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I need advice desperately
    #25094620 -

My pregnant fiance just left me. She is 4 months pregnant. We had just moved to a new area, and neither of us knows anyone. We moved because of the pregnancy, but also to get away from the hard drugs in my homeown... she started using Heroin during the beginning of our relationship, about a year ago. It Caused major trust issues between us. I have a very addictive personality. You name it, I've binged on it. Even non addictive drugs. Anyway, now, here we are, alone in a new place, all by ourselves. Shes been sober, ive only been smoking and eating shrooms VERY rarely.

She decided to become friends with the pill head girl at her job, getting coke and pills waved in front of her while shes pregnant. Being offered cigarettes while shes pregnant. Everything i dont want in our baby's life.

So yesterday after going to the store, we get home, and she's wanting to go hang out with this girl. I suggested we go inside and relax, and walk inside with the dog. Took the leash off, went out for bags, and saw her in the drivers seat. Long story short we started screaming at each other, and i guess im scary when im mad. She freaks out, called her mom like 500miles away, mom calls the sherrif, and sherrif comes to the home. This was last night. We both agreed everything was okay and he left. This morning, she says she is leaving. Going back home to live with her mom. I started arguing and asking her why and she ran out the door. I call my aunt to ask for advice and as im talking to her the sherrif is back. And theres 2 this time. They come over, ask where she is, and she walks out from behind a bush.

They walk her in the house, and immidiately see two shrooms drying on my heater. Then they see my monotub. And a colonized shoebox waiting to go into fruiting. Then theres 8 cops at my house. They get me to sign this paper giving them permission to search the property. Saying otherwise the sherrifs will babysit me until the one comes back with the warrant.

So they find like 2gs weed stems, .5g weed nug, two shoeboxes, an empty monotub, and 1/4oz mushrooms as well as all my prints.

They left 3 spawn bags, and all my contaminated jars(like 10 of them that ive been nervous to throw away) they were gonna open the contaminated jars, shoulda let them but i told him he'dprobably get real sick and explained why.

They said theyre gonna send someone back with a summons for the weed, and theyre gonna drop the mushrooms b.c. i cooperated with them.

Today is probably the worst day of my life so far. Thankfully im not in jail being charged with a felony right now, but i lost my fiance and my unborn baby, as well as months of effort growing. My fiance took all the money, i was supposed to start a new job today. Im 20 years old.

I need advice because i have nobody to talk to, no support system, and im all alone in the middle of nowhere.

At least she didnt take my dog...

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25094670 -

Theyre probably going to come back and take you to jail

You probably shouldn't have had that shit around with your girl being crazy and pregnant and all that

Now she can leave and do whatever she wants, and noone could tell her shes making the wrong choice

Not what you wanna hear, but you shoulda cleaned house after cops came the first time

Shit sucks bro, but it sounds like she just wants to get high

Should have had her on suboxone or methadone, but hindsight is 20/20

Blows my mind when women will deink, smoke cigs, do hard drugs or whatever when theyre pregnant

Prolly a shitty mother

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: stzacrack]
    #25094681 -

Holy smokes!

They're going to let you walk on the mushrooms???

Must have been some nice cops.


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Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177


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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: impatientguy]
    #25094732 -

I think the cops are either gonna grow them out or eat them themselves, or both... i didnt have any intent of selling them, and i told them i know nobody here and i dont sell anything, have 2 jobs lined up at 55 hours a week... i thought everything was good until it blew up.

They left 1 colonized spawn bag and 2 partially colonized. You think they will be back for me? The man gave me his word that he'd only charge me for the weed... searched everywhere and didn't find evidence that i grow any weed, or use anything else, because i dont. asked me to rat on whoever i buy shit from but i don't know anyone here... i gave him everything they were looking for right up front... he said if they start seeing mushrooms in our area theyre gonna come right to me because nobody around here gets them...

She was clean for 6 months before she got pregnant, and has had her blood taken since she's been seeing the OB...

Yesterday morning life was good and couldn't be better... today it's flipped upside down...

I hope my kid doesnt grow up without me in their life because all ive been doing is trying to give them a good future...

depressed af :/

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25094771 -

Then dont manufacture drugs in your childs home

I know, its a barbaric law, but you know what can happen

And dont think if all you had was a mushroom grow theyd have let you go

Also why trust a cop anyway?

Theyre trained to decieve you, literally trained to lie to you

Idk about your girl thats what you know in your heart, but stop with the drugs

Like the cop said, your place is hot now

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25094778 -

Stay with us man. I understand what it can be like to have everything turn upside down like that.

If you're satisfied you've fully cleaned house, I'd settle down, pour yourself a strong drink, get some sleep, and re-asses all this in the morning.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: stzacrack]
    #25094779 -

I would ditch the grow bags and anything cultivation related for now.

It's not worth having around rn.


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177


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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: impatientguy]
    #25094844 -

I'm getting rid of everything.

Trying to keep it together. Trying real hard. This was my first grow. My first baby. My first real attempt at adulthood. My home is a mess, there's no more food in my fridge. No family to talk to. Nothing to do except wallow.

