Home | Community | Message Board
You are not signed in.
Sign In New Account
Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 |  [ show all ]
Tell some Jokes
    #8569582 -

I wanna hear some funny jokes.


--------------------
I was totally :nonono: but now im just like :vaped: and happy

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Tomass]
    #8569598 -

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

thats the only joke i have ever committed to memory.


--------------------
A final message to my favorite online community

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: uber_aj]
    #8570197 -

what do you call a :mushroom2:mushroom:mushroom2: that walks into a bar and buys everyone a drink?





A Fungi....:stoned:


--------------------
***Attention!***


All posts made by this writer must be considered works of fiction and speculative science. There is no connection between the author's reality and the posts made by him.


All state and federal agencies reading this post should disregard it as being of no more relevant data than the average spam email.


***Attention!***

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: soulworksinc]
    #8570222 -

Whos the dead blonde found in the closet?






The 1984 World Champion of hide and seek.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: uber_aj]
    #8570227 -

uber_aj said:
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

thats the only joke i have ever committed to memory.


That's one fuckin' good joke! :lol:

Can't wait to bust that one out!


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #8570256 -

A pirate captain walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. The bartender says to the captain, "Uh...you DO know you have a steering wheel stuck down your pants, right?" The captain looks at him and says "Yar, its drivin me nuts..." lol


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Tomass]
    #8570360 -

Time to get a new fence!

HA!


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #8570400 -

I had the girlfriend with these anal beads, andway she gets me
liquored up and we're fooling around and shit and she talked me
into doing the beads, anyway one by one she stuck them in there
trying to make it comfortable, well we're fucking and I got this
ring hanging out of my ass and she's like tell me when you're
about to come, so we get to that point and she yanks on the ring

string broke, so she's got a couple of finger and all these
beads up my ass and she's digging around and having a hard time
retrieving the beads, she manages to get one and almost gets it
out but it slips, no after about an hour of this I'm getting
pretty tired of it, it's not very pleasing at all, I mean was it
supposed to happen this way?

ok so I finaly decide we'll go to the ER and get these beads
removed, we get there wait a few hours and finally see a
doctard, I explain the problem and  he has a good laugh, he
flips me over and starts looking around and discovers the beads,
takes some little clamp thing and pokes it in my ass, grabs a
bead and starts pilling, well he tugged them out, I'll tell ya
now, it fired me up like a chainsaw and I came like a bobcat


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #8571178 -

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?




A: Homeless...


--------------------
***Attention!***


All posts made by this writer must be considered works of fiction and speculative science. There is no connection between the author's reality and the posts made by him.


All state and federal agencies reading this post should disregard it as being of no more relevant data than the average spam email.


***Attention!***

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: soulworksinc]
    #8571183 -

Late one night a child murderer and a small boy are walking through the woods. The boy looks up at the man and says.....

"Gee mister, these woods are awfully scary this tie of night."

The man looks down at the child and replies.....

"Jesus kid, how the fuck do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: soulworksinc]
    #8571189 -

Three musicians and a drummer walk into a bar... :rimshot:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Srirachi]
    #8571200 -

What do you do when you're being chased by an angry dancing bear?




Play Dead....
:peace:


--------------------
***Attention!***


All posts made by this writer must be considered works of fiction and speculative science. There is no connection between the author's reality and the posts made by him.


All state and federal agencies reading this post should disregard it as being of no more relevant data than the average spam email.


***Attention!***

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: soulworksinc]
    #8571232 -

soulworksinc said:
What do you do when you're being chased by an angry dancing bear?




Play Dead....
:peace:


I was going to say "take a video and put it on youtube.".

Shows how much I know.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Tomass]
    #8571315 -

What's the best way to prevent fishes
from smelling?

Plug their noses!


What Whales spread on their toast?


Jellyfish!

:rofl:

I just ate two popsicles, for the record.:poshdance:


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: The_Bringer]
    #8571354 -

a fireman at work decides to use the three bell alarm system, that he and his firefighter buddies use, at home with his wife.  so he gets home and tells his wife of this new system to be implemented around the house.  he says "bell 1 means get in the bedroom.  bell 2 means take all your clothes off.  bell 3 means get on the bed and have wild sex with me."  the wife agrees and he immediately sounds off all 3 bells.  after about 5 minutes of sex the wife says, "DING DING DING DING DING......BELL 4 BELL 4!!!".  the husband asks, "what is bell 4?".  she says, " ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, YOU AREN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!!!!".

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: The_Bringer]
    #8571356 -

I'm cheating on my wife with this hot little number from the
office, to spend time with her I'd tell my wife I was taking a
hunting trip with the guys, maybe suspicion got the better of
her but this past weekend she insisted that she come along, I
mean WTF, she doesnt hunt of fish, well to throw aside
suspicions I reluctantly agree to let her come.


