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Invisibledorkus
don't look back
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Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
when you're a stranger
    #3713583 - 02/01/05 03:02 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

awww... shit. it is back again.

I have this strange feeling rooted deep in my stomach. It tells me time is running out. I need to "push the button" NOW. Where is this button?

It feels like someone is mindfucking me all the time. Earlier today I wondered whether my mission was to jump from a cliff just to prove the illusion to myself.

Sometimes when I get the notion that everyone around me is enlightened, I feel they are urging me to let go let go let go, and find an inner portal leading out of this material realm into the next level of bliss. But in meditation when visions occur, maybe moons or planets, I lose focus. It is like being pre-programmed to only get this far, but no further.

Speculating on reality being subjective, leads me into terrible feelings of guilt and despair. If the world at large is a projection of ones own mind, all peoples problems and bad behaviour projections of inner unresolved personal issues, I have a problem.

Red said I was "ernestly awakening" and suddenly I got the feeling he meant ernest'ly as in awakening, but being a fool and not realizing it myself. That this was what it was all about, but me being too dumb to realize.

Maybe ? should stop listening to the radio at work. Have you heard the underlying current theme in all songs these times? "i made us all and its me to decide who'll stay and who'll be left behind."

I feel like a computer, creating the space surrounding me. But the space is very limited, and the only space which exist is around me. When I move, the space changes. When I interact with people, I interact with myself. Those times I really feel this to be true, I think, "now what?" What more is there to do here? Why go on?

Sorry for bringing these bad vibes back into the forum, but sometimes I need to let it out


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Offlinefreddurgan
Techgnostic
Male

Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
Re: when you're a stranger [Re: dorkus]
    #3713633 - 02/01/05 03:09 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Well the one thing that stood out from that post was

"Sometimes when I get the notion that everyone around me is enlightened, I feel they are urging me to let go let go let go, and find an inner portal leading out of this material realm into the next level of bliss."

What the hell? Everybody around you isn't enlightened. That's just crap, and it sounds like mad paranoia. Just relax, you're on the same "level" as everyone else.

You sound like you're in a rush.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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OfflineZekebomb
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Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 1,164
Loc: BC province
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: when you're a stranger [Re: dorkus]
    #3713794 - 02/01/05 03:42 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

I get that feeling too, that everyone else is onto something that I'm not. or in on something. it's kinda creepy. or that everyone else can read my mind, and they all have this inside joke about me, laughing behind their hands, the bastards!


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Invisibledorkus
don't look back
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Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
Re: when you're a stranger [Re: Zekebomb]
    #3713976 - 02/01/05 05:12 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

zeke: that is exactly what it feels like  :blush:

But I feel better now. Seems to be an occasional outburst of panic anxiety. Then again I am not sure what to think  :confused:


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Invisibledorkus
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...the thief he kindly spoke.... [Re: dorkus]
    #3714221 - 02/01/05 06:22 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Maybe you guys shouldn't reply to this post. Just let it sink.

I am afraid that making these kinda worried posts is a form of energy theft? Then again I don't know if such things are possible.

peace


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 19,980
Re: ...the thief he kindly spoke.... [Re: dorkus]
    #3714314 - 02/01/05 06:39 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

this is youthful energy stuff,

it has a bit of a rough edge with to the fullness of it but you can do fine.

the older ones are more sedate naturally. but it is the same life energy, the younger ones have a much wider bandwidth but it is harder to seem to keep afloat.

it's OK. it has lots of real rich potential.
watch everything and be gentle with yourself
just make sure you get good sleeps and eat well.


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Offlinegnrm23
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Registered: 08/30/99
Posts: 6,481
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
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Re: ...if i knew the way... [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3718785 - 02/02/05 01:36 PM (12 years, 22 days ago)

i have heard that the big red button is labeled:

RESET








ymmv...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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Offlineexclusive58
illegal alien

Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2,146
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: ...if i knew the way... [Re: gnrm23]
    #3719288 - 02/02/05 03:46 PM (12 years, 22 days ago)

"Sometimes when I get the notion that everyone around me is enlightened"

Are you serious? It must feel great to feel that everyone's enlightened, personally i usually get that lousy feeling that everyone around me is ignorant...


Oh, and as an advice, i think you should try meditating.


--------------------


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