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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,297
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: tyrannicalrex] 8
#26566591 - 03/30/20 06:08 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante] 3
#26566607 - 03/30/20 06:26 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,297
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Tantrika] 6
#26566613 - 03/30/20 06:35 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,297
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante] 10
#26566632 - 03/30/20 06:47 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,297
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante] 1
#26567173 - 03/30/20 12:29 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Primal Glitch
literally just vibing
Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 4,855
Loc: 🌎
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Asante] 5
#26567493 - 03/30/20 02:42 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- make the changa you wish to see in the world gnome sayin'?
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,838
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 seconds
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Primal Glitch] 3
#26567550 - 03/30/20 03:10 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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ChRnZN
Din of Doom
Registered: 12/21/08
Posts: 6,265
Loc: ADK
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 3
#26567751 - 03/30/20 04:54 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Via Ryannabeast
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Oscuro_lobo] 2
#26568064 - 03/30/20 08:07 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper
Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,400
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 13 hours, 50 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Tantrika] 2
#26568194 - 03/30/20 09:50 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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https://thehardtimes.net/culture/report-78-of-american-corporations-living-stimulus-to-stimulus/
Report: 78% of American Corporations Living Stimulus to Stimulus
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of Commerce issued a concerning report this morning, finding that 78% of American corporations are barely scraping by and living stimulus to stimulus, sources laying naked atop a tiger pelt confirmed.
“It’s dire straits for hard-working legal entities in America, with many businesses struggling to dole out even a cool million in fun money to execs like me,” commented Royal Caribbean’s CEO Richard Fain while holding back tears as he opened a safe hidden behind a painting that was only half full of gold and ivory. “Corporations have already done everything we can to cut operating expenses — we slashed health benefits, reinvested our employees’ 401k accounts into stock buyback plans for our board members, and it’s still not enough. Hell, American Airlines euthanized half their flight crew, but Uncle Sam just pulls his purse strings tighter, sliding us mere single-digit billions: proof the federal government doesn’t give two shits about struggling Ltd’s. We have sharks and huge tanks to buy, damn it!”
Rep. Michael McCaul held a press conference to address legislation he introduced to help executives affected by the economic downturn.
“It’s a crying shame that we’re failing the corporations of this country by wasting millions on paid sick leave that people will just abuse by smoking Schedule-1 marijuana and shirking their economic responsibilities. Corporations are people, too, and since Coca-Cola can’t take a day off, neither should anyone else,” said McCaul, pulling out a binder containing his stimulus bill. “What I’m proposing is a modest $10B for each corporation whose founder doesn’t yet own an island, and a $40B slush fund for cabal meetings on the islands they’ll purchase to stimulate the economy.”
Patrick Crain, one of many jobless after Marriott International’s recent wave of layoffs, was enraged by the bill.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” said Crain, covered in rashes. “I am literally considering sucking dick for money, and, at this point, someone to talk to. I’ve been hiding in my studio apartment from the plague, and Congress tells me to get in line behind Exxon? Fuck me.”
At press time, the 22% of American corporations that remain relatively unaffected by the global coronavirus pandemic issued a statement to the IRS in the form of a bomb threat that they will continue to not pay taxes.
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Northerner
splelling chceker
Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,515
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 1 hour, 19 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: morrowasted] 6
#26568231 - 03/30/20 10:23 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Oscuro_lobo] 4
#26569252 - 03/31/20 02:28 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ
Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 11 months, 13 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Tantrika] 3
#26570052 - 03/31/20 09:17 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Must bring balance to the thread
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: WScott] 4
#26570055 - 03/31/20 09:21 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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viraldrome
Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,150
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 6 hours, 45 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Tantrika] 5
#26570198 - 03/31/20 11:26 PM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Homeschooling sounds like a nightmare
-------------------- Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD
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BooShow
Spooky
Registered: 03/05/20
Posts: 884
Loc: Sunshine Province, Canada
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: viraldrome] 1
#26570287 - 04/01/20 01:27 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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You guys are fucking hilarious.
-------------------- You are what is. That's all.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,838
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 seconds
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: Oscuro_lobo] 3
#26570322 - 04/01/20 02:48 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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Happy April Fools Day!
COVID-Zombies:
Bada-Bing:
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#26570601 - 04/01/20 08:01 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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The cannibals one and the LC ones are mint!
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feevers
Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,595
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: tyrannicalrex] 3
#26570604 - 04/01/20 08:05 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 7 [Re: feevers] 1
#26570795 - 04/01/20 09:55 AM (3 years, 11 months ago) |
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I loled at these at first but then felt bad and now here I am
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