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I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore!
    #9999310 -

Well, let's not be too hasty here. I won't quit forever, I'll just space it out. Why? Because I have decided that masturbation is a waste of time.

A normal day, like any other in front of your screen. Suddenly -- an erection attacks! You briefly caress yourself, which leads to subtle stroking, which leads to... oh, we'd better get a wad of toilet paper.

Now you're back in your chair with the wad of toilet paper in front of you. After years of doing this, you don't even need to double check if the door is locked, it has become second nature to you. Getting caught is impossible these days, and there's no longer any thrill or heart racing, you look as bored as an accountant sifting through numbers. All these strange websites and movies have gone from a strange, erotic land of wonder to a purely utilitarian destination: you get in, rub one out, and x out all the windows once finished. Goodbye, and thank you for traveling with Cum Guzzling Airlines.

You begin the search. Will it be a file from your stash or some random vid on red/porn/x/[insert word here]tube? You're too lazy (and bored of) your personal stash, so you pick a tube at random then start clicking.

You find one that piques your 'interest'. Then you immediately fast forward to penises and vaginas (or any other combination) if there's an intro. You start masturbating. Boredom sets in. You stop.

Now you look for another scene. While looking for another scene, you remember an older scene you saw a few days or weeks ago and search for it. While you search for that scene, you spot a new scene in the corner of your eye that you've never seen before and immediately click it. It is not as good as the scene you were looking for, so you are about to open a new tab when you see yet another scene in the thumbnails below this scene and get sidetracked. This repeats many, many times and by now you have had more false starts then the Duke Nukem Forever project.


Your browser is now a forest of tabs, with the same logo on each one. You lean back and sigh. Your dick goes a little limp, but out of the kindness of your... heart? (after all, you've had so many wonderful times with the guy), you choose to finish the job.

Ah! Here's a good scene. Let's get to business. Business meaning to repetitively jerk yourself off with a stone cold face and dead eyes, watching a subtle variation of something you've seen hundreds of times already. Before you know it, you're done. The tissue is now moist. You squeeze a few sticky gobs of cum out, x all the tabs that were oh so interesting before (it all looks so stupid now--more stupid than before), throw the cum filled ball of toilet paper away and go about to what you were doing as if nothing happened.


I tell you: this is no way to live.

So I've decided that I am going to cut my masturbation to every 1-2 weeks. Once every friday. Why friday? Because it's not thursday. I HATE thursdays.

Also, I have discovered the joy of slow masturbation. If sex is an A or A+, then slow masturbation is at least a B and sometimes B+. Fast masturbation is C-, because it's not anywhere near as good. YOU ARE GRIPPING TOO TIGHT. You will lose sensitivity to regular sex, you stupid dick.

I was going to swear off masturbation for like a month, then I remembered that it has proven health benefits and I didn't want to get prostate cancer.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999343 -

:lol: You're right.  Fast masturbation is C-.  A 2 minute nut < 20 minute nut anyday.

I've been thinking lately about how I've never had a wet dream.  How long do you have to go anyway?  On one hand I think it would be weird to wake up with a start like that but then I also like to experience things so?? :lol:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999344 -

Having to beat the meat is annoying.  Its not even that great - its just a bodily function that gets in the way.

You can get so much more achieved without doing it, people that wank everyday or many times a day never do anything.  All their energy mental and physical is permanently drained.

The great minds of this world, the great inventors and builders etc certainly weren't jacking off everyday.

I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: truffleupagus]
    #9999368 -

truffleupagus said:
:lol: You're right.  Fast masturbation is C-.  A 2 minute nut < 20 minute nut anyday.

I've been thinking lately about how I've never had a wet dream.  How long do you have to go anyway?  On one hand I think it would be weird to wake up with a start like that but then I also like to experience things so?? :lol:


Don't be fooled! A slow jerk can go from 5 minutes to as long as you want (but I don't like spending that much time pleasuring myself unless it's inside of a woman's orifices). You have control to let loose quickly or delay, delay, delay. The more you delay, the more explosive your 'gasm.

