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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Arkyhog] * 19
    #29445316 -

𓍊𓋼𓆏𓋼𓍊
AND THE NEW
2025.
NOOB OF THE YEAR.
IS...............
𖡼.𖥧.....𖥧........𖥧
(mobile users please turn your phone sideways)

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Kloakk!!!!





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Member # 627029 

Title Strange 
Total Posts 3,316 
Average Posts Per Day 7.55
Gender Male
Occupation Nuclear fission  (seriously? I don't doubt this)
Hobbies Data collection 
Location Scandinavia 
Registered On 10/21/24 12:44 AM 
Last Seen 01/03/26 07:32 AM Offline
Ignored By 0 member(s) (what fucking moron would do that?)
Signature

“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett

Buddy. I don't even know where to begin. Everyone was already whispering this and I hope that you didn't know this was coming. You truly are the flame in the dark. Its been my absolute pleasure getting to know you, and I am simultaneously never surprised by what you have to say AND shocked and awed by your insight and thoughtfulness every time I talk to you. You've been a flame in the dark for me personally and I think you know why. Your words were like a torch to me in a cave when I really couldn't see what I was doing or had any idea which direction the exit was. Bless you for that. Thank you for making space for me. Thank you for making space for all of us. Thank you for everything.

Lets not also skip over the fact that you took this hobby by the horns in a way that I do not think I have seen anyone else do, ever. Its truly inspiring. If it were up to me, I'd slap the TC tag on you henceforth because god knows you've earned it faster than I think anyone in the history of this place ever has. Your ambition is absolutely remarkable and to say I admire it is the understatement of the year. I believe I speak for a lot of us when I say that am actively doing my best to be more like you every day. Bless you. Bless you.

As was always the case, anything you need from me--anything within my power--is yours if you only ask. anything. Anytime. I hope that one day Duc and I will get to meet you and your amazing family in person. The world is a better place with you out there and I thank the Universe for that. You have restored my hope in humanity in a way that I don't think I would have previously considered had I not gotten to know you. Bless you for that too.

Now. Brace yourself my friend. Buy a bigger mailbox. Tip your mailman because you're about to be blown up. Your little corner of the world shall be forever changed by your influence of love and compassion, hero. Everything is on the house. Please accept our collective gratitude and be forever embraced in our love for you.

:heart:Beef


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Need a lift?

Edited by BeefExtreme (01/03/26 09:36 AM)

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: BeefExtreme] * 22
    #29445318 -

For two years now, this thread has reminded me how much raw talent and energy keeps flowing into the Cultivation forum. New growers aren't just looking to be spoon-fed, they show up curious, motivated, and ready to experiment. Seeing that process unfold in real time is one of the most satisfying parts of this community for me.

By all accounts, Kloakk stood out immediately for exactly that reason. From day one, he's shown an uncommon mix of humility and drive - the kind of person who listens carefully, learns fast, and then pushes the ideas further. He doesn't just follow techniques, he scrutinizes and adapts them, and isn't afraid to build something entirely new when the situation calls for it. That level of initiative, especially so early on, is rare.

The little flame icon next to his name is more than just decoration. It's a nod to the obvious fire behind his work - the ambition, curiosity, and momentum that keep him moving forward and pulling others along with him. If this is what the "noob" phase looks like, his future contributions will be very exciting to watch! :laugh:

Congratulations Kloakk, our Noob Of The Year. You've earned the recognition, and the respect that comes with it. And thanks to BeefSupremeJr and everyone involved in the award process - this thread is a great snapshot of the Shroomery at its best, and demonstrates exactly why the Cultivation forum continues to thrive. :heart::cheers:

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: Ythan] * 12
    #29445320 -

Kloakk,

I'm so glad you joined the shroomery. 

Ya know, it’s really cool to share something you love with someone new.  Watching the seeds of fascination sew.  Grinning when the obsession starts to take root.  Marveling when the student surpasses the teacher.

Hell of a year, man.  It’s a blessing that you found this place and chose to settle in.  This hobby brings you peace, I can tell.  I'm so glad you found it for that reason alone, but also because we get to peek your juicy froots :whoah::mushroom2:

You’re an individual, unabashedly yourself, and I dig it.  You put your energy into something you love: mastering your craft and cultivating beautiful, thought provoking, mushrooms, all with a nod towards your predecessors and an invitation to your successors.  These character traits make you stand out.  You’ve put in the reps, asked the questions, learned, digested, created, and shared.  And you’ve been nothing but grateful, appreciative, giving, encouraging, and inspiring. 

All of that and more is why you are the undisputed Noob of the Year.  Congratulations, it's well earned.  You’ve started something good for yourself, and we’re all along for the ride, so hang out for a while.

Love you buddy.  Here’s to a life-long obsession :cheers:


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MUSHROOMS RULE

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: BeefExtreme] * 9
    #29445321 -

He came out of the womb running with agar cultures and a strong desire to succeed. Now a cult wizard himself, guiding the incoming noobs to greener pastures. As the definition of a community pillar, can you imagine this place without him? Me neither, it hurts to try. Sewer? Naw son.

