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Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences
    #2984316 -

This is another post of mine, that i figure will explode...

name some of the/your:

:smirk:Funniest things one of your friends/you've ever heard/said (not a quote from a joke site, not the president, PERSONAL experience)

:smirk:Worst sexual experiences

:smirk:Best sexual experiences

:smirk:Worst/best mushroom experience

:smirk:Worst car ride

:smirk:Worst/best other drug experience

things of this nature, i'll edit my original post to include more topics later or

:smirk:ADD YOUR OWN entertaining topic!


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984344 -

OuchITripped said:
This is another post of mine, that i figure will explode...


You covered pretty much any and every topic. ever. I can't see your thread doing anything BUT explode

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984370 -

it's too much for me. i thnk i'll skip this one.


--------------------
Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984372 -

um...my ex girlfriend let me give her a facial once. I joked around with it a few times like "you should let me" but saying it jokingly and not serious about it and she knew, but one day she was giving me a bj and was like "wanna give me a facial" and i was like alright and so i did and it was all over her face and it was SOO funny looking. It got in her eyelashes and shit, it was such a funny site...and her skin got dried out.


i have lots of weird/funny/stupid/etc. sex stories but i don't wanna type.

And i've typed my worst car ride ever story so many times and it's long that i just don't want to.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: felix]
    #2984374 -

It seem's like there could be 6 different threads

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984388 -

best other drug-

i don't even remember how much DXM i took but it was a hefty load, and then we smoked 4 phat bowls out of my friends nice 2 ft. glass bong and we played phish. And i was tripping out pretty hard, we had his big black light on and he had all this cool shit in his room and my 2 friends turned into BIG rabbits and their chairs turned into cars and the room turned into an alley and the wall was changing colors, and everything was just so perfectly crazy. I guess i was laying on his bed nodding my head to the music for like an hour and a half, but it seemed like 15-20 minutes to me and it was very cool.

Thats all i remember of it.





Best Mushroom experience-
at a big wu concert. That was just really really fun. I got scared for a few seconds cause i got seperated from everyone at setbraek and was stuck in a crowd of people but then i found my group and all was well.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984416 -

lol ok
i got a worst drug exp

when i was like 13 me and my buddys went up above the local pre school and procedded to getting as blzed as possible
and up until this point we had never bought alot of weed
but my freind started dealin so suddly we had 4th of extra bud
o this ocation we had 3 8ths or 3 diffrent good buds
well we dmn near smoked all three
and when we stood up to leave we were too high to even stand
i i fliped i told my freinds i hatta go and id meet them at the local skate spot
i was flippin out
mad parinoia
crreeping through bushes
al comando style
i got to the local bell market and went in looking like some sort of rabid ape
i bought 6 litters of soda and 6 candy bars (i wanted to get it out of my system :grin: and im a fat ass :wink: )
so i get the spot and im too high to mave
i ate 5 of the bars and drank 3 litters
when all of a sudden a cop rolss up
and every one bolts
(this happened all the time befor everyone started skating)
i grabed my board and back pack and booked it for so far and soo long
all the parinoia snaped back into me!
i ran to the top of a big grass hill with long bushes on it
i hid there for like an hour beffr i went back to the spot , yet again commando style :smile:


--------------------



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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984417 -

funkymonk said:
OuchITripped said:
This is another post of mine, that i figure will explode...


You covered pretty much any and every topic. ever. I can't see your thread doing anything BUT explode


ya, I don't post about crap, and I think people enjoy my threads so, wanna contribue maybe?


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984420 -

nope.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984423 -

I have one thats under worst car ride AND worst mushroom experience.

I was staying with some relatives and we had made plans to go out for a hike in the desert later in the afternoon. Myself, and one other relative decided it would be a good idea to dose just before we rode out to the site. We had 30 minutes to kill before we got out there, so we dosed up. Now, my 84 y/o uncle who is nearly blind loves desert hikes, so he was all for it. But, my cousin who was supposed to drive us out there suddenly bailed and went home instead of taking us. Well guess what, yours truly was left with the driving privelages in an unfamiliar town. I tried to make excuses to my uncle about it being too hot but he wouldnt have it. He's nearly blind mind you so that rules him out for driving. I was trying to talk my way out of it and already things were getting wierd.

