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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Hollow (poem)
#5372824 - 03/06/06 11:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Bit on the psycho side but this is how I feel.
Fallen angel bathed in vengeance dead of heart and torn apart sinews stretched and hatred etched silver plated darkness Like a seccubus kiss around your neck the chain the pain of no pain standing masked and cold just another heart of gold spent on weed and death Can you smell the meth red chi black chi don't you fuckin see fuck with me and you will die inside my heart bend and fry pentagrams of eyes asunder death of wonder blunted sword on deadened bone nothing left to atone 3rd orb crimson Prodigal son wall warped and dripping on innocent blood I am tripping masked carapace and torn lace Duck this fuckin mace Cover my eyes And another dies Darker then dark Like Pigeon Park Blacker then black The bones crack wrath of the hollow I'll MAKE you swallow
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Dmonikal]
#5373209 - 03/07/06 01:21 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I can relate to some of that. Do you feel yourself vanishing?
Is it possible that you should let go of your powertrip? With this I mean to surrender the illusion of having any control. Desire for power (or experiences which make me believe I am very powerful) tends to make me feel hollow until I desperately acknowledge that the power is not mine to own. I have seen that when in a more surrendered state all I need is given to me when necessary, but when that goes to my head I get severely punished (by my self?) and beaten to a psychological pulp. Then I'm gently lifted up again on love's wing (or something).
red chi black chi don't you fuckin see fuck with me and you will die
Are you of the belief that some of us will have to vanish into oblivion after death? If that is case, wouldn't that be pretty relaxing not to exist at all?
What do you mean when you say black and red chi?
Some of these questions might seem weird, but they relate to my own personal struggles with shadow and your answers will probably tell me alot.
There never was no-one. And this no-one is all the power in the universe. When ego is tangled up in this, it will be burned. Love will burn us pure, leaving the essence shining. This is why hell is heaven. Here we are in heaven, but feeling like we're in hell because the essence of creation (love) is burning us pure. Only those who surrender to hell will open the door to heaven.
The Devil Knows Not Who He Works For.
*puts tinfoil hat back on*
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: dorkus]
#5373249 - 03/07/06 02:01 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Fire and death chi. Also my favourite colors black and red (death and blood). If I ceased to exist I would die happy. Fear of the unknown is man kinds greatest fear. I have been offered great power and I don't want it. I have been refusing to accept it and it is tearing me apart. There are 2 sides in the coming war. I hope that the losers cease to exist rather then suffer. Doubt is the true evil. The more you doubt the weaker you are. I have no desire for power, no desire for money, food, or life itself, or sex. I have been burned alive on the cross of love and swallowed whole in the dark waters of hate. Smashed to pieces and even the pieces smashed. Only in the blessed embrace of fade do I find any comfort. Nothing left to break, nothing left to fear, nothing left to love, nothing left to hate. Hollow.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Dmonikal]
#5373257 - 03/07/06 02:11 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Are you saying our existence outside of physical existence will still be dualistic? Will it in your view be polarized?
Do you fear the unknown? If not, why would you only die happy if you know you ceased to exist? And if you do fear, then how can you be hollow?
Are you seeing a spiritual war coming on?
You say the more you doubt, the weaker you are. Why seek power? Wouldn't it be better to embrace weakness and powerlessness and surrender in trust?
What desire keeps you going? Why do you keep that body alive?
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: dorkus]
#5373752 - 03/07/06 10:30 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hope keeps my body alive. Doubt yourself doubt your beliefs and you will fall. There is a deeper darker nirvana, hollow. The spiritual war has been going on for eons or perhaps as long as time itself. It is the end that is coming. I do not seek power I LOATH power. My third eye is wide open and I can see everything how it really is, as much as I try to sew it shut it still sees. Not much time left. More freedoms and more rights being taken away by the minute. Choose your side, or with worms abide.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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Sclorch
Clyster


Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Dmonikal]
#5373770 - 03/07/06 10:36 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Why does pain always shop at Hot Topic?
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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Cherk
Fashionable


Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Dmonikal]
#5373928 - 03/07/06 11:36 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Dmonikal in all of your posts you mention that you keep having these dark and evil thoughts and this is ultimately what is making you feel the way you do, which from my understanding is a feeling you wish not to have.
You want to feel different? All you have to do is stop having these thoughts, it's as simple as that. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy, these disturbing thoughts you have are nothing more than well greased neural networks, stop your mind from flowing through them and eventually they will shrivel and the path will be diverged to other thoughts. Of course this means that you're going to have to accept that all this satan talk could be completely bogus, which may be hard to do
Your feelings are real, you cannot deny that, but if you cut off the source of these feelings(which IMHO is fairytale nonsense) you will watch the feelings slowly fade away.
It takes work brother, you're not going to completely change over-night. The temptation will always be there to diverge your thoughts down that path, but the more time that passes with you practicing the right therapy the temptation will slowly fade away.
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Cherk]
#5375227 - 03/07/06 05:45 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Problem is I am basically under house arrest right now. The flow changes by the day. I feel ok right now, didn't last night. Takes a long time to banish this shit. Life time of shit so I feel like shit. Can't change my living circumstances atm because the government seized my cash. Can't leave town, have to report back. Innocent of any crime as well. I have no criminal record. If I leave town they will consider it 1 under murder and every cop in the country will be after me. I can't smoke weed so I can't hang out with my friends, else I will be smoking it. My options are skip the country or sit here and take it. I keep getting dragged back to square one over and over. Lost $1500+ to this so far. Life savings. You can walk around robbing people and get released the same day in this town. If they even THINK you are crazy though, your rights go bubye. I am envying meth heads right now. At least they are free. Released into the custody of my parents who sent me there in the first place by talking behind my back to my worker. The ONLY way I can get out of this is by taking every drug they give me for at least a month. If I refuse they will arrest me and inject it. You no longer have the right to refuse treatment. Since jack shit is really known about the human brain it is only their opinion that something is wrong. I got released because there was nothing serious wrong with me and now they are going to MAKE sure, by force feeding me pills. I detest this shit intensely. I do not like having my rights taken away for no fucking reason other then some one elses opinion. I have perfect credit I HAD a job before this, I had money. Every single thing I have worked for in the last 6 months has been taken away and I am actually in the hole money wise because I cannot pay my fucking rent or my fucking bills and it is getting deeper every day.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: Hollow (poem) [Re: Dmonikal]
#5375308 - 03/07/06 06:05 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I keep going on about this shit, because that is how easy democracy is taken away. If you do not hang on to your rights you will be enslaved. It is ever oh so serious an issue. You no longer have the right to refuse treatment. This is much worse then the US anti-terrorism law. Funny how it slipped right by the media huh?
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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