My personal experience with mushrooms and family has been quite weird and destructive in terms of relationships and respect.
I used to be very open about my weed and hallucinogenic drug use with my family, as they knew I was a stoner since I was 17. I am now 22, and it has been a rocky road, but I have gained back the respect and pride that was lost when I started doing drugs, through being proactive with my music production and work ethic. But there was a time when I could barely hold a job for more that a couple of months, because my inherently negative state of mind which I have had since quite a young age would always trip my up and say "Dont conform to this shit! You dont wont to be a drone for the rest of your life do you? Lean on your mental illness as a walking stick and the family will understand if you dont follow this through." It was a total cop out of course, but because I was such a heavy pot smoker and had underlying mental problems, I wore it on my sleeve as if to say, "this is why I cant do this, and why should I, why should you?" I was young, nieve about the realities of this world, lazy, a mental wreck, and addicted to weed and hallucinogenic drugs.
This impacted greatly on my family. I alienated everybody that loved me because I couldn't deal with life without drugs anymore, even though it was the drugs that were adding to my mental turmoil and magnifying it tenfold, but I convinced myself that I could continue to use and I would be fine, after all every trip was a spiritual awakening right, so it can only get better. Wrong.
Mushrooms became an integral part of my being. I couldnt go two months without a trip. They aided me in getting out of some very low lulls in my life, by allowing me to see the beauty of the world, people, and myself again, but that only lasted as long as I remained positive whilst on them, conciously entering each trip as if it was providing me with important apiphanies and i was meeting God and he was soothing my mental troubles. But as I continued to smoke "hydro" weed, and not deal with the thought patterns that were causing the problems within my mind, I deteriorated, and my family experienced almost the same distress over my situation that I was experiencing.
This has become more of a emotional out-pour haha but if you guys and gals dont mind, its very therapeutic for me talking about this shit.
Id almost rather let it out here than in a therapists office.
So overall, my experience with mushrooms and my family has been both positive and negative. The times when I was in the depths of despair and depression, mushrooms allowed me to see the bigger picture, and helped sooth what was, but that depended on my state of mind of course, and being as erratic as it was, it was only a matter of time before the amazing trips became bad trips, and the comedown lasted for months.
At a time a couple of years back, I was chugging bottles of robotussin dxm, smoking lots of hydro, taking lsd and eating mushrooms whenever I could pick them. I spent weeks tripping sometimes, eating up to 12 dried grams a day. This was when shrooms had become my anti-depressants. I eased of for a while, but started to get back on them quite heavily. It took me a terrifying dose of approx. 200 wet grams to shake my foundations and wake me the fuck up. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack, the amount of pscylocybin I ingested felt like my entire bone structure was trying to rip through my skin!!! Truly terrifying. I nearly threw myself in front of a train that day, but luckily I fought off that idea and bared the grunt of what I had done to myself, and walked in off in a disorientated stressed stupor.
I didnt touch shrooms for a long time after that, but recently got back in to them though, overdoing it yet again by over dosing and tripping for 3 days on end. I was fucking hopeless, and the negativity that was inherent in my mindset was perpetuated by the use again, nearly bringing me to suicide. As you can imagine, my family noticed this and became very scared again, thinking I was back to my old habbits and that there was no hope for me.
Since that time, I have improved massively in my concious awareness of my thought patterns and my triggers for depression and drug taking. My family is still quite wary of my past with drugs, and it has been very difficult to earn back there trust and respect, but I am back to my old happy self so to speak, which I am very greatful and proud or myself for. The demons still lurk in the background but I am less affected by them now, and my relationship with both my mates and my family has improved with alot of time, patience, meditation, awareness and shift to love instead of fear. I still take shrooms now and then, but I am alot more wary about when, where, why, and how I take them. My fam has been amazingly understanding about everything. I could have been kicked out many times which would have fucked me up beyond repair, but their love and patience has been a blessing.
Anyway, thats my experience with the fam and shroomie situation.
A word of advice: Do not try and change your families mind about your drug use. It will never work unless they are as open-minded as yourself, and even then it is a total gamble with the way they view you and how much respect they show you (kind of a no brainer, but i thought i could change and put their minds at ease, but it didnt work at all.)
Peace, love and light everyone : )
--------------------
One love.
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
lunarcy 
VivaLaMushie 
[Re: 
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 3 4 all )
SHiZNO
MistaSmokupalot
Swami
World Spirit
Digs
MarkZero