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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984483 -

YouEnjoyMyself said:
ouch- your picture in your signature is awesome!!  i always love looking at that.


that's why it's in their, thanks for commenting, I gave gumby 5 shrooms for his avatar, I crack up everytime i see that, which is alot... even when i'm sober.. which isn't alot :smirk:


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If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984487 -

yem always has the most sexy parties :laugh:


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: notapillow]
    #2984489 -

yem brings the sexy to the party

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984530 -

haha, you make me feel so much cooler then i am!! haha.

Haha, this next story scared the SHIT out of me at the time.

me and my girlfriend (we did lots of stupid sexual stuff, you could say pretty experimental) were coming back to my dads house. No one was home and i knew they would be gone for a while longer. So we were chillin outside for a minute having a cigerette. We see a tent in my backyard, and we at the same time were like "wanna go in there" hinting at sex, and so we did, and we had sex, good sex too. But RIGHT as i pull out, i hear little foot steps pitter pattering down the driveway. First thing in my head "ooohhhhh shit". My girlfriend was all scared and is scrambling to get her clothes on. She rustles around the tent and my little brother screams kinda. And my step mom walks 10 feet away from the tent and my little brother says, "Somebodys in the tent!!" and she has her shirt on and is getting her pants on, i'm slowly/quitely pulling my pants up. And, THANK GOD!, my step mom says, "ohh, no body's in there, it was probably the wind". That was SUCH a relief, cause being the hard ass family they are, it would have sucked getting caught. Anyways they walk to the front yard and we get out of the tent and take off through my backyard and cut through a yard and went back to her house to hang out. It was quite an adrenaline rush, those are always fun, unless you get caught and are in trouble.


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-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984537 -

I'd post a story about a crazy sexual experience, but i told my self i wouldnt in this thread. :shrug:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984547 -

On my worst car ride I got explosive diareah (sp) from drinking budweiser for three days strait and swallowing river water.

We had to pull over so I could take a heinous shit off in some tick infested reeds.

I squatted above a natural ditch and let out some squirt. I used my underwear for whipes; ditching them at the scene.

I hope mushrooms grew on that pile of shitsqirt.
Either that or some fool savaged my mud boxers.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: MAGnum]
    #2984563 -

:lol:

funky- do tell.




this happened to my brother.

he was at a YMCA and had to shit REAL bad.  SO he takes a dump, it's a single stall bathrom.  He had explosive diareah too, and let it rip, he then noticed that there was no toilet paper, and no extra rolls, and no paper towels or anything outside of the stall.  And so he uses his boxers to wipe his butt.  As he is doing this, a guy walks in the bathroom waiting for the stall.  So he flushes and the boxers don't go down so there is nasty ass shit and boxers in the toilet, so he just opened the stall and ran out of the bathroom.  It was really funny.







that reminded me of a funny story of me.

i was at a country club and i had to take massive shit, so i did, and i flush the toilet and it clogs and the water is rising and i was like ah whatever and left.  (me and my brother were in the bathroom at the same time, we would always go at the same time to goof around in the bathroom, i was only like 12 or 13 at the time) and as im walking out of the bathroom you hear water splashing alll over the ground.  20 minutes later my brother walks into the lobby and water is coming out of the bathroom, and there are people in the bathroom (wearing boots) trying to fix the toilet.  And my brother came back and was like "theres water coming out of the bathroom" and my dad looked at us cause he knew it had to of been one of us, and we denied it and i later confessed...later as in a few monthes.  But long story short, my shit water ended up in the lobby of a country club :smile:


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-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984569 -

funkymonk said:
I'd post a story about a crazy sexual experience, but i told my self i wouldnt in this thread. :shrug:


then quit reading it.


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984572 -

I like yems stories

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984588 -

dude, if you knew me personally, i'm ALWAYS telling stories. I'm gonna be one hell of a story telling grandpa or something. Something always reminds me of something in my life and i start telling the story, and then something in that story will remind me of something else and i will start another story and it keeps happening, and most of the time i never finsih any of the storys and end up forgeting some of the original ones cause i get so far down the line. I guess it sounds obnoxious but it's not cause people are usually laughing cause it's most of the time funny stuff. This one girl whom i kinda like (she's 2 years younger then me and has an older brother my age whom i've had classes with, and i was watching a movie with her on her couch and her brother walked in and was suprised to see me with her and it was really awkward cause i was buddies with him and we did a few projects together for some classes. And i'm honestly kind of "scared", not scared scared but like i feel really weird being with his little sister cause i sure as hell wouldn't want a buddy from school chillin with my little sister and shit all close on a couch and shit...idk, its weird, and im sidetracking myself) and she loves how i have all these weird stories, which is cool cause she lieks me for it, but yeah, i don't know what point im getting at so i have to stp myself.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984591 -

