@Awfullotofshrooms, wishing you well during this transitional time dude- you've got this.

Got round to trying Zapotecorum Texolo on sunday around midnight...
PRIMO FUNGUS, highly potent with a deep and long trip.
Potency wise, I'd say they are deffo up there on the level of their sect Zap friends Semp/Subtrops. Starting surprisingly quick-maybe 25 mins- from a loosely capsulated 2.2g dry, I felt euphoric when meditating and switched on some Tipper, but my ears were so sensitive I couldn't make it quiet enough so I put on 'Authentic Polynesia' and the more acoustic tones seemed to be nicer (headphones as middle of night)
Bliss and euphoria a while- I remember goodlife on hear mentioning on a DMT thread about just putting love out into hyprspace rather than ask for anything or have an agenda- for some reason that seemed the order of the day for this new greeting of Zaps, so I just chanted and was really in a good place, on the beanbag with the lights out, chilling & letting the good feelings wash over me. I took my headphones off and just lay in silence.
Some stage, it just ramped up powerfully and I couldn't understand the chant, I was hearing my internal voice foreign or as though an alien language, "om mani padme hum" was becoming like "man pdle mmbl pab" and all that, then just series of sounds and plosives & shit, my body felt really really heavy, not that comfortable, and I needed to piss but I couldn't work the beanbag in a way that made me get up. It was like quicksand and I hated the noise of the "beans" so loudly.
:
So then I struggled to stand up to walk for more than a few steps, my vision was absolutely fucked up- scale and proportion wise- stuff was moving so much as to render the 'flowing' of surfaces irrelevent as the world itsself was flowing or animated to no rules. I made it to the couch. Although I don't remember CEV specifics because of my headspace keeping me off on some tangents at all times, a lot of stuff was going on behind eyelids is as much detail as I recall. Zoomin through bits.


Confined as I was horizontally, I must have decided to have a wank to pass the time but it was no use. The only things that were doing it for my mind, were like... Cosmically horny haha, these concepts that I can't remember now but too abstract to imagine with any meaningfulness, but when i "understood" the right one, it was like "HELLO!!", mentally speaking. BUT the only things that would do it for my dick were ideas of typical human sex, which compared to the other stuff was laughably crass and not even hot.
 So there was some discordance there between mind and body that just called a stalemate to it. And I needed to piss so badly as well.
So I lay in the dark for an unknown time, dark thoughts were popping up all around now and, rather than in meditation for example- where careful approach and slow acceptance are my usual attempted response- I just kept "low" in hopes these would pass and I could stop tripping.
Some time, a cat of mine approached me and I percieved it as seeming ill, so then I spiralled about my cat who had died thinking it time to care for this other cat. I think, had I been a bit less high, I could take the cue to sit down and process some grief etc but instead felt panicked.
Remember feeling like a choking feeling I 'realised' whatever happened with not being able to stand up was like some spirit battle wherein I had to take enough pride in my home (? for real) and the spirits of my family, as not to succumb to this force trying to make me lie down and sleep. So I kept standing up, being brought back down to a kneel.
I was "remembering" flashes stuff from the past as though I were there again, as if every life experience we ever have and their consituent emotional and sensory components are zipped and put into a unique barcode that can be brought up at any time against our will. I don't put weight into their contents, so again I tried to just use what wherewithall I had to stay "low" and passive against this seeming barrage of attempts to bring my spirit down. Still, feels, visceral.
Managed to breathe enough so as to focus my mind on the present moment, and my room looked like it had drooping patches of black and white among its wild, tumultuous render. Carefully does it, I made it through to the bedroom where my gf slept at the far side of a really, REALLY long looking bed. I could see the cat who slept beside her like a big lion in the dark! I could hear everthing of all our bodies, rushing blood, stomach noises and breath flutters so loudly, I didn't notice my heavy tinnitus all trip.
On my approach, I noticed my gf's face was like a silver and white Vienesse masquarade mask. So creepy.
Do we were these to sleep? Where is mine? What is the place here? I tried to feel the sheet, so what the fuck are these? I rememeber wondering but then she rolled and what I had been seeing was the side of head, and ear, neck hair etc. And it settled into her normal face like motion blurred. Fuckin weird moment.
Things settled a lot from here, I explained the situation best I could. She helped me see the cat who I worried was axctually healthy, we spoke a while where she talked me down a lot. There is a lot of family stuff going on she helped me see why I may be stressed and not to worry, go for a piss, got some water to drink, splash on my face etc. I hadn't realised how far out there I'd gotten!
 And it had only been around 2 or maybe 3 hours.

Then she helped me to the living room where we set up a nest and put Guierllmo Del Toros Frankenstein on 4K (only 2nd viewing). I tried to help put some dab into her vape etc but all the components were missized and my attempts served merely as a gesture of goodwill. I declined vigoursly any involvement in breathing weed, since I finally felt some sense of anchoring in my own personality. I felt very sick though and was tempted on a hit for nausea but honestly, the idea spooked me after just being so spun out.
Our neighbour's are all gone RN, for one reason or another, so fuckin got the volume pumped. I was transfixed, the visuals had settled so everything just had the smooth, languorous laziness of a loose oil painting, and the movie didn't always stay to the screen, leeching out filaments of its fantastical environments and bringing them to coherence with our living room.
A funny moment here, where we praised this MASTERPIECE OF STORYTELLING was I remebered GC rating hoppers 8/10 and thinking "Hoppers is NOT an 8/10" sorry GC it's a 4 at best.
 Frankensteins a full on 10 as fuck.
Anyway without typing too much more, the film was beyond incredible, imparting deep wisdom throughout and always keeping me immersed with its stylistic mastery and largely practical texturing throughout, and the experience of watching it together with my gf & cats was a balm for the soul.
When it finished & we stopped talking about it, I just left some sitcom on and she caught up back on some sleep, I phased in and out of sleep myself, the trip had all but subsided, I lay holding my little cat and feeling the fan with the sort of relieved awe of having tripped hard.


I don't feel like tripping any time soon, but I feel really fresh and good.
 Thank you to my partner in crime and to P. Zapotecorum, Bra, Nerdo & Foreign.
Cheers & mush love to you each & all :
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