I would NEVER have driven under the influence like that but arguing about it on mush seemed like it wasn't settling well. Well I figured it can't be too bad just a short drive with my elderly blind uncle and other cousin and they would tell me where to go...I was wrong.. Driving my aunt's brand new car, of COURSE we had to stop for gas. There were faces in the vapor coming off the gas nozzle and I was gettin' nervous. My younger cousin (who I dosed with) thought the whole thing was completely hilarious of course.

Finally out on a rural road and I was happy about that. The pattern on the seats was crawling under me. I could see every grain in the road going under me. Lines on the road were not looking quite right. The tall figures of cacti were calling out to me and frowning as I went by them. FINALLY we got to the trail head and parked. I was very relieved.

The rest of the hike was great. I saw lizards and snakes and bugs Im pretty sure I would never have seen otherwise. Made sure I was good and sober by the time I drove home.

Definetely and unforgettable experience.


--------------------
The above statement is completely fictional and composed solely for the purpose of entertainment.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984424 -

of wait i have a worse drug story than my other one

ok here it is:
i took a small 4 oz bottle or dxm (tussin)
i started to walk over to my freinds house.....then i wake up in my freinds bed room 10 hours later (diffrent freind too)


--------------------



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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984425 -

YouEnjoyMyself said:
\

i have lots of weird/funny/stupid/etc. sex stories but i don't wanna type.

And i've typed my worst <A TITLE="Click for more information about car" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||cars|AA1VDw">car</A> ride ever story so many times and it's long that i just don't want to.



go find where u typed it, and copy+paste it =]


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984428 -

funkymonk said:
nope.



--------------------
Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984435 -

funkymonk, then go away, ur not wanted here!


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: felix]
    #2984443 -

felix said:
funkymonk said:
nope.




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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984459 -

that could possibly take more time then typing,i suck at finding posts.


heres a short and sweet story.

i was at a movie with my girlfriend...she starts giving me a handjob.  And i notice there is a kid that is like 5 years younger then me that i knew cause i would skate with his older brother and he was behind me and like 2 chairs to the side.  And after the movie i was pissing and he was in there and was like "that chicks hand was in your pants!" and i was like "what are you talking about?" trying to play it off as if it iddn't happen.


i also got a handjob in a movie theatre when we saw a movie with her family...her sister was on my other side, that was hard to pull off, no one ever found out :smile:


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984463 -

ouch- your picture in your signature is awesome!! i always love looking at that.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984466 -

handjobs suck.

I had straight out sex once in a theatre. it wasnt packed, maybe like 10 other people

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984473 -

yeah these theatres were packed...let me think of the movies...lord of the rings 2, and some comedy that was a pretty big hit.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984477 -

:lol:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984483 -

YouEnjoyMyself said:
ouch- your picture in your signature is awesome!!  i always love looking at that.


that's why it's in their, thanks for commenting, I gave gumby 5 shrooms for his avatar, I crack up everytime i see that, which is alot... even when i'm sober.. which isn't alot :smirk:


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984487 -

yem always has the most sexy parties :laugh:


--------------------



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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: notapillow]
    #2984489 -

yem brings the sexy to the party

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984530 -

haha, you make me feel so much cooler then i am!! haha.

