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OfflineOhTedy
Stranger
Registered: 10/05/02
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Petersburg area
Last seen: 18 years, 11 months
how about athread with good jokes?
    #942152 - 10/08/02 09:50 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

how about a thread with some good jokes?

- a guy (G) walks into a supermarket, picks up one frozen pizza, a six pack of beer, and 3 porno mags...
takes it to the cash register...
the cashier scans all the items and asks him
C: you must be single
G: why do you think so?
C: cause your fucking ugly...

hope its funny.


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OfflineJust a Punk
Shithawk

Registered: 12/26/00
Posts: 1,145
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942163 - 10/08/02 09:56 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Q: Why did the boy fall down?

A: He got hit by a cement mixer.


--------------------
-------------------------------------------------
:B


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OfflineFred Garvin
Male Prostitute
Registered: 09/24/02
Posts: 1,657
Loc: The northern part of sout...
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942174 - 10/08/02 10:01 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

from a previous post....

A priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. Up ahead they see a young boy. The priest says to the Rabbi, "hey lets screw that kid". The rabbi asks the priest "out of what?"



--------------------


The above statements are just the incoherent babblings of your friendly neighborhood Cracker!

Shur drinkin kils brane sells--but only the week ones!!


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OfflineBruiser
Fuel Injected Suicide Machine

Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 15,255
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942176 - 10/08/02 10:01 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I think this is somewhere else around here but:

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

-It was stapled to the chicken

-Bruiser


--------------------
-I put the chrome to your dome


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OfflineBullfrog1
Discovery BeyondImagination

Registered: 07/03/02
Posts: 272
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942338 - 10/08/02 11:02 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Two bulls were standing on the top of a hill looking down on a bunch of heifers. One bull said to the other, "Why don't we run down the hill and fuck one of those heifers". The other bull said, "Why don't we walk down the hill and fuck'em all!"

Was watching 'Colors' the other day, it was a joke in the movie.



--------------------



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OfflineCurious_George
You want abaloon?

Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 1,065
Loc: La La Land
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: Bullfrog1]
    #942378 - 10/08/02 11:17 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Q: What did the mayo say to the fridge?

A: Close the door , i'm dressing!


--------------------
************************************.>>>>>
Here Johny,, have a joint.. all your friends are doing it!!


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Offline_unKle
An heart thatdeviseth wickedimaginations
Registered: 09/08/02
Posts: 38
Loc: Bonny Scotland
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942390 - 10/08/02 11:27 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

:grin: heheh thats good my mother laughed at that.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to santa 


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Offlinerain_angel
EnLigHTenD MiNDRancHeR
Registered: 03/14/02
Posts: 493
Loc: Next door to you
Last seen: 15 years, 12 days
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: _unKle]
    #942516 - 10/08/02 12:29 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

whats worse then 10 dead babies stapled to 10 trees? 1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees.



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OfflineMindTrap
Disembodiedvoice
Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 349
Loc: It's all in your head...
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: rain_angel]
    #942540 - 10/08/02 12:38 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Check this out. This is supposedly the world's funniest joke.


http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20021003/od_nm/life_joke_dc


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InvisibleRin
Comfortably Numb
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/15/01
Posts: 1,988
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: MindTrap]
    #942561 - 10/08/02 12:47 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

2 muffins are baking in a oven, one muffin says "holy shit its hot in here". the other muffin says "holy shit a talkin muffin".  :laugh:


--------------------
The closer you get to the meaning, the sooner you know that you're dreaming...



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InvisibleDreaMaTrix
Shaman I am

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/11/02
Posts: 3,125
Loc: Falling into place
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #942564 - 10/08/02 12:50 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

2 condoms walkin past a gay bar, one says 'lets go in here and get shitfaced'.

hahahahaha



--------------------





"We are the one's we have been waiting for" - Hopi saying


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InvisibleFrog31337
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 779
Loc: Midwest, US
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: DreaMaTrix]
    #943436 - 10/08/02 06:12 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Yucky!  :blush:


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InvisibleAnne_Atomic
AnatomicallyCorrect

Registered: 05/10/02
Posts: 39
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #943529 - 10/08/02 06:52 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken.


--------------------
Anne : D


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InvisibleAnne_Atomic
AnatomicallyCorrect

Registered: 05/10/02
Posts: 39
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #943536 - 10/08/02 06:54 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."


