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OfflineSource
Remainder of anUnbalancedEquation
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Registered: 07/28/03
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985706 - 08/10/04 01:39 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

That is too freakin' funny! Did you finish?


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985713 - 08/10/04 01:41 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Source said:
That is too freakin' funny! Did you finish?




gahahahaahaha


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OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 5,395
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985737 - 08/10/04 01:48 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Here's my stupid shitting story if anybody cares.

I was in the bathroom at my middle school and I hadn't shat in about 3 days. I had explosive diarrhea and it went all over the damn wall, floor, and toilet before I could sit down all the way. Some people come in and I'm like, "Some kid just shit all over the place." Hahaha.


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"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


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OfflinePhishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
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Registered: 05/03/04
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985789 - 08/10/04 02:06 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Actually, I did, and I didn't tell him that I puked because I was so embarrassed.  I just dashed out of the car after, and ran in my house. :rotfl:


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Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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Offlinestefan
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Registered: 04/11/01
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985808 - 08/10/04 02:13 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

and he didn't notice?


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OfflinePhishgrrl
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: stefan]
    #2985818 - 08/10/04 02:16 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

yeah he sure did- he called when he got home and i pretended I didn't know what he was talking about. He shouldn't have shoved my head down so hard! I guess he had watched too many pornos before trying the real thing with an inexperienced girl.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985844 - 08/10/04 02:25 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

hands were not meant to be on the back of a girls head pushing while her teeth loom precariously close to snipping you perm. :wink:

and half the fun is letting the chick be in control.


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OfflineSource
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985861 - 08/10/04 02:30 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mndfreeze said:
and half the fun is letting the chick be in control.




Yeah, I totally agree.


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OfflineSource
Remainder of anUnbalancedEquation
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Registered: 07/28/03
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #2985890 - 08/10/04 02:36 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

You're right, he shouldn't have shoved you down. Nothing to be embarassed about, that uvula is a puke trigger!


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985893 - 08/10/04 02:37 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

chicks in control = omfgdroolsploogeetcinsertmorenoiseshere


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OfflineSource
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985910 - 08/10/04 02:41 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

:tongue:


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985915 - 08/10/04 02:42 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

I feel my efforts deserve a better response :frown:


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OfflineSource
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985926 - 08/10/04 02:44 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

mmmmmyyyyeaaaaaOhhhhhhMMMHmmmmm...Uuuh...Uuuuh..Uh...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhh.

Don't move...I'll get you a towel.


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Source]
    #2985934 - 08/10/04 02:47 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Thats more like it!

Just dont tell me if your a guy or a chick :wink:

la la la la la la la


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985964 - 08/10/04 02:53 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Shit stories are the bomb. Here we go:

In elementary school I had to take use the restroom. Walk into the first stall nearest the door and theres giant turds on the floor, smeared all over the toilet seat and in the toilet. I'm guessing someone had explosive diaherea. That didn't help my stomach afterwards.

When I was a sophmore on the last day of school, me and my friend Kaylee were forced to clean up the paint trays in the bathroom. It was the last period of the day so we went in there to do it real quick. Well the paint was a bunch of colors in a girl's bathroom so I decided to take red paint we washed off and squirt it into the toilets so it looked like you-know-what. Then some other girls came in and used the only stall we didn't do it in. Fuckin funny cuz we still had the paint trays and it would of gave it away.

Another time I went to Sizzlers, a resturant to eat and had to use the bathroom. I used to have to always explore the resturant when I was a little kid. Went into a stall and found a giant chunk of uncooked steak in the toilet. My mom came in and tried flushing it but it would only bob up and down. She couldn't stop laughing. Crazy ass shit.

I hate when you pee for more then 3ish minutes. Damn does that suck.


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"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985969 - 08/10/04 02:55 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Also one of my friends when I was in rehab had corn for dinner.... Well after she took a shit in the toilet, the toilet clogged, overflowed and you could see the CORN KERNELS all over the floor. Buahahhaha.


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"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped]
    #2985971 - 08/10/04 02:55 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

AND once in juvi me and a girl were talking at some table. I said something, forget, and she laughed so hard she pissed her pants.


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"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
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OfflineSource
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: Barbi]
    #2985997 - 08/10/04 03:04 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

It's better if you don't know.


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Anonymous

Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: OuchITripped] * 1
    #2986045 - 08/10/04 03:17 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

Worst car ride:

Ok, this is one I'll share. Now, since I was driving, it wasn't my worst car ride, but it was for two of my friends. It was late one night, and the party we were at was over, and a friend of mine needed a ride home. Since he, and his girlfriend lived not to far from me, I gladly let them come along. Well, these two both hopped in the back seat, and I started heading home. I could see that my two friends were in a touchy feely mood, and I told them in no uncertain terms not to be doing anything of that sort in the back of my car. Well, about halfway home I look in my rearview mirror and what do I see, she's leaned over, face planted firmly in his lap, at this point I clearly remember telling them I didn't want them fucking around in my car, luckily, we were near a little drive in restaurant. Now this restaurant has a large gravel lot in the back that allows for eighteen wheelers to park, so I turn the wheel, pull into this lot without slowing down, then cut the wheel hard to the right and pull the hand break. The car spun around and my friend screamed, I'm sure she would have screamed too had her mouth not been otherwise occupied. It seems that the sudden shock of my car spinning around was enough to shake them out of their own little world and scared this girl to death, at which point, she promptly chopped down on my friends appendage. No idea if she drew blood, but they never asked me for a ride again, and my friend later claimed that he was afraid to get a blow job for months afterwards.

That has to count for worst car ride/sexual experience on his part.


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OfflineOuchITripped
|E|C|S|T|A|C|Y| ~ ~ ~My Anti-Drug~

Registered: 07/01/04
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Re: Funny expressions, worst sexual experiences [Re: ]
    #2986728 - 08/10/04 05:29 PM (17 years, 2 months ago)

LMFAO ^ THAT'S FUCKING GREAT!


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If mushrooms grew in my house, and I could smoke in here, i'd have no reason to go outside?
-Brock D. 2004 (that's me)
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if you feel like your gonna puke just go ahead and puke
you'll feel much better afterwards.
sometimes its fun, as long as it doesn't come out your nose, that sucks
-Sherm (from the shroomery)

Better smilies coming soon! By suffer
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