Haha, this next story scared the SHIT out of me at the time.

me and my girlfriend (we did lots of stupid sexual stuff, you could say pretty experimental) were coming back to my dads house. No one was home and i knew they would be gone for a while longer. So we were chillin outside for a minute having a cigerette. We see a tent in my backyard, and we at the same time were like "wanna go in there" hinting at sex, and so we did, and we had sex, good sex too. But RIGHT as i pull out, i hear little foot steps pitter pattering down the driveway. First thing in my head "ooohhhhh shit". My girlfriend was all scared and is scrambling to get her clothes on. She rustles around the tent and my little brother screams kinda. And my step mom walks 10 feet away from the tent and my little brother says, "Somebodys in the tent!!" and she has her shirt on and is getting her pants on, i'm slowly/quitely pulling my pants up. And, THANK GOD!, my step mom says, "ohh, no body's in there, it was probably the wind". That was SUCH a relief, cause being the hard ass family they are, it would have sucked getting caught. Anyways they walk to the front yard and we get out of the tent and take off through my backyard and cut through a yard and went back to her house to hang out. It was quite an adrenaline rush, those are always fun, unless you get caught and are in trouble.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984537 -

I'd post a story about a crazy sexual experience, but i told my self i wouldnt in this thread. :shrug:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984547 -

On my worst car ride I got explosive diareah (sp) from drinking budweiser for three days strait and swallowing river water.

We had to pull over so I could take a heinous shit off in some tick infested reeds.

I squatted above a natural ditch and let out some squirt. I used my underwear for whipes; ditching them at the scene.

I hope mushrooms grew on that pile of shitsqirt.
Either that or some fool savaged my mud boxers.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: MAGnum]
    #2984563 -

:lol:

funky- do tell.




this happened to my brother.

he was at a YMCA and had to shit REAL bad.  SO he takes a dump, it's a single stall bathrom.  He had explosive diareah too, and let it rip, he then noticed that there was no toilet paper, and no extra rolls, and no paper towels or anything outside of the stall.  And so he uses his boxers to wipe his butt.  As he is doing this, a guy walks in the bathroom waiting for the stall.  So he flushes and the boxers don't go down so there is nasty ass shit and boxers in the toilet, so he just opened the stall and ran out of the bathroom.  It was really funny.







that reminded me of a funny story of me.

i was at a country club and i had to take massive shit, so i did, and i flush the toilet and it clogs and the water is rising and i was like ah whatever and left.  (me and my brother were in the bathroom at the same time, we would always go at the same time to goof around in the bathroom, i was only like 12 or 13 at the time) and as im walking out of the bathroom you hear water splashing alll over the ground.  20 minutes later my brother walks into the lobby and water is coming out of the bathroom, and there are people in the bathroom (wearing boots) trying to fix the toilet.  And my brother came back and was like "theres water coming out of the bathroom" and my dad looked at us cause he knew it had to of been one of us, and we denied it and i later confessed...later as in a few monthes.  But long story short, my shit water ended up in the lobby of a country club :smile:


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984569 -

funkymonk said:
I'd post a story about a crazy sexual experience, but i told my self i wouldnt in this thread. :shrug:


then quit reading it.


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984572 -

I like yems stories

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: funkymonk]
    #2984588 -

dude, if you knew me personally, i'm ALWAYS telling stories. I'm gonna be one hell of a story telling grandpa or something. Something always reminds me of something in my life and i start telling the story, and then something in that story will remind me of something else and i will start another story and it keeps happening, and most of the time i never finsih any of the storys and end up forgeting some of the original ones cause i get so far down the line. I guess it sounds obnoxious but it's not cause people are usually laughing cause it's most of the time funny stuff. This one girl whom i kinda like (she's 2 years younger then me and has an older brother my age whom i've had classes with, and i was watching a movie with her on her couch and her brother walked in and was suprised to see me with her and it was really awkward cause i was buddies with him and we did a few projects together for some classes. And i'm honestly kind of "scared", not scared scared but like i feel really weird being with his little sister cause i sure as hell wouldn't want a buddy from school chillin with my little sister and shit all close on a couch and shit...idk, its weird, and im sidetracking myself) and she loves how i have all these weird stories, which is cool cause she lieks me for it, but yeah, i don't know what point im getting at so i have to stp myself.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984591 -

