Auto-SummaryA person recounts a vivid dream in which he encounters a mysterious figure who tells him, "you are God," challenging his long-held beliefs and prompting a deep internal conflict. The dream takes a dramatic turn when he, overwhelmed by self-doubt and a sense of unworthiness, disrupts the spiritual ascent he was experiencing, leading to a terrifying transformation into a "lake of fire." The dream serves as a metaphor for his struggle with self-judgment and guilt, reflecting his inner turmoil and the impact of his negative self-perception. He connects his experience to Buddhist teachings, particularly those of Ajahn Brahm, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, restraint, and the virtue of shame in maintaining inner purity. The narrative highlights his realization that self-criticism can sabotage spiritual progress and his hope to one day achieve a more balanced and compassionate self-view.
About a week and a half ago more/less.
I had a vivid dream involving being at the home I grew up in, also I'm pretty sure the video on YouTube I fell asleep to was mixing in my dream as I listened to what was philosophical insights that I was interested in sharing with the other people I saw in the dream, I think they were Stoicism teachings.
At some point in the dream I meet up with this old guy in tattered robes, I don't think he identified himself as a sage, yogi or saint, but the way he communicated and interacted with me, it seemed he was something special, than he made it clear to me with assertive, direct and candid expression, he said "you are God", and I was confused for that would be heresy or blasphemy where I came from in my youth and the way I was raised, though as I got older and after years of searching and expanding my views, beliefs and understanding of what and who I am and what and who you all are, I am more inclined to think the "I", "me" and "mine" has to be let go of, the "self" fading away and disappearing, cessation of identity. That is, for God to make his face shine upon us and be visible to the world or to me or to anyone of us...anyways, my memory is kind of sketchy but I think that man of wisdom, I'm pretty sure he repeated again to me "you are God". And even a third time he insisted "you are God" to me.
Interesting, mind-blowing, awe and wonder, didn't reject him or his statement, nor did I understand it and embrace it, I have a naive comprehension of certain views, beliefs and attitudes that something along the lines that we are God's children, like the old testament phrase "God's unto god's" in God's narrative in and of describing us as his special creation made in his image and likeness as in the book of Psalms and Genesis.
I normally fall asleep to a Buddhist monk named Ajahn Brahm who resides over in Australia (I've listened to practically all his talks multiple times over the past years and decades as I fall asleep most every night! And had guess appearance by him in beautiful and significant interacting dream moments in the past.)
There was some strange, only could happen in a dream type shit going on, I can't remember much of the wild other stuff that happened, so I'll jump to the end, the part that seems to be most significant. I'm coming outside of my old house into the yard and was engulfed with a nostalgic sight and atmosphere that charmed and put me to tender-wonder-serenity gazing up the tall trees of the woods across the street from my house and into the sky of my front yard. I was aware of and quickly sensing that God or Jesus or the Divine was going to make his appearance and likely express something important to me. So I surprisingly was open and welcoming to this vision, but could feel my body shake with apprehension and anticipating awe. Bright white light engulfed me and I was floated up into the sky, but all I could see was bright white light like I was embracing a cloud, I think I heard a voice saying "you are God", or the man's conversation echoed in my head and reverberated several times and than I made a big mistake and blurted out by saying "I'm not worthy!" And "I'm a horrible sinner, I'm not a good person, I don't deserve this, I'm a dirty waste" etc the angels carrying me must have heard me self-deprecating myself and took me seriously, the secure, comfortable white light/cloud I was riding up on now stood at a stand-still and gradually or a large portion of the light became red and darker. And lost it now became of my security, now this ride to heaven is uncomfortable with its sudden option number 2 seemingly which is a lake of fire! I stayed floating in a red lighted large cloud I'll fairly call in limbo I think is the word and with more bad actions and failures following me from the past making me sweat buckets and it was me who turned this triumph, glory, success ⁶and victory ride to heaven as it started out on upwards into something else by being so hard and degrading on myself. I than woke up from my sleep, halfway to heaven, halfway to hell,.. I'll get it right someday.
I beat myself up too much and fear judgement day with zeal and a passion. But I ruined my glorious dream of entering heaven
But both the main fact and the main moral of the story is just like Ajahn Brahm teaches on occasion that someone or anyone who dies with guilt for thinking bad thoughts and or speaking bad words and or doing bad actions, your guilt follows you and everyone really, eventually feels guilty for their crimes, offences or sins.
I understand their is a shame that is encouraged and benefits a person, the positive virtue of shame which keeps one pure and Innocent, maintaining a peacefulness and holiness by way of regular friendly admonishing you or instructing you or restraining you from what is wrong
embrace the virtue of shame, keep cleanliness of body, speech and mind and limit yourself by guarding and restraining the 6 kinds of contact, do not grasp at the signs and features of the 6 kinds of contact and thereby avoid evil Unwholesome states of covetous and grief keep it clean and positive from what the 6 external bases of contact come into contact with 6 internal bases of contact and in accord or harmony is the triggering of the 6 bases of consciousnesses and the meeting of the 3 sets of 6 is contact
Ok I'm crashing let's try to get some sleep now. 
--------------------
"He who finds peace and joy
And radiance within himself
That man becomes one with God
And vanishes into God's bliss."
-Bhagavad Gita, 5.24
One 21 - Building Better Bombs
One 21 - Pacified
One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine
"Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
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