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I for one am glad to see you have cracked...... hard You'll feel like heaven tomorrow and a huge relief. The jig is up and the cat is out of the bag. Everyone knows now without a doubt that Ped is actually a human being just like they are and not reporting to us as a spark of light from Nirvana-ville.

You freed yourself Ped from the false expectations you had of yourself or thought others had of you and that was the only phony thing ever going on-the false expectations. The wisdom you have posted here over the years was always real and it really came from you. That can't be denied.

Get use to this for as long as you keep trying to define yourself as only things like ordained Monk in training, Buddhist Boy, ect. It's too limiting and you are bound to keep cracking under the pressure of it's restrictions. You can be ordained monk, Buddhist boy, AND guy who likes tits beer and Viagra sex sessions.

It's okay, we are making up the rules for ourselves as we go along. Don't let others make you up to be who they say you should be, including Buddha. Make yourself up for yourself. That's what Buddha freed himself to do and the world got a genuine Buddha. He did what felt right for him to do.

You aren't him and trying to be him is bound to lead to failure because you are you and you always will be no matter what you say or do. When you free yourself from the expectations, the world will get a Ped with a Buddhist influence, but a genuine Ped none the less who will feel more or less happy again with himself and life.

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