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tell your jokes here
    #9488902 -

Please I wanna hear jokes. :rockon:


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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9488950 -

So you can steal em?  No way jose.


Alright fine here's one: 

Q: Where did Hitler hide his armies?

A:  In his sleevies!

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9488982 -



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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Newbie]
    #9488983 -

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

i SUCK at jokes

ill try and add some...


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-pEaCeLoVeGoDbLeSs-

"The Downfall of Mankind; is Believing He Has Limitations."

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9488987 -

Why is santa always happy?

-Because he knows where all the naughty girls live :wink:


WHy do girls fake their orgasms?

-because they think we care!

What do female reindeers do after xmas?

They go out and blow a few bucks





This one is GOLD!

--- Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."


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"Life lived in the absence of the psychedelic experience that primordial shamanism is based on is life trivialized, life denied, life enslaved to the ego."

"You teach the world how to treat you, by showing the world how you treat yourself."

A well developed sense of humor is far superior to any religion"

"Everything you could want and could be, you already have and are."

:peace: & :heart:

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: hoopershroomer]
    #9488999 -

:rofl:

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: hoopershroomer]
    #9489002 -

:lol:


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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Virus_with_Shoes]
    #9489041 -

ROTFL :lol: :rofl:


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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9489084 -

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley, one was a salted.


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On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Phychotron]
    #9489111 -

Phychotron said:
Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley, one was a salted.


HAHA! We got ours from the same sketch. :lol:


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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Phychotron]
    #9489119 -

A patron strikes up a conversation with the bartender. He says "you know, I could fuck any woman in this room." the bartender doesn't really believe him but says "oh yeah? whats your secret?" the patron replies "i'm a rapist"


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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Phychotron]
    #9489141 -

Where did it come from? I just heard it a long time ago...


I never wanted to do it at camp... but sometimes a 10 yr old isolated from his parents in the middle of the woods has no other option.



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On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9489175 -

Two muffins are sitting in a oven.

The first muffins turns to the other and says "HOLY SHIT WE'RE IN A OVEN"

The second muffin replies "HOLY SHIT A TAKING MUFFIN"



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"If at first you don't succeed, you're about average."

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Jer]
    #9489183 -



--------------------
On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Phychotron]
    #9489190 -



--------------------
On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Jer]
    #9489210 -

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."


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"If at first you don't succeed, you're about average."

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Jer]
    #9489238 -

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.




Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was stapled to the koala.




Q: Why did the tree fall over?

A: The koala never let go.




Q: Why did the kangaroo die?

A: Because the koala landed on it.


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"If at first you don't succeed, you're about average."

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9489251 -

How do you stop a dead baby from falling down a manhole?


Stick a spear through its head.





Whats red and can't turn around in a corridor?


Baby with a spear through its body.




Whats blue and rolling around on the floor?

Baby in a plastic bag.


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Word to your mom.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Hiei]
    #9489253 -

Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute ?

One washes their crack and sells it again.

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Re: tell your jokes here [Re: Jer]
    #9489285 -

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"


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"If at first you don't succeed, you're about average."

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