--------------------
Anne : D


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OfflineGreen_Velvet
Super Human HipHop Head
Registered: 07/26/02
Posts: 412
Loc: La La Land
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #944169 - 10/08/02 11:17 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.  :tongue: 


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OfflineMajor_Buzz
just like that

Registered: 02/14/02
Posts: 190
Loc: Left Bank
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #945219 - 10/09/02 11:33 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

A blonde and a brunette walk into Rustans department store.
They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle.
The brunette sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's
quite nice, don't you think?"

The blonde takes a sniff and replies, "That is nice. What's
it called?"

"Viens a moi," replies the brunette.

"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"

At this stage the store clerk offers some help. "Viens a
moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French." He then sprays
some on the blonde's wrist.

The blonde takes another sniff, then offers her arm to the
brunette, and remarks, "That doesn't smell like cum to me.
Does that smell like cum to you?"


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Offlinelogosin
umm...

Registered: 02/03/02
Posts: 87
Loc: im going down to puerto r...
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: Major_Buzz]
    #947419 - 10/09/02 10:53 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

why do doctors spank new born baby's?........to knock the dicks of the stupid ones


What did the buddist say to the hotdog vendor?.......make me one with everything.


--------------------
Excess

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.



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Offlineatoning_unifex
bovine entity

Registered: 10/28/01
Posts: 168
Last seen: 15 years, 4 days
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: Major_Buzz]
    #947424 - 10/09/02 10:54 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

a horse walks into a bar...

and the bartender says ..."Why the long face?"


--------------------
" time is a drug.... too much will kill you"

......Ballad of Atoning Unifex.....

At the age of 30 something
he realised
he'd never ride
through london
in a black cab
with weird drugs
in his veins......


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InvisibleJonnyOnTheSpot
Sober Surfer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 11,527
Loc: North Carolina
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: OhTedy]
    #947537 - 10/09/02 11:26 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together. They both want a drink, but they have no money on them. The priest says "i've got an idea how to get us some free drinks" The priest walks into the bar and orders a drink, downs it, the bartender gives him the tab, and then the priest says "but my son, i've already paid you for this drink" The bartender says "I'm terribly sorry father, it's just been so busy here, i must have forgotten" Then the rabbi walks in orders a drink, drinks it, the bartender gives him the tab, and the rabbi says "Son, i paid you when i ordered the drink" The bartender says "I'm terribly sorry rabbi, but thats the second time thats happened to me today" The rabbi says, "Thats ok son no offence take. Now just give me change for the twenty i gave you and i'll be on my way."


--------------------
Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell; spirituality is for those who have been there.


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Offline_unKle
An heart thatdeviseth wickedimaginations
Registered: 09/08/02
Posts: 38
Loc: Bonny Scotland
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: JonnyOnTheSpot]
    #948583 - 10/10/02 08:25 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

maybe you wont get this if your not from the uk but here goes:

Man walks into a bar in Wales and orders a white wine, bartender says: "Dont take this the wrong way sir but from what your ordering your propably not from around these parts."
Man says: "No im from London."
Bartender:" What do you do in London then?"
Man:" im a taxidermist"
Bartender: "whats that?"
Man: " i mount dead animals"
Bartender ( shouts to the entire pub) : "ITS OK BOYS HE'S ONE OF US"


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: _unKle]
    #8327919 - 04/25/08 08:02 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

so a rapist, a pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar
and that was just the first guy


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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OfflineCoaster
Baʿal
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 33,501
Loc: Deep in the Valley
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: fee]
    #8327922 - 04/25/08 08:03 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

:haha:


--------------------


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Invisibletrscstghst
stranger
Male


Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 786
Loc: here
Re: how about athread with good jokes? [Re: Coaster]
    #8329405 - 04/26/08 04:33 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

little boy is staying at grandparents house for the weekend. he follows grandpa around while he does his chores. when grand paw mows the grass the boy asks if he can mow. grandpas says can your dick touch your asshole? little boy says no. grandpa: well theres your answer. later grandpa is sharpening the lawnmower blade. little boy says can i help? grandpa: can your dick touch your asshole? boy: no. grandpa: well theres your answer. later grandpa is chopping wood. boy: can i help? grandpa: can your dick touch your asshole? boy: no. grandpa: well theres your answer. why dont you go inside with your grandma. shes making cookies. later grandpa comes in to the boy sittng at the table with aplate of cookies. grandpa: can i have one of those? boy: can your dick touch your asshole? grandpa: hell yeah it can. boy: then why dont you go fuck yourself then old man


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Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?
o Henry Ford


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