I do the same thing about memories bringing up a story. But for some reason they don't seem funny to me when I type them.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984593 -

ok, here's a story for u

one time when i was like 12 i was bowling with my cousins, and it was my turn, and i was like AUSTIN! (my cousin) bowl for me, i gotta pee ( i was like.. 12 or something, so i was embarassed about takin a shit, or something-i dont rememba) and long story short I shit all over myself as i was sitting down, and it was like half in my short and half all over the wall, which i didn't know until the guy who came in after said, SON, how do u SHIT ON THE WALL?
it was obviously, very high powered diarrhea that i'd been holding in for about 3 minutes too long...and it wasn't like BAM all over the wall, but it was mos def on the wall, and I had to ditch my (whitey tighties) [.. i was 12...] in the trash can, but when i tossed them in there, the little door on it didn't open, and i didn't want to touch them and push them in, so i just left them hanging out... and they dripped all over the floor and stuff, it was gross, then i went back and was like Austin... (i thought he was the shit cuz he was like 17...) u know how that is..., and i was like, austin, i did a bad thing, go look at the bathroom, i didn't wanna tell my parent's, i thought he was god @ the time, i KNEW he'd take care of it, he came back and acted all mad at first then like 5 minutes later when we got away from my parents, and got some fries he was like

Dude, u got it on the wall! and gave me a high five, lol.


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984600 -

YouEnjoyMyself said:
dude, if you knew me personally, i'm ALWAYS telling stories. I'm gonna be one hell of a story telling grandpa or something. Something always reminds me of something in my life and i start telling the story, and then something in that story will remind me of something else and i will start another story and it keeps happening, and most of the time i never finsih any of the storys and end up forgeting some of the original ones cause i get so far down the line. I guess it sounds obnoxious but it's not cause people are usually laughing cause it's most of the time funny stuff. This one girl whom i kinda like (she's 2 years younger then me and has an older brother my age whom i've had classes with, and i was watching a movie with her on her couch and her brother walked in and was suprised to see me with her and it was really awkward cause i was buddies with him and we did a few projects together for some classes. And i'm honestly kind of "scared", not scared scared but like i feel really weird being with his little sister cause i sure as hell wouldn't want a buddy from school chillin with my little sister and shit all close on a couch and shit...idk, its weird, and im sidetracking myself) and she loves how i have all these weird stories, which is cool cause she lieks me for it, but yeah, i don't know what point im getting at so i have to stp myself.


so, kinda like u just did, u just did? =]


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984615 -

GREAT STORY!!!!!!!

i actually laughed out loud.


that reminds me of an explosive diareah story of mine.

i was at my friends hosue for a few days (he lives like 50 minutes from me) and i had to take a massive dump so i let it rip. It rockets into the toilet and splashes ALL over. It's all on my ass and shit. So i have to do like full wipage on my ass to get it all clean. And then he goes in there to piss right after i finish shitting, first he comments on the smell and then he lifts up the lid and there was diareah splashes all over the bottom of the seat and he was totally disgusted but at the same time laughing his ass off saying i musta taken a massive shit. And i looked at the seat and there was shit stains all over the bottom of it and i cleaned it for him. It was so funny though. I wish i could realive that moment.


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-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984618 -

hahaha


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984644 -

=] i like u yem.. are u just a pub postwhore or do you actually hunt/cultivate =} and/or contribue to the hunting/cultivation forums
i do all =}


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984941 -

once when i was a little kid my mom was taking me to see my dad curl at some place and it was halfway across town and we were almost there and i had this big fart and got shit in my pants so we had to drive home and get me cleaned up and then started driving back again. right around the same place, we're almost there and the same thing happens.

we pretty much missed the whole game

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985137 -

this is a good thread, I'm laughing my ass off right now


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Passion destroyed is reborn in the passion for destruction...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985664 -

OMG boys are so gross! And funny!

Once when i was 16, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (it was probably only the 3rd time or so, ever) and he was pushing my head down and I gagged and puked all over his lap.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985694 -

When I was about 13 I was at my buddies house with a bunch of other friends playing quarters in the garage. There was this one kid who would roll the quarter off his nose and never miss. So we all got REALLY plastered from this guy. So we start doing really stupid stuff like drawing pictures on our shirts with lighter fluid and then lighting them on fire.

When we finally turn in, my buddy Dan is in pretty bad shape. First he gets up and pukes all over the bathroom. My buddies older brother (who wasn't part of the party) gets up in the middle of the night to take a leak and slips in the puke. Later Dan has to take a leak so he heads down the hallway (still completely drunk) and makes a wrong turn. He walks into my buddies PARENTS room...whips it out...and starts pissing all over thier night stand and everything sitting on top of it (pictures, phone, etc.). The mom wakes up and yells, "What the fuck are you doing!" Dan looks at her and says "Oh, I'm sorry" zips up and walks out.

Of course he didn't remember any of it.


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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