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Ravus
Not an EggshellWalker
Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Urb]
#4121112 - 05/01/05 09:36 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Wow, that makes me wish I had kids
-------------------- So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.
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Longshanx
Lazy Lightning
Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 299
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: encryptor]
#4121178 - 05/01/05 09:54 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Little Jimmy comes home from school and says to his dad, "dad there were some kids on the playground today talking about vaginas.... What does a vagina look like?"
Jimmy's dad replies, "Well son, before sex, a vagina looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
Jimmy then says, "What does a vagina look like after sex dad?"
Jimmy's dad answers, " Well Jimmy, have you ever seen a bull-dog eating mayonaise."
-------------------- Just a guy in the world doin' the best I can
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Stonerguy
I smoke penis
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 5,538
Loc: Lost
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Ravus]
#4121222 - 05/01/05 10:08 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Why do they put cotton over the pills in pill bottles? To remind the nigers befor they were drug dealers they had to pick cotton.
Whats the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day.
A alchoholic and a stoner both got sent to hell. The devil walked up to the alchoholic and sayed "since you like to drink im going to put you in this room", he opens up a door and the room has everything rum, luquire, beer, vodka, anything. So he closes the door
He then walks up to the stoner and says since you like to smoke im going to put you in this room. he opens the door and there is any kind of weed you can htink of mowie wowie, purple haze, kb, ak-47, white widow, anything. so the stoner walks in and sits indian style and the devil closes the door.
A thousand years later he go to the alchohalics door and he opens it. The man with all ragged witha big ass hang over says "Man im never going to drink again." So the devil lets him go back to another life on earth. He walks over to the stoners door and opens it. The stoner still sitting indian style says with a tear in his eyes "Do you have a light??"
There are a couple of pretty long ones that are funny as fuck but i dont feel like typing them
-------------------- yawn... SG
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Fospher
Crime FightingMaster Criminal
Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,033
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Longshanx]
#4121243 - 05/01/05 10:15 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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What'd the mexican say when his homework flew out the window? >> Come back essay!
What'd the mexican say when his house fell on him? >> Hey get off me homes
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? >> See you next month
A black guy sees an asian man throw rocks at a pond. He comes up to him and asks "Hey man, what you doing?" > "Well, you see, if you throw rocks at pond, it tells you names of your ancestors" He throws a rock and it goes 'ching, chang, chung'. > "Oh shit man, lemme try" The black guy throws a rock and it goes 'chim, pan, zee' > "Oh hell no man", says the black guy, and goes to the back of the pond and finds the biggest rock he can find. He picks it up over his head, throws it and it goes "BABOOOOOON!"
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batou
artist
Registered: 05/06/00
Posts: 398
Loc: colorado
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Stonerguy]
#4121253 - 05/01/05 10:20 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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what do you call a middle eastern guy flying a plane?
a pilot you racist fuck!
-------------------- The multiple troubles of man, My brother, like slander and pain Amaze you? Consider the heart That holds them all in strangeness And doesn't break. "The Dude abides..."--jeffrey lebowski
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Beaver
Stranger
Registered: 09/26/06
Posts: 54
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: encryptor]
#9038314 - 10/06/08 05:45 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whats Black and comes in a little white can>????
Michael Jackson
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misos
A wandering soul
Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 2,014
Loc: Elsewhere.
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Beaver]
#9038334 - 10/06/08 05:48 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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What do fat white chicks and roffing shingles have in common?
They both have a 98% chance of getting nailed by a mexican.
LOL. I love that one. It warms my heart.
-------------------- "If I had a single wish, I would have every single human on this planet see this natural world the way I see it; the beauty in such simple things such as a fallen tree that is covered in moss and that has new trees growing from it. To some, fallen trees are ugly. But in reality, it is the circle of life at its finest. This is a beautiful world, its time that we recognize that before its all gone."
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Ogre812
Padawan Learner
Registered: 05/25/08
Posts: 1,763
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: misos]
#9038345 - 10/06/08 05:51 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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A baby seal walks into a club.
-------------------- Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither, and will lose both. ~ Benjamin Franklin ~ "Let me tell you about a Porcupine's balls. They're small, and they don't give a SHIT!" ~Danny~
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0kehSt0nr
Bakery Fresh
Registered: 03/15/06
Posts: 767
Loc: smb://slakcr
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: Ogre812]
#9038394 - 10/06/08 06:04 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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what's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
you can't fuck a table
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misos
A wandering soul
Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 2,014
Loc: Elsewhere.
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: 0kehSt0nr]
#9038518 - 10/06/08 06:29 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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... Speak for yourself.
-------------------- "If I had a single wish, I would have every single human on this planet see this natural world the way I see it; the beauty in such simple things such as a fallen tree that is covered in moss and that has new trees growing from it. To some, fallen trees are ugly. But in reality, it is the circle of life at its finest. This is a beautiful world, its time that we recognize that before its all gone."
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No Agenda
Stranger
Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 938
Loc: Somewhere else
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: 0kehSt0nr]
#9038535 - 10/06/08 06:34 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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A young man in Arkansas goes home and tells his father he thinks he finally found a girl he wants to marry. His father asks him if she is good in bed. He tells his father he doesn't know and that she is still a virgin. His father tells him that he can't marry her. When he asks his father why his father tells him if she ain't good enough for her own family she ain't good enough for his.
I applied for a job at a mental hospital today. They told me that I needed at least 24 hours experience so I was wondering if you want to hang out.
For sale by owner- complete set of encyclopedias. No longer needed got married wife fucking knows everything.
Why doesn't Mexico teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day? Because it wears out the donkey.
The other day I was at school and the teacher told me to sit Indian style. So I grabbed a 30 pack and layed down on the curb.
Why did they make Micheal Jackson quit the cub scouts? He was up to a pack a day.
I black boy and a white girl played everyday after school. Everyday the girl wanted to play dolls. Finally the boy said it was his turn to pick what they play and he wanted to play construction. The girl said ok how do we play? He said you lay down and I'll blacktop you.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Bad ASS Jokes [Re: No Agenda]
#9038739 - 10/06/08 07:15 PM (15 years, 5 months ago) |
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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Purple.
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