Ego Death said:
Having to beat the meat is annoying.  Its not even that great - its just a bodily function that gets in the way.

You can get so much more achieved without doing it, people that wank everyday or many times a day never do anything.  All their energy mental and physical is permanently drained.

The great minds of this world, the great inventors and builders etc certainly weren't jacking off everyday.

I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.


YEEEEEEESSSSSSS. Fuck, this is exactly how I see it. I'm at that stage in life where I want to learn useful things so I can be a useful man. Not just to get a job, but for life in general. I want to be able to fix, build, maintain, create, and understand all of those things that make life worth living. Lately, I've decided to write up nearly all the dishes I love or would love to try and attempt to make all of them. That list would have dozens of dishes, but you know what? It's worth it. I'm tired of being cooked for or even going out to eat regularly. Even fucking sandwiches should be made at home to save money in these tough times. Even if it's a cheap ass fuck ham sandwich from the corner store or Subway, I feel like "Man, for less than 3x the price, I could have enough ingredients to make a ton of sandwiches in the future at a fraction of the cost. Why the hell am I paying this dude/chick money to make a sandwich for me? Am I really that lazy? Yes. Yes I am. Pathetic. :sad: "

Buying in bulk might suck initially, but that's why you don't live paycheck to paycheck. Fuck it, I'm even thinking of buying my chips in bulk to save money. And I won't even eat them all in a week, either. :mad2:

This totally got off track

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999426 -

ahhhhhahahaha...  that was a great play-by-play.  i suppose i never considered how universal certain masturbatory habits are.  the only thing different for me, is that these days i almost never jack off unless i'm stoned.  unfortunately, that happens to be everyday as of late.  but i've decided to work on that.  the being stoned everyday thing i mean.  too goddamned expensive to keep that up.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #9999616 -

I was JUST gonna look at some porn until I saw this!


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Ego Death]
    #9999664 -

Ego Death said:
...I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.


Every few weeks?? Good Luck with that.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999708 -

I think that those great minds of the world's history were ultramasturbating - like 16 times a day or more. Then, on one day, they suddenly stopped and the sperm that used to sprinkle off their dicks so often got accumulated and the pressure burst a tunnel open directly to their brain through the spine. Therefore, the brain got more substrate to grow on. One exception is Mr. Hawking... But I think he has his sperm injected intrabrainously.


--------------------


Karel Capek's The Absolute at Large is the major psychedelic milestone literature. READ IT NOW!

Edited by HCLivess (03/19/09 09:16 AM)

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999710 -



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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999735 -

Would you feel the same way about all of this if it was a girl jacking you off every day?


--------------------
Word to your mom.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #9999741 -

jesus a 20 minute jerk sesh, I think my arm would get tired after 15. now I'm curious tho lol :cool:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: BrainChemistry]
    #9999744 -

I don't think it has any relation to my physical or mental energy or well being.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999748 -

I don't need any luck, its a choice.  One that I've been making for about the past 2 years.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999761 -

mmmm almost forgot i'm home alone :wink:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: zSDMF]
    #9999803 -

go two weeks without releasing and you'll be suprised at how much more confidence, energy, and general control over your mind you have.  trust me, it's worth it.

it's also hella easy to give in. been on and off for over three years and the highest i went was 30-something days, but wow - my life was so deliberate and enjoyable, i had some of the best experiences ever. cheers if you summon the willpower to do it

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anominis]
    #9999882 -

Really? All I got was a hardon from the vibration riding the bus. I wear boxers so it was pretty annoying. If I had some chick sucking me off a few times a week, I could probably go a month as well. Unfortunately I'm low on funds. LOLz.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999910 -

all forms of release count :P

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anominis]
    #9999936 -

I light some scented candles, put on some Barry White and whisper sweet nothings to myself before starting to carress my body gently all over.  Many hours later I climax all over my own face and have a whole cigarette all to myself


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: sam420]
    #9999947 -

this thread made me lose it after 18 weeks of no masturabtion.  fuck you

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999954 -

FANTASY.

Move away from the pr0n, or use it at most for hands-off charging your batteries, then go lie in your bed with closed eyes and masturbate to fantasy.

