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InvisiblelIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Airfox

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 11,123
Loc: Texas
joke thread
    #3824519 - 02/23/05 10:48 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I thought this might be a good idea. We can post funny jokes in this thread. Here's one I thought was pretty funny.

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He could hardly concentrate long enough to answer, but finally he decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's f eet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."

Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old"

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."


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InvisibleTYL3R
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,473
Loc: Chico
Re: joke thread [Re: lIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl]
    #3824526 - 02/23/05 10:50 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

How can you tell if a blonde has used your computer ?

If your joystick is wet.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: joke thread [Re: TYL3R]
    #3824529 - 02/23/05 10:51 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

what do you call a four mexicans in quicksand?

quatro sinko


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleTYL3R
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,473
Loc: Chico
Re: joke thread [Re: kaiowas]
    #3824545 - 02/23/05 10:53 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

:lol:

What does a blonde say after sex ?

Thanks guys !


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: joke thread [Re: TYL3R]
    #3824563 - 02/23/05 10:56 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

how do you make a dead baby float?

take your foot off its head


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleTYL3R
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,473
Loc: Chico
Re: joke thread [Re: kaiowas]
    #3824636 - 02/23/05 11:07 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?


Because her boyfriend was blonde too.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 77,639
Re: joke thread [Re: kaiowas]
    #3824659 - 02/23/05 11:10 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

kaiowas said:
how do you make a dead baby float?






One dead baby, two scoops of ice cream.


--------------------
This will not go undocumented.


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InvisibleMarioNett
Stranger
Registered: 07/22/03
Posts: 354
Re: joke thread [Re: TYL3R]
    #3824705 - 02/23/05 11:16 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. As he's waiting for it he sees a beautiful blonde woman at the end of the bar. The bartender comes back with his beer, and the man says, "Why don't you send the lady a drink and put it on my tab."

The bartender replies, "Don't waste your time buddy, she's a lesbian." The man thinks this over for a second, then says, "Let me buy her a drink anyway."

So the woman gets her drink, and a minute later, the man walks down to the end of the bar, sits down next to her, and asks, "So, what part of Lesbia are you from?"


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Invisiblemantis
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 5,235
Loc: Bunker Alpha, GMC Flag
Re: joke thread *DELETED* [Re: MarioNett]
    #3824911 - 02/23/05 11:56 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by mantis

Reason for deletion: .



--------------------


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OfflineKristiMidocean
fattie whale
Female User Gallery

Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: joke thread [Re: mantis]
    #3824940 - 02/24/05 12:03 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

what kind of bees make milk???










































BOOBIES .... sooo corny I love it :smile:


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:smile: I live for LNC :smile:


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