I do the same thing about memories bringing up a story. But for some reason they don't seem funny to me when I type them.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984593 -

ok, here's a story for u

one time when i was like 12 i was bowling with my cousins, and it was my turn, and i was like AUSTIN! (my cousin) bowl for me, i gotta pee ( i was like.. 12 or something, so i was embarassed about takin a shit, or something-i dont rememba) and long story short I shit all over myself as i was sitting down, and it was like half in my short and half all over the wall, which i didn't know until the guy who came in after said, SON, how do u SHIT ON THE WALL?
it was obviously, very high powered diarrhea that i'd been holding in for about 3 minutes too long...and it wasn't like BAM all over the wall, but it was mos def on the wall, and I had to ditch my (whitey tighties) [.. i was 12...] in the trash can, but when i tossed them in there, the little door on it didn't open, and i didn't want to touch them and push them in, so i just left them hanging out... and they dripped all over the floor and stuff, it was gross, then i went back and was like Austin... (i thought he was the shit cuz he was like 17...) u know how that is..., and i was like, austin, i did a bad thing, go look at the bathroom, i didn't wanna tell my parent's, i thought he was god @ the time, i KNEW he'd take care of it, he came back and acted all mad at first then like 5 minutes later when we got away from my parents, and got some fries he was like

Dude, u got it on the wall! and gave me a high five, lol.


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984600 -

YouEnjoyMyself said:
dude, if you knew me personally, i'm ALWAYS telling stories. I'm gonna be one hell of a story telling grandpa or something. Something always reminds me of something in my life and i start telling the story, and then something in that story will remind me of something else and i will start another story and it keeps happening, and most of the time i never finsih any of the storys and end up forgeting some of the original ones cause i get so far down the line. I guess it sounds obnoxious but it's not cause people are usually laughing cause it's most of the time funny stuff. This one girl whom i kinda like (she's 2 years younger then me and has an older brother my age whom i've had classes with, and i was watching a movie with her on her couch and her brother walked in and was suprised to see me with her and it was really awkward cause i was buddies with him and we did a few projects together for some classes. And i'm honestly kind of "scared", not scared scared but like i feel really weird being with his little sister cause i sure as hell wouldn't want a buddy from school chillin with my little sister and shit all close on a couch and shit...idk, its weird, and im sidetracking myself) and she loves how i have all these weird stories, which is cool cause she lieks me for it, but yeah, i don't know what point im getting at so i have to stp myself.


so, kinda like u just did, u just did? =]


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984615 -

GREAT STORY!!!!!!!

i actually laughed out loud.


that reminds me of an explosive diareah story of mine.

i was at my friends hosue for a few days (he lives like 50 minutes from me) and i had to take a massive dump so i let it rip. It rockets into the toilet and splashes ALL over. It's all on my ass and shit. So i have to do like full wipage on my ass to get it all clean. And then he goes in there to piss right after i finish shitting, first he comments on the smell and then he lifts up the lid and there was diareah splashes all over the bottom of the seat and he was totally disgusted but at the same time laughing his ass off saying i musta taken a massive shit. And i looked at the seat and there was shit stains all over the bottom of it and i cleaned it for him. It was so funny though. I wish i could realive that moment.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984618 -

hahaha


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2984644 -

=] i like u yem.. are u just a pub postwhore or do you actually hunt/cultivate =} and/or contribue to the hunting/cultivation forums
i do all =}


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2984941 -

once when i was a little kid my mom was taking me to see my dad curl at some place and it was halfway across town and we were almost there and i had this big fart and got shit in my pants so we had to drive home and get me cleaned up and then started driving back again. right around the same place, we're almost there and the same thing happens.

we pretty much missed the whole game

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985137 -

this is a good thread, I'm laughing my ass off right now


--------------------
Passion destroyed is reborn in the passion for destruction...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985664 -

OMG boys are so gross! And funny!

Once when i was 16, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (it was probably only the 3rd time or so, ever) and he was pushing my head down and I gagged and puked all over his lap.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985694 -

When I was about 13 I was at my buddies house with a bunch of other friends playing quarters in the garage. There was this one kid who would roll the quarter off his nose and never miss. So we all got REALLY plastered from this guy. So we start doing really stupid stuff like drawing pictures on our shirts with lighter fluid and then lighting them on fire.