This way, instead of conditioning yourself to mediocre visual cues, you enrich your fantasy life and capacity for imagination.

All that looking at porn (that never precisely matches what you'd like at that moment anyway) and web browsing takes away from feeling the masturbation to the fullest.

Get lost in fantasy. Lose yourself to the sensation. If masturbation is all you got at the time, you'd better make the most of it.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Asante]
    #9999964 -

I gave up porn all together a few days ago, still need to jerk it once in awhile, but its not too bad. I have sex with my girl daily its only when we have sex in the day and not at night that I need to bust one off before bed.


--------------------
With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Rocker232]
    #10000098 -

I hate when you beat off and your cock feels like its on fire for 30 minutes or so. No I dont have an STD. I dunno why it does this sometimes. I didn't jerk it for a couple days once and still got this feeling :sad:


--------------------


You're gonna get hurt real bad :smile:

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Rocker232]
    #10000099 -

Rocker232 said:
I gave up porn all together a few days ago, still need to jerk it once in awhile, but its not too bad. I have sex with my girl daily its only when we have sex in the day and not at night that I need to bust one off before bed.



Tell her you one sex before bed too?


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10000381 -

Yeah, masturbation does get old.

I've though about a fleshlight before but I can't justify the price and I'm not willing to swallow my pride and order one.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Gumby]
    #10000391 -

Gumby said:
Yeah, masturbation does get old.

I've though about a fleshlight before but I can't justify the price and I'm not willing to swallow my pride and order one.



:rofl2: It feels good though


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #10000400 -

We'll see if I'm saying the same thing if I don't get laid soon. A 9 month dry streak kind of erodes your pride anyway.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10000414 -

:lol:@xing out the tabs

2 minutes of excitement followed by 5 minutes of shame...

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: filthee]
    #10000431 -

filthee said:
:lol:@xing out the tabs

2 minutes of excitement followed by 5 minutes of shame...


this.


--------------------
On the scale of wibble to wobble...

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: filthee]
    #10000436 -

filthee said:
2 minutes of excitement followed by 5 minutes of shame...


Happends everytime....


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Lethal Dose]
    #10000448 -

after practice you can learn to orgasm and ejaculate without your dick being touched at all,you just keep pinching tickling or get someone to suck your nipples and kegel exercises help to master it:lol:

those nipple rings must enhance

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: BrainChemistry]
    #10000462 -

funny shit...
ive also thought about not masterbaiting but decided not to stop because of the same reason its healthy , and ive always heard if you dont use it u lose it, since me n my g/f broke up ive been very worried
lmao


--------------------

Sid and Mr. Madhat <part one> A story by Cubie P. Cubensis
<> I WANNA SMOKE THIS BOWL <> <A comic by Cubie P. Cubensis>

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Cubie]
    #10000474 -

Cubie said:
ive always heard if you dont use it u lose it


Yeah, you can never get an erection agian if you stop masterbating for to many years :rolleyes:


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #10000520 -

lol i wasnt serious


--------------------

Sid and Mr. Madhat <part one> A story by Cubie P. Cubensis
<> I WANNA SMOKE THIS BOWL <> <A comic by Cubie P. Cubensis>

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Cubie]
    #10000582 -

I need to find a way to redirect blood from to my tool. It's to easy to get a stiffy and it gets in the way :P


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10000713 -

a trick that has worked for me is to clench my PC muscle (aka kegels) as long and hard as i can, whilst focusing on something else.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: sam420]
    #10000766 -

sam420 said:
I light some scented candles, put on some Barry White and whisper sweet nothings to myself before starting to carress my body gently all over.  Many hours later I climax all over my own face and have a whole cigarette all to myself


:rofl:


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #10000782 -

:lol:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10000817 -

Quote:
Once every friday. Why friday? Because it's not thursday. I HATE thursdays.


