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OfflineSmackshadow
It's Time for Wild Speculation


Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 575
Last seen: 19 days, 14 hours
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: burgerpizza]
    #7856382 - 01/09/08 09:53 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Why do you bury lawyers 12 feet down rather than 6?
Because deep down there nice guys.

The devil goes to a lawyer and says "I can make you rich, get you laid by the hottest models, give you everything you ever wanted, and all I want in return, is your soul, the soul of your wife, and the souls of all of your children"

To which the lawyer replied, "what's the ketch"


--------------------
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
     
~H. L. Mencken~


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Offlineburgerpizza
Stranger


Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 218
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Robo]
    #7856404 - 01/09/08 09:56 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

ohhhh yeah! you know you love it.


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OfflineMaverick
Lover of Earwigs!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 13,437
Loc: Valleys of Willamette Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Tangerines]
    #7856565 - 01/09/08 10:23 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

How does a pirate say Thank You in Japanese? :laugh:

ARRRigato. :smile:


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Maverick]
    #7856577 - 01/09/08 10:24 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"


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Offlineburgerpizza
Stranger


Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 218
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Robo]
    #7856600 - 01/09/08 10:28 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

haha. I like 'em all....I'm a sucker for a lame joke.


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OfflineMaverick
Lover of Earwigs!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 13,437
Loc: Valleys of Willamette Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: burgerpizza]
    #7856770 - 01/09/08 10:56 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Once upon a time there was a very large office building in a very large city. This building had 40 levels: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day the owner of the building decided to get a PA system installed on every level, in case there was ever a fire and everyone in the building needed to be contacted at once. The system was installed on every level: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day, an employee named John was doing some paperwork on the 21st level when he saw the pager for the PA system in his boss's office. He could not resist. He picked up the pager, turned it on, cleared his throat, and told a joke. It was funniest joke anyone in the building had ever heard. They were rolling in the aisles, laughing their heads off. The accountants on level 3 were in tears. The engineers on level 34 were in hysterics. In fact, workers on every level -- level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40 -- could not stop laughing.

He walked out the door of his boss's office, feeling all proud of himself, when who should he run into but his boss. "John, come with me now!" John relunctantly followed his boss back into his office. His boss looked at him with fury in his eyes. "John," he said, "your joke was very disruptive to the workers in this building! Productivity was decreased on level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40! You're fired! Clean out your desk and get out!"

But then his frown softened and he added, "Still, I have to admit, that joke was funny on so many levels."


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InvisibleApollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)
Female User Gallery

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: jewunit]
    #7857326 - 01/10/08 12:28 AM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Cuz they're DYING to get in!

HA~~!!!


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book


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OfflineAzen
Legalize ALL!
Male


Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 309
Loc: Seattle, Wa
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Plok]
    #7857720 - 01/10/08 04:38 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

What time is bedtime in neverland?

When the big hand touches the little hand.


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OfflineAzen
Legalize ALL!
Male


Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 309
Loc: Seattle, Wa
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Plok]
    #7857723 - 01/10/08 04:40 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walkin'!


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Offlinejustin340
Rock Star
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 357
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Azen]
    #7857804 - 01/10/08 06:10 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

i got a necklace for my wife.








it was a good trade.


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Invisiblethoughts
imagining.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
Loc: here.
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Maverick]
    #7858719 - 01/10/08 11:04 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Quote:

DRTMaverick said:
How does a pirate say Thank You in Japanese? :laugh:

ARRRigato. :smile:




ur so azn:haha:


--------------------
I need Jesus.


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Offlinesam420
CertifiedReptilianOverlord
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/14/05
Posts: 3,144
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: thoughts]
    #7858835 - 01/10/08 11:24 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Guy sat in a restaurant waiting on his food.

All of a sudden a duck waddles over to the man with a rose in its beak, gives him the rose and says, "Your eyes shine like sparkling diamonds!"

To which the guy angrily calls over for the waiter...

"Waiter! I asked for AROMATIC duck!!!"

:rofl:


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future


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Invisiblepeepeepottypants
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 1,040
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: Plok]
    #7859182 - 01/10/08 12:23 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

How do you make a dead baby float?

One scoop of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby

How many dead babies fit in a trunk?

17

What did the man say when he walked into a bar?

ouch


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Offlinesam420
CertifiedReptilianOverlord
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/14/05
Posts: 3,144
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #7859356 - 01/10/08 01:03 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

what do you get when you put a baby in a box of knives and kick it down the stairs?






















an erection


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future


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Offlinerexmundi
Stranger

Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 314
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: Post your lame jokes here [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #7859393 - 01/10/08 01:10 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

what has four legs and one arm?
a doberman in a playground

why can't helen keller have kids?
because she's dead

how did helen keller burn her face?
she answered the iron

how did she burn the other side?
they called back

how do helen keller's parents punish her?
leave the plunger in the toilet

what was helen keller's dog named?
giudfhjkldfsah

what's the difference between a corvette and a garbage bag full of dead babies?
I don't have a corvette in my garage

how many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
depends on how hard you throw them

what is 12 inches long, purple, and makes women scream?
crib death

how do you catch a special bunny?
unique up on him

where do you hide a thousand dollars from a native?
in his workboots

why is everyone so nice at the gay bar?
they want to push in your stool

what's the difference between a black person and a tire?
tires don't sing when you put chains on them

why did hitler kill himself?
he got the gas bill

haha I've got more but I've run out of steam


--------------------
"I Love Democracy"
-Emporer Palpatine


Fuck the system.


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