All my savings are gone. Cant even go to the local park and calm down because i have no gas in my truck. Was supposed to start my new job today.

Half of me wants to blow my brains out, the other half wants a chemically induced coma. Neither is an option.

I've somehow gotta come up with the rent by myself, and idk how im gonna do it...

She wouldn't abort the baby while we had the chance, and now ive been in the mindset that im starting a family...

I guess i should be thanking my stars that im not locked up right now, its just really hard to feel anything... it feels like a huge nightmare.

I've put so much love and strength into these past few months, getting my own place, moving across the country, trying to be a good partner to my woman... now i just feel empty.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25094910 -

I'm sorry man.:sun:

That's tough, why can't you still go to work?


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177


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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: impatientguy]
    #25094946 -

impatientguy said:
I'm sorry man.:sun:

That's tough, why can't you still go to work?


She took my gas money. Maybe i will be able to keep the job, but im doubtful. The police showed up right when i should have been leaving to get to work. It was my first day on the job so they probably wont wanna hear it

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25096301 -

Get some signed paper that they were there at that time. Should help you with the job. Hope you called in ASAP.

Imho the job is most important to you now. For distracting you and making you capable of providing for your family, basically almost an requirement for them to come back.

Ylu should call her mkther and ask what is up. Say that youre sorry for yelling but that you were worried for your childs safety.
Migjt get the mother on your side even!

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #25096305 -

Yku should really get going. Call your boss and apologize, get a bike or money for gas for tomorrow.

And tell her family whats up. She is probably not truthful to them and has told them a different story. You need to correct it.

Why did you move anyway?

I feel like there is more to it than you not wanting her to be friends with druggy chick.
You dont just leave wben youre preggers. Did you fight recently? Stopped fucking? Was she unhappy with moving.?
Sure seems like it.

Find it out. Correct it and get back with her. Tell her not to hide her unhappiness from you ever again because it ruins the relationship, as obvious.

Dont worry about the weed, it went its way and wont be too hard on you.

That new job would be perfeft to get your mind off the thinking and thinking.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25096315 -

thats rough.  On the bright side you are only 20, your life isnt over.



maybe focus on yourself, find something you are passionate about that makes you happy and do it.  If you dont know ask God to show you his will for your life.  As with love and relationships, the tighter you hang on the more the other person wants to leave.  Truely loving someone means giving that person freedom and free will to live their life.  Here's a couple things I learned in my old age..  The one who cares least has the power.  Plus also you cant control what other people do.  Stand inside a hula hoop, that is what you have control over.

All else fails maybe consider joining the military. 



and fuck the pot charge.  Don't worry about that.  This country is so fucking defective.

and dont listen to that person above me.  Do not do anything to anger the mother of your unborn child for God sakes.  DO NOT.  You have no idea how hormones and pregnancy affect a womans mind and feelings.  The best thing for you to do is nothing.  Let her come to you.  Human nature wants what it cant have, focus on you.


--------------------
When telling the truth becomes an act of treason, and society chooses delusion and deception over fundamental reality, you've been invaded and infiltrated by other beings that have now integrated into your country and community.  Bless our reptile overlords who control, harvest, and eat us.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25097864 -

hey man i encourage everyone whos single to pursue a relationship with the truth. once you learn it, youll love it.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Deadfrancis]
    #25098163 -

She left because I'm a scary guy when i start yelling... and although id never hit her she is used to being beaten by her parents... they are also the ones who called the cops from 500 miles away. She is now driving back. (Yes, i know she was there, i know she is coming back.) Her parents are telling her that she cant leave until she has the baby, and that they will have lawyers ready to take my rights away when the baby comes. We both agreed that relationship counseling will probably help us.

Im not really religious, but i have been praying. Alot. I want nothing more than to be a good father.

To give you an idea of why i cant walk or ride a bike, i live 20 mins drive from the closest town.

Also, her parents had shipped a package, with her tax return and a check for 40$, ups says it was destroyed. I've not sent or received anything illegal in the mail, ever. Is it possible that this was an intercept? It was in the next state over, not the one im in. They just asked her psycho parents what they had in the package and they probably acted sketchy or something, but are they raiding mail coming to my home?
Is that legal?

If they said they arent charging me for the shrooms can they come back and arrest me even if there's nothing left in the house?

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25098673 -

To be honest you're either leaving out some vital parts or dealing with seriously damaged goods.

Why would they jump from fine to take your rights away in a split second?
Because you yelled once, to keep your childs mother from associsting with druggies?
Apparantly the parent have been fed lies you urgently need to correct. After all you did nothing wrong besides technically failing at keeping her from hanging out with drug chick.

But the mail incident is most likely unrelated. Just sucks that your emergency check is gone.
Hope you were able to keep the job.

Dont think they will arrest you, they dont want trouble obiously.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914]
    #25098704 -

your story doesn't add up or make sense.  If it doesnt make sense its not true.


you wasted my time and I want a refund of the 5 mintues of my life back while giving you advice.   



here is some high quality advice, I suggest you take it..  Stop. Lying.