Then you should do it on Thursday. It'll make the day wayy better. Fridays are already the shit.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: filthee]
    #10000921 -

This may be weird- but last night when I was jerking on opiates, I found that I can shift my mind away from my 'member', I can last forever- I am not sure if it was the opiates or not, but I think I may have learnt how to control the PC muscle, it's like I can shift my orgasm part of my brain away :wowz:  good technique to have for the ladies :omgawesome:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: skatealex2]
    #10001090 -

lets start an anti-porn group here


--------------------
Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I'm back in the USSA
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the US
Back in the US
Back in the USSA

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: tomnl]
    #10001186 -

i feel sorry for all you guys with the burning desire to wank.
glad i don't have a penis...


--------------------
Spiders on drugs

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: americalovesfear]
    #10001263 -

americalovesfear said:
i feel sorry for all you guys with the burning desire to wank.
glad i don't have a penis...


If you wanna play with one gimme a call :derfase:


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: boletusoftruth]
    #10001270 -

Not beating your meat is probably a good thing.


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: boletusoftruth]
    #10001330 -

tomnl said:
lets start an anti-porn group here


Try that in OTD :lol:

americalovesfear said:
i feel sorry for all you guys with the burning desire to wank.
glad i don't have a penis...


Glad I don't have a pussy that drips blood every month for most of my life.

boletusoftruth said:
If you wanna play with one gimme a call :derfase:


:rofl2:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10001357 -

yeah, fucking bleeding from my vag sucks, yer right.

however, it doesn't necessarily drip blood as much as gush blood...


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Spiders on drugs

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10001381 -

HAHA, having a period every month would really suck, but girls do have an advantage, that they can finger themselves for hours and not have to clean up their mess :wowz:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10001399 -

fuck, dude... you described the way i feel to the T... i think i'm gonna reduce my masturbatory habits while at the same time following wiccan's advice and laying off the porn... it's really starting to feel like a chore... and is it just me or does porn keep getting worse and worse?


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: skatealex2]
    #10001404 -

True BUT their at a disadvantage for so many other things. That's not meant to be disrespectful to woman btw.

The worse is on amps, the load is so fucking much. It makes me feel like Peter North :lol:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10001446 -

failure on so many levels


--------------------
for all y’all niggaz out there that be puffin shit
when the music go on, y’all listen to this alright

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Asante]
    #10001455 -

Wow, Seek.... You're a god amongst men, seriously.
It's almost scary how dead-on you are. And its funny how real, and how right you were about X'ing out the tabs at the end of your session, and how unbelievably uninterested you've become to the thumbnails that where oh-so-interesting then.
Kudos on your self-realization, and I support you!~


--------------------
L i f E  i S  b U t  d R e A m . . .

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Asante]
    #10001467 -

Why do you use toilet paper?

Doesn't that get really adhesive and sticky?


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: SyntheticSkies]
    #10001469 -

SyntheticSkies said:
Wow, Seek.... You're a god amongst men, seriously.
It's almost scary how dead-on you are. And its funny how real, and how right you were about X'ing out the tabs at the end of your session, and how unbelievably uninterested you've become to the thumbnails that where oh-so-interesting then.
Kudos on your self-realization, and I support you!~


QFT!


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: mathewww]
    #10001475 -

mathewww said:
Why do you use toilet paper?

Doesn't that get really adhesive and sticky?


i've always wondered that too.
like plaster of paris?


--------------------
Spiders on drugs

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: mathewww]
    #10001618 -

mathewww said:
Why do you use toilet paper?

Doesn't that get really adhesive and sticky?


Very :lol: , Practically need a whole role to clean up all the ectoplasm.

This is what you gotta use :

http://reviews.canadiantire.ca/9045/0396641P/reviews.htm

Use 1 and it's enough! :thumbsup:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10001705 -

nvm. good post

Edited by blkjkrabbit (03/19/09 02:47 PM)

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10001752 -

no no, NOT masturbating can attribute to prostate cancer.  i think that's what he was saying.  probably something to do with constant pressure of seminal fluids or something.  :shrug:

you sneaky ninja-editor!


