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Offlinebeatlebangboy
Absinthe-ian
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 2,354
Loc: Bum Fuck Florida
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Funniest Joke
    #2832821 - 06/27/04 10:46 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

With all the troubles in the world today, I think we need a good laugh. Put down one or two of the funniest jokes you know. Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em.
Here are my 2 favorites:

Q. How do you know if you satisfied your woman ?
A. When you wake up in the morning, your face feels like a glazed donut.


Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A. Full!


--------------------
Check out my tunes. You will be better off for it.
www.myspace.com/beatlebangboy


Edited by beatlebangboy (06/27/04 11:08 AM)


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Invisiblegoobler
Reanimated
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: beatlebangboy]
    #2832823 - 06/27/04 10:48 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

:thumbdown:


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InvisibleRevelation

 User Gallery

Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,134
Loc: heart cave
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: beatlebangboy]
    #2832832 - 06/27/04 10:51 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

beatlebangboy said:
Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em.





But jokes about fatties are? Well sir, I beg to differ.

Q. Why did so many black people die in vietnam?
A. Because when the allies shouted "Get down!" they all started dancing.

*silence*


--------------------


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Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Revelation]
    #2832842 - 06/27/04 11:00 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse?
They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.


What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork


What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew


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Invisiblelukeboots
fresh futuristic
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Revelation]
    #2832857 - 06/27/04 11:07 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Q.  Why did so many black people die in vietnam?
A.  Because when the allies shouted "Get down!" they all started dancing.




:lol:


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Offlinebeatlebangboy
Absinthe-ian
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 2,354
Loc: Bum Fuck Florida
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Revelation]
    #2832870 - 06/27/04 11:13 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Revelation said:
Quote:

beatlebangboy said:
Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em.





But jokes about fatties are? Well sir, I beg to differ.





Valid point there my friend, valid point. On with the jokes.


--------------------
Check out my tunes. You will be better off for it.
www.myspace.com/beatlebangboy


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OfflineSKINNYDOGGY
synth junky

Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 353
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: beatlebangboy]
    #2833107 - 06/27/04 12:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Q: What is 12 inches and can make a woman scream all night long




































A: A stillborn :shocked:


--------------------
Feels Like Heaven Taste Like Shit



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OfflineSev
Astropath
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 1,426
Loc: NY
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: SKINNYDOGGY]
    #2833792 - 06/27/04 04:47 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Oh, that's not half as tasteless as this:

q: What's red and slimy and crawls up your leg?
a: A homesick abortion.


--------------------
"Do we want the stars? We can have them. Can we borrow cups of fire from the sun? We can and must and light the world." --"On the Shoulders of Giants", Ray Bradbury

All of my posts are full of fiction and blatant lies.


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
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Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Sev]
    #2833812 - 06/27/04 04:55 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

both are nasty :thumbdown:


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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Offlinenotapillow
I want to be a fisherman
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Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,116
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 1 year, 16 days
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Ripple]
    #2833822 - 06/27/04 05:00 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

i agree :frown:




but there a little funny :wink:


--------------------




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InvisiblePat Bateman, VP
Dr. House's Inspiration
Female User Gallery

Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 50,876
Loc: Inconceivable opulence
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: cb9fl]
    #3335181 - 11/09/04 12:21 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

cb9fl said:

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork






Magnificent


--------------------
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor.
No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God.
No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something
different. I chose the impossible. I chose...
Rapture.
-  Andrew Ryan

Formula: 0


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InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335196 - 11/09/04 12:24 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

How do you turn a fox into a whale?













Marry her. :tongue2:


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InvisiblePat Bateman, VP
Dr. House's Inspiration
Female User Gallery

Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 50,876
Loc: Inconceivable opulence
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Boom]
    #3335203 - 11/09/04 12:25 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

this isn't actually a joke, but it sounds funny:


i like my THC with a little oxygen


--------------------
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor.
No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God.
No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something
different. I chose the impossible. I chose...
Rapture.
-  Andrew Ryan

Formula: 0


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Invisiblefearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc: Flag
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335256 - 11/09/04 12:37 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)



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Invisiblefearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc: Flag
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
    #3335318 - 11/09/04 12:48 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

why can't hellen keller drive?

because she's a woman


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OfflinePathos
A million pieces
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 1,045
Loc: Under the stairs
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
    #3335382 - 11/09/04 01:03 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

whats worse than 100 dead babies in a garbage can?



1 dead baby in 100 garbage cans


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Offlinedaimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
    #3335410 - 11/09/04 01:10 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

"If the guy was poor, I would give it back."
---Yogi Berra, when asked what he would do if he found a
million dollars


A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he
had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to
do except play with himself.

After many years, even that became so monotonous that he
couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any
happiness, he started to lose his sanity. One morning, as
he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the
distance. He quickly starts a fire then throws wet seaweed
on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship
starts to come his way!

He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be
saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot
shower. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm
going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a
nice lady to dance with, then I will take to her cabin and
we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take
off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!"

At this, he starts to get an erection. He slips his hand
into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha! Ha! Ha!
I lied about the ship!"


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."


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Offlinecountryboysmoker
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 80
Last seen: 13 years, 30 days
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Pathos]
    #3335413 - 11/09/04 01:10 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

How do you get 100 babies in a garbage sack?

blender....

How do you get them out?

doritoes


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OfflinePathos
A million pieces
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 1,045
Loc: Under the stairs
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: countryboysmoker]
    #3335423 - 11/09/04 01:13 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

:projectile:


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
НơĻ?ĢΉō

Registered: 06/14/00
Posts: 29,281
Loc: Shroomery B-list.
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Funniest Joke [Re: countryboysmoker]
    #3335430 - 11/09/04 01:15 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Baby seal walks into a club.


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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