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Rahie
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 3,524
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Funniest Joke you ever heard?
#5886900 - 07/22/06 07:25 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I cant remember what mine was, but I usual get cracked up by some good racial jokes.
Edited by Rahie (07/22/06 07:28 AM)
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5886912 - 07/22/06 07:44 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Joke: What is it like to attempt to get Shroomerites to do something?
Answer: It's like trying to herd cats.
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adamj
Superhero
Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,562
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887052 - 07/22/06 09:42 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"
"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
"No, under the tail," says the youngster.
The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question.
His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."
"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.
The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."
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Rahie
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 3,524
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: adamj]
#5887069 - 07/22/06 09:52 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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LMAO
Yeah I hear yeah about shroomeys lol
The father must be gifted like me.
Edited by Rahie (07/22/06 10:19 AM)
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,282
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: adamj]
#5887136 - 07/22/06 10:27 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says: "What is this, a joke?"
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Simisu
taken by gravity
Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Asante]
#5887169 - 07/22/06 10:44 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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the one that has always stuck with me was this:
[an abriviated castrated verstion i must add]
during WW2 these two jews get into an argument at the shower when one of them gets angry picks up the soap and throws it at the other one. the second one says "hey, lets not envolve perents in this argument"
holocust jokes are the best! (there are far better ones but this one is a classic for me)
-------------------- Shrmery Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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MrNatural
The infamousguru of goingnowhere
Registered: 03/10/06
Posts: 322
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Simisu]
#5887173 - 07/22/06 10:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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That soap could have been my grandparents.
Daaaaaaammmnn that ruined my day.
-------------------- Oh man, I can't wait to see the look on those little Eichmanns' faces when they hear this crunchy groove.
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Rahie
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 3,524
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: MrNatural]
#5887182 - 07/22/06 10:50 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hey my Grandfather died in the camps!
he fell out of a guard tower.
I am just joking and holocaust was terrible.
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887187 - 07/22/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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The following is an announcement by the National Association of Apple Growers:
"Fuck pears!"
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Harmonic_Order
Nshudimasupatogata
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 412
Loc: Out on the Street
Last seen: 17 years, 5 months
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Silversoul]
#5887264 - 07/22/06 11:29 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Jackie the Jokeman told this one: Two bananas are sitting on a riverbank, having a picnic. A turd floats by on the river, calling out, "Hey bananas! Come on in, the water's great!" One banana turns to the other and says, "You believe that shit?"
-------------------- .oOo. Are you high? .oOo..oOo. You look like you're on some kind of drug .oOo.
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bhamlaxy
Shroomerite
Registered: 01/23/05
Posts: 714
Loc: Nevada
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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One day little 7 year old Johnny approaches his mother and asks, "mommy I know you are Jewish and dad is black, so am I more black or more Jewish?"
Johnny's mother looks at him in shock and says, my "Johnny where in the world did that come from.
Go ask your father and see what he says." So little Johnny waits until his father gets home from work and says, "daddy am I more black or am I more Jewish?"
Johnny's father looks at him surprised and asks "why would you ask something like that son?"
Johnny looks up at his father and says, "well daddy Bobby down the street is looking to sell his bike for 20 dollars.
I'm just wondering whether I should Jew him down to 15 or wait until it's dark and steal the fucking thing..."
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Harmonic_Order
Nshudimasupatogata
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 412
Loc: Out on the Street
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887301 - 07/22/06 11:46 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Actually, I found this one even funnier.
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events at the olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a cowboy, who was high on cocaine and alcohol, rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now, he's president of the United States."
-------------------- .oOo. Are you high? .oOo..oOo. You look like you're on some kind of drug .oOo.
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Rahie
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 3,524
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: bhamlaxy]
#5887302 - 07/22/06 11:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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lol thats a good one
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Amatoxin
Injected With A Poison
Registered: 03/27/05
Posts: 1,934
Loc: Not So Great Britain
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887321 - 07/22/06 11:57 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
-------------------- Sectioned Under The Mental Health Act Sat 20-10-07 to Thurs 01-11-07 for playing TECHNO music
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Deadmaker
Stranger
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Amatoxin]
#5887329 - 07/22/06 12:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Haha, funny, I was just gonna post that joke about the Flinstones....I just heard it the other day.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887332 - 07/22/06 12:03 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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-------------------- "What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Rahie
Stranger
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 3,524
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: barfightlard]
#5887348 - 07/22/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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fudge_shorts
Stranger
Registered: 07/11/06
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: barfightlard]
#5887351 - 07/22/06 12:10 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?
The bucket. hahaha, i laughed when i heard that one. IN NO WAY AM I RACIST OK.
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Rahie]
#5887359 - 07/22/06 12:13 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.
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Amatoxin
Injected With A Poison
Registered: 03/27/05
Posts: 1,934
Loc: Not So Great Britain
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Re: Funniest Joke you ever heard? [Re: Silversoul]
#5887380 - 07/22/06 12:24 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He doesn't know he's black.
-------------------- Sectioned Under The Mental Health Act Sat 20-10-07 to Thurs 01-11-07 for playing TECHNO music
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