Kloakk, you are loved and respected. Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest. Baby, you're the best. Congratulations my brother!

Thank you for giving up your former life as the Techno Viking to be with us.


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It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: Ythan] * 10
    #29445324 -



Unbelievable talent wrapped in a humble package.Congratulations brother! Here's a trophy for you to add to your signature!


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Hitchhikers Guide to The Shroomery

Shine on forever, shine on benevolent son
Shine down upon the severed
Shine until the two become one

Edited by ThurmanMurman (01/03/26 09:10 AM)

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: ThurmanMurman] * 5
    #29445330 -

Congratulations Kloakk! Very well deserved, always a pleasure seeing you around :heart::mushroom2:


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Pasteurizing Straw with Hydrated Lime
Swiss Cheese Fruiting Chamber

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: LadysKnight] * 6
    #29445335 -

Kloakk!!! I knew it, buddy! You’re an inspiration to all of us and you’re one helluva cultivator! Even more importantly, you’re one helluva person! There is no doubt you are light years ahead of all noobs. I hope to reach your levels at some point in the distant future and will definitely be hitting you up for advice.

Congratulations, dude! I’m super happy for ya! Fuck yeah!

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 1
    #29445340 -

All units be advised. The subject line is now locked.


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Need a lift?

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*MycoKyle 12/6/25*]💥💥 [Re: Agar Wedge] * 7
    #29445344 -

Wooooohoooo! Congratulations, Kloakk! Was never a doubt in my mind - you have the gift for growing - mushrooms and cultivators and friends and goodwill. Hats off to you, dude! Best wishes for much peace and good health for you and yours, now and evermore.

All Hail: Kloakk!

Nice work and congratulations!


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Peace to you, friend!
The HHG is a guide to getting started.
New User Welcome Wagon
GROWER’S BEST photo contest: join the fun!
CAKE WARS III - Starts SEPT 1, 2026

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: flapping_bird] * 7
    #29445348 -

His tiny hands turn everything to gold

FUCK YEAH


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Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

Collection of trip reports
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29242884#29242884

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 9
    #29445352 -

Congrats, Kloakk! I can't say I'm surprised but I am very happy for you, man! The day I stepped into this realm, I could hear the community singing your praises! Happy to know ya, bud!

Thank you for being a motivation, a friend, an icon!


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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 5
    #29445359 -

CONGRATS KLOAKK!!!!

:nyan::nyan::nyan:

By any chance do you like little crocheted plushies?


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Everything is real. Nothing is certain.



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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 6
    #29445360 -

Gratulerer kompis! :cheer:
You really deserve this one, and i am especially thankful you got me up and running in this hobby and you truly are a fountain of knowledge that just keeps on giving :lol:.

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: DiscoDave] * 4
    #29445372 -

Congrats Kolakk!!!! There are so many great noobs this year, but fuck you are truly talented! Anything I can do for you let me know! You’re a fucking legend


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Hitchhikers guide to the Shroomery

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Breadly710] * 10
    #29445381 -

Fuck yeah.

Now someone tag him.


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🅃🄴🄰🄼 🄸🄷🄾🄿


New to cultivation or the shroomery?  Observe the hitchhiker's guide

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery



Smellyhobbit said:
"Wiping a needle with isopropyl after flame sterilization is like shitting after you wipe your ass."

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Mr Piggy] * 5
    #29445382 -

Mr Piggy said:
Fuck yeah.

Now someone tag him.


I’d trust him


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Hitchhikers guide to the Shroomery

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Breadly710] * 6
    #29445384 -

I already predicted this since way back but it's not because I'm a psychic it's because there is no-one more deserving of this. kloakk hasn't been in the game much longer than I have but in the beginning I genuinely thought he's a very experienced member with a new account thanks to his clean and professional setups and the deep knowledge he's sharing:lol:. He still feels like he's miles ahead of me (which he is) and I oftenly ask him for advice still because I know he's going to passionately give me a detailed reply with solid information.

I'd be pissed if anyone else got chosen for this my hat is off to you.:rockon:


Mycket väl förtjänt! Skål på dig!
:leocheers:


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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: SkanskKorv] * 9
    #29445385 -

:noargument:


--------------------
This hobby has taught me many things.
Most of those things are patience.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
The Official Shroomery Cultivation Museum
CakeWars
III

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: Scemilope] * 8
    #29445390 -

It was obvious... and it is well deserved. Congrats.


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Agar Plates and Removing Hidden Contaminants - A Visual Notebook
Recognizing Contamination in Grain Jars - A Visual Notebook
Contaminated Condiment Cup Cleanup v1.0

Green Cap Pheno Isolation

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Re: The Official Noob of the Moment Thread 💥💥[*Kloakk (NOTY) 1/3/26*]💥💥 [Re: DV8DUG] * 6
    #29445419 -

Well deserved Kloakk! What a way to ring in the new year!  Congratulations!


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~Wherever you go in life, there you’ll be~




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