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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Can a relationship last in modern society?
    #2334195 -

I was sitting at home last evening, minding my own buisness, trying to figure out how i was going to spend this valentines day, when one of the women on blind date said something interesting.
"I don't think a relationship can last a lifetime in modern society."
She went on to say some bullshit that failed to support her claim, but it got me thinkin.... Can a relationship last nowadays? Is it possible?

Opinions for and against are welcome and even solicited. happy valentines day to those who have someone to share it with.


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"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #2334215 -

Yes.


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To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Evolving]
    #2334253 -

I agree.


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Viaggio]
    #2334271 -

But why? Other than a faith in humanity.


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #2334417 -

I think it could last, if one finds the right person with whom to spend what has become "eternity" here on earth.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter] * 1
    #2334572 -

You have to be able to accept all the quirks and shortcomings of your partner, NOT ignore them, not hope they will change, not threaten the relationship if they don't change, ACCEPT them. If you cannot accept the other persons quirks or shortcomings, you should not try to force yourselves to be together.

Keep your word or don't give it, always be prepared to forgive, endeavor to always be honest. You have to be friendly and treat your partner with the same respect you would like. Let your partner be the person they want to or have to be, and let them know that you expect the same. Go into a relationship with both eyes open and be up front with the other person about who you are, don't hide things, putting on a facade to impress the other person is only setting them up for future disappointment, and both of you for heartache.

The initial romantic rush of getting to know a new person will fade after time, you must also accept this and base your relationship on more than this. Don't worry about looks (although I was incredibly attracted to my wife when I first met her), you will get used to the other person and you will both age, looks are not a basis for a long term commitment even though they may open the doors for an introduction. I told my wife before we were married that I wanted to be with her when her face was weathered and wrinkled and her back bent from time and I meant it.


--------------------
To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #2334617 -

My parents have been happily married for 23 years. I think that should answer your question.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: silversoul7]
    #2334704 -

MY parents have been happily married for 25 years...
and each of their parents were happily married until each of them passed away, the last one was last august.
i think for someone to really assume relationships cant last nowadays has little to no understanding of other people. if you take away stereotypes and as evolving said accept the quirks and shortcomings that make people unique, basically take all bodies away from people and have souls bond together than love really can conquer all.


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Here comes the sun, do n do do,
Here comes the sun, and I say,
It's alright...

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Evolving]
    #2334741 -

That was incredibley good advice, Evolving  :thumbup:


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #2335657 -

My parents divorced before I was old enough to remember them being together in the first place. I was a year old. I have pretty much no first hand basis to believe a relationship can last a lifteime and yet i believe it.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #2335815 -

Yes, but it requires commitment and work.

I have been married for seven years now and have endured some (extremely) rocky moments.

The main motivator for the type of committment to work through this in our case was a strong commitment to family (we have two young girls). You need to have some strong reasons to work through problems (and boredom).

While I am far from a perfect husband, I have learned the 'art of silence' (lots of 'relationship experts' stress the importance of open discussion of differences... they are mostly single or gay), I let things slide unless it is something REALLY important (sounds real simple, but hard to do sometimes...).


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Shrooms aren't everyone's cup of tea... (Some folks just eat 'em)

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Evolving]
    #2336100 -

I only hope I can live up to those standards.


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Evolving]
    #2336621 -

I just recently wrote an essay on this exact topic. Everything you have said is what I talked about.

The most important thing in ANY relationship is communication. If you can't communicate with the other person, the relationship is bound to fail. You need to respect that other person, trust them, and be honest to them, and to yourself.

I believe it is possible to have a lasting relationship if you are able to communicate, trust, and love unconditionally. No one is perfect, and once you accept that, your relationships with loved ones and friends will improve incredibly.

The quirks and habits of people is part of their character. That's what makes them special.


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I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: sykobish]
    #2336634 -

I've been with my wife for eleven and a half long years and have seen instances for all of the advice listed above.
We both come from very different backgrounds and have opposing spiritual beliefs. It's been a rough ride.
I would love to be able to communicate openly with my wife. However, to do so would cause undo strife and probably leave my two children with divorced parents.
I believe that many (not all)"happy" marriages consist of a balance of dominant and submissive. Needless to say, I am the one that keeps many opinions to myself except for when the subject really means something to me, then it usually still doesn't matter what I think.
I do know several couples that have been through the different life-altering relationship events that I have and now do have an open, honest, happy relationship. I just believe that it is the minority and have a hard time imagining such for myself.
~never give up, never surrender~ ~know when to hold them, know when to fold them~, and all that other cheesy advice that really works for certain situations.
Good luck to all.


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"Do not meddle,
In the affairs of Dragons.
For thou art crunchy,
and tasty with catsup."

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Kttail]
    #2336662 -

I agree that some things shouldn't be said.. for the simple fact that there is no need. Some instances, as you have mentioned, don't necessarily need to be communicated.. But the ability to communicate in general is important.

There are many couples out there that hold too much in.. or are too afraid to say anything. When that happens, things build up and it sits and manifests until another time.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Frog]
    #2336775 -

I think it could last, if one finds the right person...

I think it could last if one becomes the right person...


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: silversoul7]
    #2336779 -

My parents have been happily married for 23 years.

But actually married for 38 years. Do the math.  :lol:


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Evolving]
    #2336787 -

you will get used to the other person and you will both age,
Not in L.A. They have the best plastic surgeons.

I told my wife before we were married that I wanted to be with her when her face was weathered and wrinkled and her back bent from time and I meant it.
*scratches head* So you made her haul bricks in the desert sun?

Seriously folks, evolving, evolvette and the little evolutionaries are a wonderful family and I am honored to have shared time with them!'


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Swami]
    #2336906 -

Swami said:
I think it could last, if one finds the right person...

I think it could last if one becomes the right person...


Well, the right person will have become the right person by the time you have found him/her, unless you're hoping they change after you find him/her!

We're supposed to be "becoming" the right person while we're waiting for the other right person to come along.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Can a relationship last in modern society? [Re: Frog]
    #2337331 -

Frog said:
Well, the right person will have become the right person by the time you have found him/her, unless you're hoping they change after you find him/her!


There is no changing people after the fact.
If you can't accept their flaws, then you shouldn't bother getting involved. You're just setting yourself up for tragedy.

Why is it that women are always trying to change their significant others?
I've seen many relationships end badly because of this mindset.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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