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Edited by tiny_rabid_birds (03/19/09 02:49 PM)

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #10001926 -

tiny_rabid_birds said:
no no, NOT masturbating can attribute to prostate cancer.  i think that's what he was saying.  probably something to do with constant pressure of seminal fluids or something.  :shrug:

you sneaky ninja-editor!



thanks man. i sorta misread that i went back tho and ya that seems to make good sense. if you don't use it ya lose it sorta logic i s'pose. :thumbup:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10001977 -

that's why male dogs get prostate cancer if not fixed.  they don't have enough sex at all.


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Spiders on drugs

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: americalovesfear]
    #10001990 -

unless you're this dog.



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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: tomnl]
    #10001993 -

The OP's description of a porn-viewing session is all-to-familiar... Almost an exact portrayal of whenever I give in.

I try to masturbate infrequently, if at all.

I notice much higher energy and better mood when I don't do it. I notice more synchronicity in my life as well.


--------------------
:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10002138 -

You don't have to take forever... just find maybe 4-6 sites you like with streaming videos, skim through the videos and start caching the ones you like... by the time you have 10-12 videos you are interested in you are good to start...

don't wait until you're bored, save the best ones for closest to the end, get ready as the windows are running out. Have a few vids on your HD that you like but rarely watch just in case you run out of streaming material. :shrug:

Don't do it too much more than once a day and there is much less boredom. Exercise frequently and your physiology and attention will last longer and you won't have that annoying on and off again experience.


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: skatealex2]
    #10002172 -

skatealex2 said:
This may be weird- but last night when I was jerking on opiates, I found that I can shift my mind away from my 'member', I can last forever- I am not sure if it was the opiates or not, but I think I may have learnt how to control the PC muscle, it's like I can shift my orgasm part of my brain away :wowz:  good technique to have for the ladies :omgawesome:


You can do this even if not on drugs. Just think about something very intensely that is completely random and non-related to sex. A jaguar hanging from a wall clock for example.

Don't think about gross things because then you may either turn yourself off or 'pendulum back too fast'.


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: americalovesfear]
    #10002179 -

americalovesfear said:
yeah, fucking bleeding from my vag sucks, yer right.

however, it doesn't necessarily drip blood as much as gush blood...



Damn thats sexy..wanna guess how i got my red wings? :whoo:


--------------------
:bongload:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002198 -

ExplosiveMango said:
A jaguar hanging from a wall clock for example.



Hahaha, this is great. Why is everything so funny today?

We should make a long list of completely random things to think about when you want to last longer. Things as random as a jaguar hanging from a wall clock. We should do it alphabetically, like A -> Aa, Ab --> Aaa, Aab. Just to be special

A. A speaker melting into cotton balls.
B. McCain's liverspots
C. Mr. Burns and McCain making out

Uh, fuck I can't do this

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Asante]
    #10002223 -

Every single word I read in the first post was truer than the word true itself

I'm gonna go look at spankwire.com now and THEN feel bad afterwards


--------------------
the bigger your pupils are, the more you see... right?

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Zefiron]
    #10002247 -

Seriously, do you use toilet paper?


--------------------

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10002254 -

seek said:
ExplosiveMango said:
A jaguar hanging from a wall clock for example.



Hahaha, this is great. Why is everything so funny today?

We should make a long list of completely random things to think about when you want to last longer. Things as random as a jaguar hanging from a wall clock. We should do it alphabetically, like A -> Aa, Ab --> Aaa, Aab. Just to be special

A. A speaker melting into cotton balls.
B. McCain's liverspots
C. Mr. Burns and McCain making out

Uh, fuck I can't do this


No, just like hanging by its paws or something... don't think of gross things, it's self defeating. You just want the intensity to fall off, you don't want to have intense feelings of disgust.

Think of a train on a circular track that is attached to itself with no front or back moving slowly with passengers.

Pointless and distracting, you know?


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002264 -

ExplosiveMango said:
No, just like hanging by its paws or something... don't think of gross things, it's self defeating. You just want the intensity to fall off, you don't want to have intense feelings of disgust.

Think of a train on a circular track that is attached to itself with no front or back moving slowly with passengers.