When we finally turn in, my buddy Dan is in pretty bad shape. First he gets up and pukes all over the bathroom. My buddies older brother (who wasn't part of the party) gets up in the middle of the night to take a leak and slips in the puke. Later Dan has to take a leak so he heads down the hallway (still completely drunk) and makes a wrong turn. He walks into my buddies PARENTS room...whips it out...and starts pissing all over thier night stand and everything sitting on top of it (pictures, phone, etc.). The mom wakes up and yells, "What the fuck are you doing!" Dan looks at her and says "Oh, I'm sorry" zips up and walks out.

Of course he didn't remember any of it.


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985706 -

That is too freakin' funny! Did you finish?


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985713 -

Source said:
That is too freakin' funny! Did you finish?


gahahahaahaha

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985737 -

Here's my stupid shitting story if anybody cares.

I was in the bathroom at my middle school and I hadn't shat in about 3 days. I had explosive diarrhea and it went all over the damn wall, floor, and toilet before I could sit down all the way. Some people come in and I'm like, "Some kid just shit all over the place." Hahaha.


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985789 -

Actually, I did, and I didn't tell him that I puked because I was so embarrassed.  I just dashed out of the car after, and ran in my house. :rotfl:


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985808 -

and he didn't notice?

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: stefan]
    #2985818 -

yeah he sure did- he called when he got home and i pretended I didn't know what he was talking about. He shouldn't have shoved my head down so hard! I guess he had watched too many pornos before trying the real thing with an inexperienced girl.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985844 -

hands were not meant to be on the back of a girls head pushing while her teeth loom precariously close to snipping you perm. :wink:

and half the fun is letting the chick be in control.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985861 -

mndfreeze said:
and half the fun is letting the chick be in control.


Yeah, I totally agree.


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985890 -

You're right, he shouldn't have shoved you down. Nothing to be embarassed about, that uvula is a puke trigger!


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985893 -

chicks in control = omfgdroolsploogeetcinsertmorenoiseshere

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985910 -

:tongue:


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985915 -

I feel my efforts deserve a better response :frown:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985926 -

mmmmmyyyyeaaaaaOhhhhhhMMMHmmmmm...Uuuh...Uuuuh..Uh...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhh.

Don't move...I'll get you a towel.


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985934 -

Thats more like it!

Just dont tell me if your a guy or a chick :wink:

la la la la la la la

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985964 -

Shit stories are the bomb. Here we go:

In elementary school I had to take use the restroom. Walk into the first stall nearest the door and theres giant turds on the floor, smeared all over the toilet seat and in the toilet. I'm guessing someone had explosive diaherea. That didn't help my stomach afterwards.

When I was a sophmore on the last day of school, me and my friend Kaylee were forced to clean up the paint trays in the bathroom. It was the last period of the day so we went in there to do it real quick. Well the paint was a bunch of colors in a girl's bathroom so I decided to take red paint we washed off and squirt it into the toilets so it looked like you-know-what. Then some other girls came in and used the only stall we didn't do it in. Fuckin funny cuz we still had the paint trays and it would of gave it away.

Another time I went to Sizzlers, a resturant to eat and had to use the bathroom. I used to have to always explore the resturant when I was a little kid. Went into a stall and found a giant chunk of uncooked steak in the toilet. My mom came in and tried flushing it but it would only bob up and down. She couldn't stop laughing. Crazy ass shit.

I hate when you pee for more then 3ish minutes. Damn does that suck.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985969 -

Also one of my friends when I was in rehab had corn for dinner.... Well after she took a shit in the toilet, the toilet clogged, overflowed and you could see the CORN KERNELS all over the floor. Buahahhaha.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985971 -

AND once in juvi me and a girl were talking at some table. I said something, forget, and she laughed so hard she pissed her pants.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985997 -

It's better if you don't know.