I start getting everythng ready, pack the truck and the whole
time I hope she's going to bail at the last minute, no luck, she
climbs in the truck and now I have to take her, well we get to
the camp site and set up camp, have a good meal and hit the
sack, the next morning I get up and restart the fire to cook breakfast

the wife comes out of the tent as I'm bent over and starts
getting a little frisky, well who am I to refuse especially when 
her whole idea behind coming was to rekindle a little spark,
anyway while we're playing around she whips out a french tickler
that she picked up at a truck stop we gassed up at, she though
it would be 'fun', so we start going at it like a couple of rabbits

about 15 minutes into our love making I glance up and across the
river I see the biggest deer I'd ever seen in my life, a 12
pointer and it's just standing there next to a large rock
watching us have sex no sooner than I spotted the deer I saw  a
bear on the other side of the rock, also watching us have sex, I
cant believe it, so here I am, deep into my wife watching this
deer and bear watching me have sex

I slowly reach over and grab my gun, I raise it up to get a shot
and my wife nudges me causing me to shoot and hit the rock, well
amazingly enough the bullet hit the rock, split in two and one
half kills the deer the other killed the bear, there's no way I
could be this damned lucky,

I break it off with the wife to go retrieve my trophies on the
other side of the river, so there I am wading across and I'll be
damned if I didnt catch 9 catfish on that french tickler!


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #8571443 -

Heh! :tongue2:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #8571450 -

I had to read that like 9 times before I got it.... that is the funniest shit I have ever heard! :rofl:

Prisoner#1 said:
I'm cheating on my wife with this hot little number from the
office, to spend time with her I'd tell my wife I was taking a
hunting trip with the guys, maybe suspicion got the better of
her but this past weekend she insisted that she come along, I
mean WTF, she doesnt hunt of fish, well to throw aside
suspicions I reluctantly agree to let her come.


I start getting everythng ready, pack the truck and the whole
time I hope she's going to bail at the last minute, no luck, she
climbs in the truck and now I have to take her, well we get to
the camp site and set up camp, have a good meal and hit the
sack, the next morning I get up and restart the fire to cook breakfast

the wife comes out of the tent as I'm bent over and starts
getting a little frisky, well who am I to refuse especially when 
her whole idea behind coming was to rekindle a little spark,
anyway while we're playing around she whips out a french tickler
that she picked up at a truck stop we gassed up at, she though
it would be 'fun', so we start going at it like a couple of rabbits

about 15 minutes into our love making I glance up and across the
river I see the biggest deer I'd ever seen in my life, a 12
pointer and it's just standing there next to a large rock
watching us have sex no sooner than I spotted the deer I saw  a
bear on the other side of the rock, also watching us have sex, I
cant believe it, so here I am, deep into my wife watching this
deer and bear watching me have sex

I slowly reach over and grab my gun, I raise it up to get a shot
and my wife nudges me causing me to shoot and hit the rock, well
amazingly enough the bullet hit the rock, split in two and one
half kills the deer the other killed the bear, there's no way I
could be this damned lucky,

I break it off with the wife to go retrieve my trophies on the
other side of the river, so there I am wading across and I'll be
damned if I didnt catch 9 catfish on that french tickler!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: norml840]
    #8571461 -

(i dont know this joke in it's entire form, just the gist of it)

a young man just turns 18 & wants to lose his virginity.
he goes to a tijuana whore house & they tell
him they only whore available is the oldest
lady there.
"that's fine" he says "i just want to lose my virginity"

so he & the old hag go into the room & proceed to fuck.

the guy winces in pain while the old lady
rides him.

"ouch! is this what sex feels like? this really hurts!"

the old lady stops & says "oh, im sorry, i'll fix it, i'll be right back"

she goes into the bathroom. after a few minutes,
she comes back & proceeds to ride him yet again.

"WOW! this feels REALLY GREAT~!" he says.
"what did you do?"


"oh i just i popped my blisters"


--------------------
:pacman: - - - -  :pill: :mushroom2: :pill2: :mushroom2: :regularshroom: :mushroomgrow: :pill: :pill2: :mushroom2: :poison:

:sun::heart::sun:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
"your avatar is dirty."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Tell some Jokes [Re: 40oz]
    #8571473 -

Okay Prisoner I'm retarded I don't get your joke.  Xplain plz?


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 |  [ show all ]

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Wall: 1 Earnhardt: 0 robbyberto 4,186 2 12/05/07 11:23 PM
by robbyberto
* tell us a joke...
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )		 blissedout 9,128 101 08/11/13 06:04 PM
by hidenseek1
* Can I restart my downstairs computer from my laptop? Newbie 821 13 04/14/08 08:35 PM
by D4NK
* Bad ASS Jokes
( 1 2 3 all )		 encryptor 7,039 51 10/06/08 07:15 PM
by tyrannicalrex
* hahah DWI's are a joke!
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )		 Delyrium 6,260 91 12/02/03 04:57 AM
by boO
* Post your jokes(warning:may be offensive)
( 1 2 3 4 all )		 Spooge 6,074 63 06/13/08 01:57 PM
by Cameron
* dane cook is a joke theif KingOftheThing 1,227 9 03/02/07 03:25 AM
by Koala Koolio
* Post your lame jokes here
( 1 2 3 4 all )		 Plok 5,725 74 01/10/08 01:10 PM
by rexmundi

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
2,189 topic views. 1 members, 387 guests and 176 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2026 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.036 seconds spending 0.012 seconds on 18 queries.