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Cracked Egg
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/20
Posts: 1,669
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months

I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

#27293433 - 05/04/21 08:27 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

It doesn't happen often, but I'll go to wipe and it just never ends. Like, I'm done. I know I'm done, but no matter what, there's always the faintest little streak.

I feel like my butt sits there all day smelling ass and eventually becomes fed up and reaches a boiling point.

You know what!? Fuck this guy. Next time he takes a shit I'm going to continue to leave a tiny streak on the toilet paper.

He then does this non stop. I picture him sitting there with a big old grin with his finger and flicks the paper..

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People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

Extras:

christopera
Stranger

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 22,465
Last seen: 4 minutes, 42 seconds

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Cracked Egg]
#27293438 - 05/04/21 08:31 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Get a bidet.

--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

Extras:

Nifflerz
SUP

Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 67,126
Loc: HOLLYWOOD HILLS

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: christopera]
#27293445 - 05/04/21 08:40 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Y'all wanna do some butt stuff?

--------------------
:niffla:

:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

Extras:

christopera
Stranger

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 22,465
Last seen: 4 minutes, 42 seconds

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

1
#27293448 - 05/04/21 08:42 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

Extras:

stubb
Dahg Rastubfari

Registered: 03/23/19
Posts: 1,708
Loc: Memory

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: christopera]
#27293450 - 05/04/21 08:44 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

christopera said:

Get a bidet.

:whathesaid:

America needs to jump on that bandwagon, bidets are fucking awesome. Cheap, easy to install, renter friendly, and the ladies love 'em.

--------------------

Extras:

Nifflerz
SUP

Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 67,126
Loc: HOLLYWOOD HILLS

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: christopera]
#27293452 - 05/04/21 08:45 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

christopera said:

:whacker:

--------------------
:niffla:

:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

Extras:

christopera
Stranger

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 22,465
Last seen: 4 minutes, 42 seconds

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: stubb]

1
#27293453 - 05/04/21 08:45 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

My wife hates our bidet, says it gets her all wet. I am totally jealous.

--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

Extras:

Nifflerz
SUP

Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 67,126
Loc: HOLLYWOOD HILLS

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: christopera]
#27293456 - 05/04/21 08:47 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

christopera said:

My wife hates our bidet, says it gets her all wet.

:whacker:

--------------------
:niffla:

:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

Extras:

christopera
Stranger

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 22,465
Last seen: 4 minutes, 42 seconds

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Nifflerz]
#27293459 - 05/04/21 08:49 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Hey, the only person that masturbates to my wife is me. Also all the people on her onlyfans.

--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

Extras:

Nifflerz
SUP

Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 67,126
Loc: HOLLYWOOD HILLS

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: christopera]
#27293496 - 05/04/21 09:27 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

christopera said:

Hey, the only person that masturbates to my wife is me. Also all the people on her onlyfans.

--------------------
:niffla:

:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

Extras:

larry.fisherman
shoulda died already

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,327

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Cracked Egg]

1
#27293516 - 05/04/21 09:49 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

How is it possible that it's never clean? Like, you're not supposed to shove your finger up your ass when you're wiping. I get the allure, it's dirty in there. But shoving tp up your taint isn't making your crack cleaner it just means you're gay

Extras:

Cracked Egg
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/20
Posts: 1,669
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: larry.fisherman]
#27293525 - 05/04/21 09:54 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

I mean, it does a little bit

--------------------
People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

Extras:

ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,039
Loc: Themyscira

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: larry.fisherman]
#27293537 - 05/04/21 10:05 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Everyone’s pucker hole has wrinkles and folds that can create little poop reservoirs. Sometimes you get, like, baby food shits. Like you didn’t have enough fiber that day or maybe you have intestinal problems. I understand OPs pain about wiping until your anus almost chaps and still having the poop streak.

I am all about that bidet life.

--------------------

:nyan:

<-- Clicky Clicky

Extras:

flugelizor
Furious ball of nothing

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,671
Loc: Western NY
Last seen: 5 hours, 35 minutes

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
#27293564 - 05/04/21 10:42 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Extras:

Cracked Egg
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/20
Posts: 1,669
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: flugelizor]
#27293601 - 05/04/21 11:14 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

I'm a wipey guy

--------------------
People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

Extras:

Cracked Egg
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/20
Posts: 1,669
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: flugelizor]
#27293605 - 05/04/21 11:14 AM (5 years, 5 months ago)

flugelizor said:

:lolsy:

--------------------
People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

Extras:

Texas Honey Badger
#1 Pillow Fluffing Moderator

Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 97,621
Loc: Spicemaster Texas

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Nifflerz]
#27294121 - 05/04/21 04:35 PM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Niffla said:

christopera said:

You sick basturd
:batlol:

:batlol:

--------------------

Some call me Paw 🐾
When I get pulled over they ask for my autograph ✍️

Extras:

Nifflerz
SUP

Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 67,126
Loc: HOLLYWOOD HILLS

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Texas Honey Badger]
#27294128 - 05/04/21 04:36 PM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Texas Honey Badger said:

Niffla said:

christopera said:

You sick basturd

:guiltyascharged:

--------------------
:niffla:

:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

Extras:

christopera
Stranger

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 22,465
Last seen: 4 minutes, 42 seconds

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Nifflerz]
#27294139 - 05/04/21 04:44 PM (5 years, 5 months ago)

--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

Extras:

Eggtimer
HotSauce Lover

Registered: 05/05/13
Posts: 3,103
Last seen: 7 months, 14 days

Re: I swear my ass (butt) plays jokes on me

[Re: Cracked Egg]
#27294419 - 05/04/21 08:01 PM (5 years, 5 months ago)

Pics from OPs bathroom.
Yo heads up don't do a image search for anal fistulas and keep scrolling because it just gets worse. :uhoh:

:uhoh:

Be careful about spending too much time on the shitter might get a fistula.

--------------------
It's all for the :lol:

:lol:

s

Extras:

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