--------------------
What you're searching for is what's searching.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped] * 1
    #2986045 -

Worst car ride:

Ok, this is one I'll share. Now, since I was driving, it wasn't my worst car ride, but it was for two of my friends. It was late one night, and the party we were at was over, and a friend of mine needed a ride home. Since he, and his girlfriend lived not to far from me, I gladly let them come along. Well, these two both hopped in the back seat, and I started heading home. I could see that my two friends were in a touchy feely mood, and I told them in no uncertain terms not to be doing anything of that sort in the back of my car. Well, about halfway home I look in my rearview mirror and what do I see, she's leaned over, face planted firmly in his lap, at this point I clearly remember telling them I didn't want them fucking around in my car, luckily, we were near a little drive in restaurant. Now this restaurant has a large gravel lot in the back that allows for eighteen wheelers to park, so I turn the wheel, pull into this lot without slowing down, then cut the wheel hard to the right and pull the hand break. The car spun around and my friend screamed, I'm sure she would have screamed too had her mouth not been otherwise occupied. It seems that the sudden shock of my car spinning around was enough to shake them out of their own little world and scared this girl to death, at which point, she promptly chopped down on my friends appendage. No idea if she drew blood, but they never asked me for a ride again, and my friend later claimed that he was afraid to get a blow job for months afterwards.

That has to count for worst car ride/sexual experience on his part.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: ]
    #2986728 -

LMFAO ^ THAT'S FUCKING GREAT!


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2986775 -

I had this one gf, and everytime we'd go into doggy, she fart, really loud! I mean these were rippers!!! I'm serious, she'd fart in complete sentences.

as soon as it went in, and I mean as it was going in, she'd fart. it was horrible. I couldn't stop laughing.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: kaiowas]
    #2986785 -

Did it happen EVERY TIME it went in and out and in and out again? That would be too much to handle...


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #2986793 -

hheh, no only when we began, but I mean, it's like her anus had a mind of it's own, it must have been very happy to see me :lol:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: kaiowas]
    #2986823 -

this is a funny thread :lol:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: iloveraving]
    #2986853 -

I lov eit


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: kaiowas]
    #2986859 -

Oh my.  And now you are modding the pub.  :grin:


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2986872 -



--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Edited by OuchITripped (08/10/04 04:02 PM)

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2986880 -

yesh I amish!!!! I love the pub!!! yay!!!

*celebrates*


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2986884 -

:lol: I was replying to Kaiowas' story.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2987057 -

OuchITripped said:
=] i like u yem.. are u just a pub postwhore or do you actually hunt/cultivate =} and/or contribue to the hunting/cultivation forums
i do all =}


i'm a pub postwhore mostly, with occasional posts in the OTD and ODD. Sometimes i will randomly post in other boards.

I'm trying to think of another story...

Well i'm tired and it's hard to think of something GOOD so this one is short sweet and simple. For my birthday my girlfriend said if i wanted i could get another chick and we could have a threesome. She said she had to approve of the girl before i asked them though and the first person i asked was her sister...that wasn't too smart but she got really pissed and i tried to play it off as if i were joking but she knows i was serious..that 3 some never happened.


That reminds me of one.

I was with my friend and gf and we were driving in the middle of no where to watch an eclipse orwhatever and then somehow a 3 some conversation starts up. And we were gonna try it in the back of his car, it was pretty spacious, so she starts out giving me head and starts riding me and it didn't work out for me to fuck her and her suck his dick at the same time or anything so then i was driving his car around letting my girlfriend suck one of my best friends dick...i felt really weird cause it's like "i'm driving one of my best friends car so he can get head from my girlfriend in the back".

I didn't like the decision after it was done but everything was normal and we never talked about it again. Haha, and my friend had a girlfriend which was my girlfriends best friend.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2987147 -

OMG YEM! I never would have thought!


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2987224 -

Quote:
YouEnjoyMyself said:i felt really weird cause it's like "i'm driving one of my best friends car so he can get head from my girlfriend in the back". 


yeah i could see that getting a little weird :crazy:


:blowjob:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences *DELETED* [Re: iloveraving]
    #2987253 -

Post deleted by YouEnjoyMyself

Reason for deletion: delete


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

Edited by YouEnjoyMyself (08/10/04 04:55 PM)

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2987259 -

aaaaaaaaaaaaWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2987268 -

He's adorable!