--------------------
When telling the truth becomes an act of treason, and society chooses delusion and deception over fundamental reality, you've been invaded and infiltrated by other beings that have now integrated into your country and community.  Bless our reptile overlords who control, harvest, and eat us.

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: sprinkles]
    #25098756 -

sprinkles said:
your story doesn't add up or make sense.  If it doesnt make sense its not true.


you wasted my time and I want a refund of the 5 mintues of my life back while giving you advice.   



here is some high quality advice, I suggest you take it..  Stop. Lying.



I dont know what about my story suggests i am lying... you're being a dick and its really unappreciated... go fuck yourself im not justifying your answer with any sort of gratification. All you had to do was not respond.

I know this is fucking crazy, this is my life. It doesn't even make sense to me. That's why i made this post in the first place because i was looking for help with picking up the pieces.

I dont see a need to lie either here or in real life...

I've never dealt with a pregnant woman before but i assure you all that its not easy.

She has literally drove 12 hours to her parents house, just for them to imidiately start telling her what she can and cant do with her future. And she left at 10pm last night and has been driving back since.

Obviously she isn't a fully rational person. I never said she was. Her parents have hated me from the start. There is alot of history of abuse in her past from her parents. Sexually abused by the brother who still lives in the parents house.

We have both agreed that we need to get counseling. Because there clearly issues here that need to be addressed

I feel like there are very few men my age who are even willing to take on this type of responsibility that i have. I never asked for any of this i just want to give my child something neither of us has had.

There is no mode of communication between me and her parents. All i know is what she has told me herself. There is a mutual dislike probably because both sides are only getting told negatives about each other.

All in all, unless you've been with a pregnant psycho woman who was crazy before all the added hormones, you can only try to imagine what im trying to describe.


I love her and my unborn child more than anything. I need to make this work.

I regret coming here for advice after being called a liar and an attention whore. I guess i should let this thread die and sign out for a long while.

Thanks for the help to the people who have posted it, and  fuck you sprinkles for doubting me, even though your first post was helpful.

I've not slept in over 24 hours. This has been very exhausting. I'm sure this hasnt been the easiest to follow, and im sorry for that

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Ajwuzhere0914] * 1
    #25098907 -

Number one...count your blessings that you didn't get arrested.  That is something you should be supremely thankful about as it would make your situation infinitely worse.  I'm not saying this to rub it in, but in order for you to find a shred of happiness...which is a start.

Sounds like your relationship was at least a little toxic, and it sounds like your significant other has been a bit irresponsible in who she hangs out with and getting back on that slippery slope...which she may very well be tempted to resume once she's back with you. 

However, don't make this about her...make it about you.  Screaming arguments are never good.  Sorry.  Yes, this is a shitty situation but you have the opportunity to come out a better person as a result; potentially a person who has learned some valuable lessons.  Those lessons are your own to decide.  I highly recommend seeking some sort of therapy for yourself and both of you.  Look into betterhelp for yourself as its easy to access from anywhere, multiple modes of contact, and you get to talk to counselors more.  It's also relatively cheap and you can qualify for financial assistance that makes it extremely do-able.  I'd recommend a couples session in-person to address relationship issues.

Quote:
Ajwuzhere0914 said:

I love her and my unborn child more than anything. I need to make this work.

I've not slept in over 24 hours. This has been very exhausting. I'm sure this hasnt been the easiest to follow, and im sorry for that


I am not of the opinion that anyone NEEDS to make any relationship work if it is deteriorating your physical or mental health. 

I'm not saying don't try; however you must realize that if she doesn't put in work you can't keep trying to make the relationship work.  If you start notice the relationship getting too one-sided, and you approach her calmly like an adult, and she still doesn't improve then you need to make a difficult decision.

:2cents:


--------------------
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."

Francois-Marie Arouet

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Re: I need advice desperately [Re: Mr. Bojangles]
    #25099177 -

You need to stay calmer, you're doing it again. People have reasons to do so and understanding them will get you where you want to be rsther than cursing at them.

Sprinkles is right in that you have left out very important information. Seemingly your partner acts extremely irrational and regularly gets through with it. This is bad. Very bad.

I speak from ten years of exoerience with a significsnt other who tends to fulfill the criteria of borderline personality disorder (emotional instability).
Yours seems to go into that direction as well.
Yelling is bad, it shuts these people right down. You need to stay calm and make them see how they are acting nonsensical. You need to carefulky find a way for them to see that they should be ashamed of what they did to you when all you wanted was keep your baby safe.

For this to work to need to never scream again. They are using it against you. They can do all they want in the second you scream at them because they will use it against you.
Make no mistakes and try to reflect her crazy behavior for her to see.

Dont let this slip. Every fit, every abuse she does to you that goes unshamed makes it worse.

Contact her parents and build up a relationship with them. Make them see you are ok and that your gf needs control.
Make them understand.

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