Pointless and distracting, you know?


having music on used to help me with this as a lad.  the beat/rhythm would give me something extraneous to think about.


--------------------

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002277 -

ExplosiveMango said:
Think of a train on a circular track that is attached to itself with no front or back moving slowly with passengers.

Pointless and distracting, you know?



You're very good at coming up with random imagery. You should write poetry. I'm not saying that as a compliment, but as a real suggestion. I'd read it.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10002339 -

Not quite poetry

Just chaotic writing from a time when I put more effort into being crazy.

But it might be the closest I will get to writing poetry.


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002503 -

I think beating the jerking off cycle is something every man should try to accomplish at some point in his life  :wink:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: skatealex2]
    #10002593 -

Seriously though, after even a few days of not jerkin', the orgasm is 10 times better the next time you do it. :yesnod:


--------------------


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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: DR. PRIME]
    #10002622 -

ScYiNs47 said:
Seriously though, after even a few days of not jerkin', the orgasm is 10 times better the next time you do it. :yesnod:


yea it's like a terrorist attack

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: skatealex2]
    #10002637 -

ENHANCED INTERROGATION, WE NEED ENHANCED INTERROGATION.


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002710 -

I feel guilty for masturbating when I am high, caused me to delete all my yahoo chats. Everyone sane and willing does it though.


--------------------

Fight for a large loving government that can take care of its people, kill our criminals, and preform the huge industrial tasks our corporate overlords refuse(wanna greenwash me some more Exon?)

Not this weak travesty that let millions starve and sucks corporate cock while failing at every turn.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: doom876]
    #10002715 -

What do yahoo chats have to do with masturbating? :confused:


--------------------
Know your self.
Know your substance.
Know your source.

The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: ExplosiveMango]
    #10002839 -

Can't finish the night off without a good session of cyber sex. :yesnod:


--------------------
Word to your mom.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: BrainChemistry]
    #10002875 -

im a big fan of having sex with a female... usually that works for me.. try that out  :goodluck:


--------------------
If I'm free, it's because I'm always running.
Jimi Hendrix

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: davidcoperfield]
    #10003030 -

davidcoperfield said:
im a big fan of having sex with a female... usually that works for me.. try that out  :goodluck:


:strokebeard:


--------------------

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #10003072 -

Seek, your description of the masturbation routine was spot on :lol:

I try and keep it to once a week or so now, but even then it is still pretty uninteresting nowadays.

btw I don't feel any different when I haven't masturbated in over two weeks. I don't feel any difference mentally or physically.. but I don't doubt that other people are getting these benefits


--------------------

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10003522 -

Haha!

Can I please use that post as a monologue in my play?
It would fit so perfectly.


--------------------

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #10004067 -

EternalCowabunga said:
Seek, your description of the masturbation routine was spot on :lol:

I try and keep it to once a week or so now, but even then it is still pretty uninteresting nowadays.

btw I don't feel any different when I haven't masturbated in over two weeks. I don't feel any difference mentally or physically.. but I don't doubt that other people are getting these benefits


You do have a bigger mess to clean up though :P

:pimpslap:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10005054 -

id probably be angrier, more stressed, gayer, and my right arm weaker if i didnt nut in some way shape or form every 1-2 days

therefore, its not pointless.. and your all hooligans


--------------------
for all y’all niggaz out there that be puffin shit
when the music go on, y’all listen to this alright

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: alternatereality]
    #10005083 -

alternatereality said:
Haha!

Can I please use that post as a monologue in my play?
It would fit so perfectly.


What play?

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anyone420]
    #10005085 -

anyone420 said:
id probably be angrier, more stressed, gayer, and my right arm weaker if i didnt nut in some way shape or form every 1-2 days

therefore, its not pointless.. and your all hooligans


So you're gay?


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10005095 -

so your jokes are obvious, horrible, and pathetic?

shut the fuck up

i dont care

never speak to me again

ignored

bye


--------------------
for all y’all niggaz out there that be puffin shit
when the music go on, y’all listen to this alright

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anyone420]
    #10005195 -

What a fucking cock munching faggot.

He said he'd be GAYER so I asked if he was gay.

