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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 2 months, 12 days
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Re: How do I reach out to my parents? I'm desperate. [Re: mndfreeze]
#3358715 - 11/14/04 02:46 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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All fundie Christians live in an out of touch air-castle. This is based on believing in a faith with no real reason or sense. The religious right espouse freedom and love and charity, and then wage wars and cheer Falujah. Christians live in contradiction without ever trying to understand themselves. Ie., Instead of directly trying to perceive the truths of life and existance for themselves they take words and dimly understood religious concepts and build a barrier. We all want to talk to our parents and wish for the closeness that we crave. But once we become adults, isn't having your own family and doing it yourself more important than trying to change a stagnant and roled relationship which probably will never be satisfying? I think it is. So my advice? Aren't happy with your homelife? Go your way and make your own home. My two cents.
-------------------- ...or something
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: How do I reach out to my parents? I'm desperate. [Re: eve69]
#3360063 - 11/14/04 01:27 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hey guys,
I've decided to open up to my parents about "me" gradually, over time. I will do this by going out of my way by spending lots of time with them, to let them know that I care. Such as, this past weekend I went to a craft faire with my mother, and all she could talk about was how happy she was "that her daughter is doing this with her." Even though I was exhausted by tripping the night before and little sleep, I still had a good time with my mom. We didn't talk about much, just a few things here and there but I figure that it will take time.
I've also strategically realized that my mother is the place to begin if I want to be honest with my parents about my spirituality. My dad is *way* too closed-minded (right now), but I know my mother tells him things that I tell her. Whenever my mom and I are together and having a good time, she acts like a little girl, all giddy and happy to have me there. I also think that there is a secret rebel waiting inside to burst out of her.
For instance, when we went to the same craft faire three years ago together, she really wanted to buy this oversize snowman to put in the front yard for Christmas. She agonized and agonized about it, until I said, "Mom, what's the big deal? It's not that expensive. Just get it if that's what you would really like to have." Then she said, "I know...but it's your father. He doesn't like secular symbols that defile Christmas, you know that."
I rolled my eyes, grinned, and said, "Get it mom. You know that you'll regret it if you don't." She smiled back and said, "You're right," and bought it. Well, we got home, I saw how truly fanatical my dad was. My mom was terrified of even admitting to him that she bought it, even lying to him that she didn't get anything at the faire that was important. When the truth finally came out that she got this snowman, my dad got extremely upset and said some things, hurting my mother's feelings. She went and locked herself in the bedroom and cried. In the end, he let her keep the snowman, but he made her put it on the back porch where nobody could see it.
This year when my mother and I went to the faire, I saw her brazenly buying lots of snowmen. And she seemed to want to talk about controversial topics, to get my opinion on them.
So it seems that my mother will be the most willing to hear my thoughts on "me" when the time comes. I am able to be myself most when I'm around her.
It will be a gradual process. I am tired of hiding who I really am around the people who claim to love me most. I've decided that I will no longer go out of my way around my parents to put on a "fake face," for them. I will be as honest as possible.
thanks for the advice. It really helped.
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: How do I reach out to my parents? I'm desperate. [Re: MOTH]
#3362236 - 11/14/04 10:56 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well my curiosity is just killing me on this.
How is a snowman a "secular symbol that defile[s] Christmas".
A snowman is a symbol of winter, not Christmas. Snowmen have no direct correlation with Christmas at all. Just snow, and men. Do you remember any specific things that your dad said? I'd be really curious to hear them.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: How do I reach out to my parents? I'm desperate. [Re: freddurgan]
#3362505 - 11/15/04 12:39 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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He says that snowmen are used as Christmas symbols by people who reject Christ in their lives. Such as, if they were truly Christians, they would use manager scenes, not snowmen. He thinks that Christmas is exclusively about Christ, and nothing else at all.
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