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2987286 -

he's hilarious. He will say such funny things.

recently i was on the computer and he came up to me and said "patrick...i'm gonna go out side and do my Harry Potter lessons." and i was like "Harry Potter lessons? Who's teaching you those?" he says "nobody. i'm going out there with my friends." i say "what friends of yours are here." him- "nobody" so i say "are the pretend?" "um....yeah" "what are their names?" "i dont know"


it was a lot funnier being there cause he is fullll of facial expressions. If i could upload videos to my computer i would have a conversation with him and put it on here or something.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2987362 -

Harry Pothead and the Sorceror who got Stoned.

Little kids are cool. But preteens suck.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2987370 -

haha little kids are soo cool!!!



:thumbup:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

Edited by kaiowas (08/10/04 05:17 PM)

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2987437 -

PuZuZu said:
Harry Pothead and the Sorceror who got Stoned.


Wow, I dont know where it came from, but this was the name of a rave a few weeks ago. :tongue:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: iloveraving]
    #2987447 -

haha, thats funny.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2987538 -

PuZuZu said:
Harry Pothead and the Sorceror who got Stoned.

Little kids are cool. But preteens suck.


haha! We all call him Harry Pothead around these parts.



--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2987614 -

that picture is funny.


i've heard stuff along the lines of those titles. i've heard different noes but can't think of them.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2987695 -

harry dead head and the philosipher stones


--------------------


Got a question about a substance?  Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the  mushroom experience? The  Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before.
         
I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
  - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess

"I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2987744 -

Me and my friends used to tresspass and chill on roof tops. These buildings were old enough that the morter on one of the chimneys was brittle and the bricks could be removed with bare hands.

Where is this going?

Well, we decided we needed a toilet on top of the building, so we decompiled the chimney so it was like a toilet seat with back support and everything. Almong with many drunken pisses, my friend took a shit in it and still wont admit it to this day.

Now it wasn't just anyone who shit in the chimney, it was my friend, T. and when T farts it smells like there's something wrong with him.

Some kind of Gastric anomoly, I'm not a doctor, but there was something seriously wrong with his intestine.

Anyways, I bet his shit could rot a hole through steel. This dude used to live in my house and I have a fan that blows out the window. Every time he'd take a shit, the odor (smelt like disease shit held in for days) would go up, into my room and out the fan. It permiated the room along the way.

I would scream "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGHGH!!" and he would just laugh. Those were the days.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: gdman]
    #2987755 -

gdman420 said:
harry dead head and the philosipher stones


LMAO

:mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: MAGnum]
    #2987799 -

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2987888 -

don't you love guys poop stories?


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: gdman]
    #2988291 -



--------------------


Got a question about a substance?  Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the  mushroom experience? The  Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before.
         
I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
  - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess

"I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: gdman]
    #2988297 -



lol.



:sun:


--------------------
~Happy sailing~

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: MAGnum]
    #2988369 -

"Some kind of Gastric anomoly, I'm not a doctor, but there was something seriously wrong with his intestine."

hehe

"Anyways, I bet his shit could rot a hole through steel. "

:lol:

the odor (smelt like disease shit held in for days)
:rotfl:


that's just like my friend vince.  his farts were so bad, especially after he's eat something like two scoopes of triple fudge, with fudge syrup, hershey candies on top with like 15 cherries. 

jeeeesus this guy would be in the bathroom for like 30 min and you can hear him in there working his magic.

the words "none so vile" don't even come close to this man.

one time me and him had some chicks over and we're watching a movie and all that jazz.  wel this guy is like having an exocism in the bathroom.  the toilet flushes a lead seven times as I we hear his screams of agony and defeat.  he gingerly walks out of the bathroom and we were hit instantly by a smell that I cannot describe except maybe I wanted to take a shit so the place would smell better.  we ended up having to go outside because one of the ladies couldn't take the buttmust. 


needless to say I didn't sleep well that night.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2988375 -

worst sexual experience - way too many gin and tonics, and my good friend's brother's child's mother....

yeah, i know... :shrug:


--------------------



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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Krishna]
    #2988556 -

you had sex with her?





kaiowas- buttmust, haha. good story!


