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When im in this state of mind i get no negative thoughts. My mind wont allow it. I even tried to think of one of the negative thoughts i get and my mind wouldnt process it. THe same goes when i get in a down mood. Nothing postive will go through my head.

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What this might means is that you're looking for happiness outside yourself.  When you find happiness that comes from the conditions of your life, you block out the bad stuff - but it's still there, as evidenced by the cyclical return to negativity.  These states are two sides of the same unsatisfying coin.  To be truly happy, you have to work on inner calmness regardless of outside circumstances - being in the Now.

What you're describing is pretty normal in my experience.  I felt for a while as though I totally lost my sense of humor and a lot of my intellect as well because of the experiences I had on psychedelics.  They were just so powerful and strange, I felt it was impossible to converse about the mundane things in life.  Eventually I learned to appreciate the little things, to recognize that being unable to give your attention to another human being is caused by an unhealthy desire to be elsewhere, to be in the future. 

What's important now, in my opinion, is taking care of your body (eating a balanced diet, exercising, walking in nature) and stimulating your mind (reading challenging books, staying away from TV and other mind-numbing activities, perhaps meditating).  Maybe part of the reason you are having trouble keeping up conversations is that part of you has been awakened through mushroom use to how un-stimulating many conversations are: just minds bouncing off each other, without any real exchange or communion.  Strive to speak from the heart, and if you find nothing meaningful to say, so be it.  Silence is wisdom.  Just pay close attention, feel the other person's presence, reject any negative emotions that arise ('I wish I were being more funny or insightful', 'I wish I didn't have to listen to this guy run his mouth right now', etc.), and try to appreciate the being behind the words and your shared experience of the present moment.

Relax and enjoy the fact that you exist.

Hmmm well what you're describing is perfectly fine considering your experiences with mushrooms this summer. If you're wondering about going insane the answer is no. It is so because you're an aware observer of who you are and how you feel. If you feel bad or confused it doesn't mean that there's something "wrong" with you, you just probably need A LOT of time to integrate all your psychedelic experiences in your day to day life.

You said you read some info in what psychedelic do to you, so you should remember that through them you break old patterns and habits, you beliefs shake and what you used to take as valid doesn't seem so credible anymore. If you ask me, thins is goos step. Questioning is a sure recipe for turning us into more conscious beings. Until you had these experiences, like you said, you were used to the life style you were living, to your food diet and so on. Now you're beginning to question if this is good for you. Needless to say that eating fast food is extremely damaging for your health, so you're just becoming aware it. The next step would be for you to start considering in having a more healthy diet.

At the risk of repeating myself, you seem like a lucid person and aware of who you are, but I am saying all that for a reason. The reason is that, contrary to what might one initially think, your mind is not failing you. You said that you find it difficult to have a conversation. This does not mean that your mind is not active, because if it were to be true, then you would not have been able to write all that. So maybe you should pay more attention to your thoughts. Perhaps the discussions you're engaging yourself into are not in accordance to your interests, they are not on your top concerns. Or maybe you feel that you can't really connect to those people. The problem could be on your side because you could have developed a certain degree of social anxiety, but it is known that psychedelics make you be a little more introvert. Which doesn't mean that you're not looking for communication. In fact, you can take this as an opportunity and turn everything in your favor by looking for deeper and more meaningful means of interacting with those around you. I suggest that you give yourself some time and take a break from any social activity, in the measures that you can. Take that time and spend it with yourself. Rediscover what is going on your mind and what you want and also what you don't want from life. Some times it is easier for us to establish what we don't want, so you can start from there and then make those changes happen to you.

You feel that you're on auto-pilot because usually you are. Most of us are. The difference is that until now you weren't aware of being on auto pilot. Now that you are, as soon as you realize what you're doing, all you have to do is switch back to "manually".

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My thoughts are usally negative, thinking that everything is going to work out for the worst in my life. There are sometimes when I get really happy and feel really good. When im in this state of mind i get no negative thoughts. My mind wont allow it. I even tried to think of one of the negative thoughts i get and my mind wouldnt process it. THe same goes when i get in a down mood. Nothing postive will go through my head.