:sniper:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10005218 -

Can both of you just calm down... it's only the internet brethren...

it's only the internet... 

*heartbeat slowly intensifies*

*vision becomes blurrier and begins to rattle*

*reality begins to fade away*

*is transported to far away land within his own mind*

*body becomes immaterial*

*ego loss*

:cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9:

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10005246 -

seek said:
Can both of you just calm down... it's only the internet brethren...

it's only the internet... 

*heartbeat slowly intensifies*

*vision becomes blurrier and begins to rattle*

*reality begins to fade away*

*is transported to far away land within his own mind*

*body becomes immaterial*

*ego loss*

:cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9:



More like.....

*heartbeat quickly speeds up, body temp quickly rises

*vision is crisp, clear and vibrant

*brain is going into God mode

*body has turned super human

*Tweaked beyond comprehension

:twitchy::twitchy::twitchy:::twitchy::twitchy:
:twitchy::twitchy::twitchy::twitchy::twitchy:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: hpi]
    #10005287 -

hpi said:
More like.....

*heartbeat quickly speeds up, body temp quickly rises

*vision is crisp, clear and vibrant

*brain is going into God mode

*body has turned super human

*Tweaked beyond comprehension

:twitchy::twitchy::twitchy:::twitchy::twitchy:
:twitchy::twitchy::twitchy::twitchy::twitchy:


Someone else do another drug

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Asante]
    #10005312 -

you've successfully made me laugh more than anyone else in quite a long time....your efforts have not gone unnoticed....you've earned yourself some Terri Summers or Angel Dark.....


--------------------
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: JesusYodiHomeboy]
    #10005373 -

I tried to give up the ghost once, to stop masturbating. Although you quit to try and give up pointless preoccupations with sex, not masturbating just makes you more preoccupied. Walking down the street, eyeballing every girl that walks by, even the ones that don't walk by, with lurid sexual fantasies streaming through your head. It's all you think about. Unzipping her pants, unhooking her bra, kissing her while your hands move through her silky hair... knowing that if you actually had sex you'd cum right away because you haven't masturbated in weeks and then you'd just have a disappointed girl awkwardly glaring at you. Walking funny, trying to hide huge boner that's making a tent out of your pants. Stop, you weren't going to be so preoccupied with sex, you fucking meat-headed slob!

That's when you know what you have to do, and you go home, grab a towel (I'm a dirty fuck, sorry, but it washes out) and look up porn. Your dick is as wide as a tree trunk, you can feel the blood vessels surging with blood in your hot, sweaty palms, jerking it and jerking it. The girl you had on the screen barely matters at this point, you're imagining the sexy girl you saw at the coffee shop, an old girlfriend, or something equally voyeuristic. Soon, you're cumming, shaking a little with joy, knowing you're already addicted again. Time to smoke a cigarette. At least you're not a 70 year old gray bearded man that can't get it up anymore.

Edited by iamconfused (03/20/09 12:10 AM)

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: iamconfused]
    #10005384 -

Well, what else is open? Besides your mouth...when you're like kissing on some gay dude and like holding his muscles, cuz his arms just are like wrapped around you...and you feel like so safe cuz you're like, you know, not like you're gay or nothin' but God you just want to like bury yourself in his chest and just live there forever.


--------------------
for all y’all niggaz out there that be puffin shit
when the music go on, y’all listen to this alright

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anyone420]
    #10005390 -

It's not gay if you didn't like it.

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: DemonoftheDrop]
    #10005430 -

DemonoftheDrop said:
americalovesfear said:
yeah, fucking bleeding from my vag sucks, yer right.

however, it doesn't necessarily drip blood as much as gush blood...



Damn thats sexy..wanna guess how i got my red wings? :whoo:


yum.  fucking natural contraceptive action right therrr


--------------------
Spiders on drugs

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Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #10007889 -

seek said:
alternatereality said:
Haha!

Can I please use that post as a monologue in my play?
It would fit so perfectly.


What play?


Just this thing I'm almost done writing.
But that post fits the guy's personality perfectly.


--------------------

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