Nymphaea said:

I will always be searching for my sober life's "something more".

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Good, but...
Come to end of the search!
Find it, then call off the search!
The main obstacle (if there is one) to enlightenment is to keep seeking for something other than Self

If truth is what you seek then where you are looking from is what you are looking for.
As how can truth be at a distance from You?
Seeing this the search for some 'thing' ends & then your Being will shine purity out of every pore...the mind when desireless just reflects what Is

No intent, just This

Nymphaea said:

I think what you are trying to say is that I must find it within myself.  And I agree to an extent.

But maybe we must do more then find inner peace.  We search for something, we find it, and then what?  I believe we must apply it in some way.

I believe in bettering society and bettering myself and the rest of everyone else, who is willing, in a spiritual way.

I believe we have to constantly think and constantly discover.  I search for more knowledge and "enlightenment".  I meditate and I look within myself.  But the more I do that the more I find that I value everyone else and everything else more then myself.

Maybe you are right, and I want you to know that I take your words to heart.

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the more you see within the more you see that within is where change happens from, it may seem that rearranging whats outside changes the environment, but when you touch your centre, the power from that touching will realign all your external 'stuff' with the centre, the vibration of your being enters a new flow, i hate how new agey that sounds but its what i feel

i want to say that looking within is not to curse whats external to you & leave it to rot, its just to correct your position as Being, and not being this or that particular thing, as when Being shines by itself with no object as a mirror of identity, it shines tremendously

'like a million suns'