Veritas said:

Are those really the only reasons? Or is there a real or perceived power differential in the relationship you have with your parents? Are there resources under their control which they might withhold from you if you were honest? Do they threaten to withhold their affection if you disagree/disobey?

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Veritas said:

They are certainly free to question you about whatever they want. What may be out of line is if they insist on getting answers. My mother had a hard time dealing with me saying "that is none of your business" when she tried to interrogate me. I insisted that she must respect my right as an adult to have a private life, and that there would be areas of my life which she was not allowed to know about. Eventually, I told her that if she continued to interrogate me and throw temper tantrums when I did not cooperate, I would not continue to have a relationship with her. That got through to her.

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Veritas said:

Here I think you may be lying more to avoid personal responsibility for your choices, and less to appease. It is difficult to tell without specific examples, but if you are telling "social lies" such as "Oh, I'd love to come to your doily-crocheting party this Saturday, but I promised to take my invalid aunt to Walmart" you may want to avoid the scary prospect of saying "I am not interested in the same things you are, but I still wish to be your friend."

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Veritas said:

IMO the reason to tell the truth is to develop a sense of self-trust. Whether anyone else knows you are lying, YOU always know. When I step up and tell the scary truth, I feel stronger and more centered. Each time I show myself that I can handle the consequences of being real, I believe it more. I believe in myself more.

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CosmicJoke said:

consider taking a haitus from your psychoactive hobbies only to find employment and a couple of peers who you could live with and relate to eye-to-eye. in all likelihood your folks would be happy to piece together furnishings. imagine how liberating your own territory, free from the energy draining brat/nag bitch roles you and you folks fell into, now enlivened by life's struggles, finding a greater sense of comfort in your ability to solve your problems rather than playing out the overgrown brat trip until your self-confidence is mangled worse than your parents nerves. by balancing out your living expenses, there's a real opportunity to witness the dynamics of human spirit - you'll need the integrity to not fall for impulsive consumerism for the quick high be it drugs or new rims for your car,

your parents will lighten up on hassling you about drugs when they no longer enable you to "stay little" - when they don't fear your call at 3am for bail money i bet they'd even enjoy going out for a drink with you.

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