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2990539 -

this post MUST GO ON!


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2990961 -

OuchITripped said:
this post MUST GO ON!



--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2992367 -

.


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2992395 -

I don't like to type so im not going to answer, but nice post for a newbie! :smile:


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Ripple]
    #2992978 -

Thx, professional postwhore...

Like I care--;

I think besides Aloun, i'm the only one that posts in the pub that actually cultivates/picks mushrooms.. lol


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2993018 -

Don't go pulling your dress over your head, just kidding with you.

And you would be wrong about your conclusion about who cultivates.


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Ripple]
    #2993052 -

Don't go pulling your panties up your rear, I was exaggerating

but i'm pretty sure we just have a bunch of bored kids in the pub :smirk:


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
---------------------------------------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2993083 -

I believe in grow puppets..

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: iloveraving]
    #2993176 -

I wanna see a person behind the puppet turn into the puppet and have the orignal die and then have the puppet make a puppet of a resurection of the original.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2993324 -

me too :wink:


--------------------
If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
---------------------------------------------------
if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2993349 -

Behave in Ripples PUB ...


--------------------
So hard to be ....WDWGFH?
Texas is humongus compared to France
Our Gair, who art in Texas,
Paw Paw be thy Name....
My friends are thirsty


You never see a motorcycle parked outside a Psychiatrist office:biker:

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #8671262 -

I guess I've never had a "bad" sexual/drug experience - although the show "Intervention" makes DMX look pretty bad - please be careful guys - I hear it causes permenant brain damage. Never did 'shrooms - Daddy wouldn't share those...

But best sex ever was the brief few weeks that I had two partners. I would literally do one, then cross the hall and do the other. It was great while it lasted. Unfortunately, one was getting married and had to cut me off before the fiancee figured out why they were too tired to do it. Nothing says cheating like being too tired for sex on your wedding night!

Worst car ride? Anytime I wasn't driving. I hate being at the mercy of other people...

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Rasal]
    #8671270 -

This thread is almost four, count 'em four, years old.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #8671376 -

Aw well :shrug:

I'm low on new sex stories for the shroomery, so here's a shortie from a couple years ago.

Once I was in Tiajuana and one of the 20 dollar prostitutes grabbed me by the jacket, grabbed my balls with the other hand and started carresing them.  That was the most dircet come on I've ever received.


--------------------

Discuss Politics

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Ferris]
    #8671513 -

Hmm when in amsterdam a 50 euro hooker opened her glass door grabbed me and was like 50 euro, i said no thanks and got my frist mushroom trip with that money instead.
:awesome:


--------------------

"You all are just  puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain...""
you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: thedudenj]
    #8672310 -

You sir have your priorities straight.

If I recall correctly, I got like 10 pills of some semi-bunk e for that money instead.


--------------------

Discuss Politics

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences *DELETED* [Re: kaiowas]
    #14901109 -

Post deleted by Mr.PhilCybin

Reason for deletion: .



--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #14901150 -

bump


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #14901448 -

1. This thread is 6 years old.
2. You don't bump a thread 8 fucking minutes after you've posted in it.


--------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: mongo lloyd]
    #14905200 -

1.  cut a brotha some slack, ima newb.

2. i was stating that my first one was a bump, after i realized that it was 3 years since the last comment.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #14905237 -

:feelsgoodman::trolldance:


--------------------

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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #28935148 -

My worst sexual experience was my worst car ride, without sex! Get it!? Real hard! Keel, keel! LOL!

Lewlzers, to wow, to wowzers. Thampes, thumped, thanks. Lol the fuck ‘ol.

~Alex (G.) Johnson

<3

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