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So are they any suggestions for me. I would like to go back to before this summer how things used to be. Do you guys think that this is contributed to my excessive mushroom use? If it is will this depession/dullness/absent mindedness go away on its own or should i get prescribed to some antidepressents.

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You don't need anti depressants. All you need is for you to open up to yourself and make the most of your experience. And you seem very able to do so.

MushroomTrip said:

Hmmm well what you're describing is perfectly fine considering your experiences with mushrooms this summer. If you're wondering about going insane the answer is no. It is so because you're an aware observer of who you are and how you feel. If you feel bad or confused it doesn't mean that there's something "wrong" with you, you just probably need A LOT of time to integrate all your psychedelic experiences in your day to day life.

You said you read some info in what psychedelic do to you, so you should remember that through them you break old patterns and habits, you beliefs shake and what you used to take as valid doesn't seem so credible anymore. If you ask me, thins is goos step. Questioning is a sure recipe for turning us into more conscious beings. Until you had these experiences, like you said, you were used to the life style you were living, to your food diet and so on. Now you're beginning to question if this is good for you. Needless to say that eating fast food is extremely damaging for your health, so you're just becoming aware it. The next step would be for you to start considering in having a more healthy diet.

At the risk of repeating myself, you seem like a lucid person and aware of who you are, but I am saying all that for a reason. The reason is that, contrary to what might one initially think, your mind is not failing you. You said that you find it difficult to have a conversation. This does not mean that your mind is not active, because if it were to be true, then you would not have been able to write all that. So maybe you should pay more attention to your thoughts. Perhaps the discussions you're engaging yourself into are not in accordance to your interests, they are not on your top concerns. Or maybe you feel that you can't really connect to those people. The problem could be on your side because you could have developed a certain degree of social anxiety, but it is known that psychedelics make you be a little more introvert. Which doesn't mean that you're not looking for communication. In fact, you can take this as an opportunity and turn everything in your favor by looking for deeper and more meaningful means of interacting with those around you. I suggest that you give yourself some time and take a break from any social activity, in the measures that you can. Take that time and spend it with yourself. Rediscover what is going on your mind and what you want and also what you don't want from life. Some times it is easier for us to establish what we don't want, so you can start from there and then make those changes happen to you.

You feel that you're on auto-pilot because usually you are. Most of us are. The difference is that until now you weren't aware of being on auto pilot. Now that you are, as soon as you realize what you're doing, all you have to do is switch back to "manually".

Quote:

My thoughts are usally negative, thinking that everything is going to work out for the worst in my life. There are sometimes when I get really happy and feel really good. When im in this state of mind i get no negative thoughts. My mind wont allow it. I even tried to think of one of the negative thoughts i get and my mind wouldnt process it. THe same goes when i get in a down mood. Nothing postive will go through my head.

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Here's a thing that you can do: when you have negative thoughts, write them down, as detailed as you can. The same thing goes for when you have positive thoughts. Then compare. Then do it again and compare again. Read your negative thoughts when you feel good and read your positive thoughts when you feel bad. This is for creating a balance and also finding out what remains the same and what changes.

Quote:

So are they any suggestions for me. I would like to go back to before this summer how things used to be. Do you guys think that this is contributed to my excessive mushroom use? If it is will this depession/dullness/absent mindedness go away on its own or should i get prescribed to some antidepressents.

---

You don't need anti depressants. All you need is for you to open up to yourself and make the most of your experience. And you seem very able to do so.

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Excellent post You are not imbalanced and whatever pill they could (and would) dole out would not in any way aid your balance. I went through a similar thing at around your age, I convinced myself I had damaged my brain and was going to end up in some padded cell screaming. I started getting panic attacks and all that shit which were quite unpleasant, anyway my point is that I didnt go nuts and nor will you. I wish you the best, I know it's not easy.