Home | Community | Message Board
You are not signed in.
Sign In New Account
Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery

MagicBag Grow Bags
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   North Spore Bulk Substrate   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  [ show all ]
I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore!
    #9999310 -

Well, let's not be too hasty here. I won't quit forever, I'll just space it out. Why? Because I have decided that masturbation is a waste of time.

A normal day, like any other in front of your screen. Suddenly -- an erection attacks! You briefly caress yourself, which leads to subtle stroking, which leads to... oh, we'd better get a wad of toilet paper.

Now you're back in your chair with the wad of toilet paper in front of you. After years of doing this, you don't even need to double check if the door is locked, it has become second nature to you. Getting caught is impossible these days, and there's no longer any thrill or heart racing, you look as bored as an accountant sifting through numbers. All these strange websites and movies have gone from a strange, erotic land of wonder to a purely utilitarian destination: you get in, rub one out, and x out all the windows once finished. Goodbye, and thank you for traveling with Cum Guzzling Airlines.

You begin the search. Will it be a file from your stash or some random vid on red/porn/x/[insert word here]tube? You're too lazy (and bored of) your personal stash, so you pick a tube at random then start clicking.

You find one that piques your 'interest'. Then you immediately fast forward to penises and vaginas (or any other combination) if there's an intro. You start masturbating. Boredom sets in. You stop.

Now you look for another scene. While looking for another scene, you remember an older scene you saw a few days or weeks ago and search for it. While you search for that scene, you spot a new scene in the corner of your eye that you've never seen before and immediately click it. It is not as good as the scene you were looking for, so you are about to open a new tab when you see yet another scene in the thumbnails below this scene and get sidetracked. This repeats many, many times and by now you have had more false starts then the Duke Nukem Forever project.


Your browser is now a forest of tabs, with the same logo on each one. You lean back and sigh. Your dick goes a little limp, but out of the kindness of your... heart? (after all, you've had so many wonderful times with the guy), you choose to finish the job.

Ah! Here's a good scene. Let's get to business. Business meaning to repetitively jerk yourself off with a stone cold face and dead eyes, watching a subtle variation of something you've seen hundreds of times already. Before you know it, you're done. The tissue is now moist. You squeeze a few sticky gobs of cum out, x all the tabs that were oh so interesting before (it all looks so stupid now--more stupid than before), throw the cum filled ball of toilet paper away and go about to what you were doing as if nothing happened.


I tell you: this is no way to live.

So I've decided that I am going to cut my masturbation to every 1-2 weeks. Once every friday. Why friday? Because it's not thursday. I HATE thursdays.

Also, I have discovered the joy of slow masturbation. If sex is an A or A+, then slow masturbation is at least a B and sometimes B+. Fast masturbation is C-, because it's not anywhere near as good. YOU ARE GRIPPING TOO TIGHT. You will lose sensitivity to regular sex, you stupid dick.

I was going to swear off masturbation for like a month, then I remembered that it has proven health benefits and I didn't want to get prostate cancer.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999343 -

:lol: You're right.  Fast masturbation is C-.  A 2 minute nut < 20 minute nut anyday.

I've been thinking lately about how I've never had a wet dream.  How long do you have to go anyway?  On one hand I think it would be weird to wake up with a start like that but then I also like to experience things so?? :lol:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999344 -

Having to beat the meat is annoying.  Its not even that great - its just a bodily function that gets in the way.

You can get so much more achieved without doing it, people that wank everyday or many times a day never do anything.  All their energy mental and physical is permanently drained.

The great minds of this world, the great inventors and builders etc certainly weren't jacking off everyday.

I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: truffleupagus]
    #9999368 -

truffleupagus said:
:lol: You're right.  Fast masturbation is C-.  A 2 minute nut < 20 minute nut anyday.

I've been thinking lately about how I've never had a wet dream.  How long do you have to go anyway?  On one hand I think it would be weird to wake up with a start like that but then I also like to experience things so?? :lol:


Don't be fooled! A slow jerk can go from 5 minutes to as long as you want (but I don't like spending that much time pleasuring myself unless it's inside of a woman's orifices). You have control to let loose quickly or delay, delay, delay. The more you delay, the more explosive your 'gasm.

Ego Death said:
Having to beat the meat is annoying.  Its not even that great - its just a bodily function that gets in the way.

You can get so much more achieved without doing it, people that wank everyday or many times a day never do anything.  All their energy mental and physical is permanently drained.

The great minds of this world, the great inventors and builders etc certainly weren't jacking off everyday.

I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.


YEEEEEEESSSSSSS. Fuck, this is exactly how I see it. I'm at that stage in life where I want to learn useful things so I can be a useful man. Not just to get a job, but for life in general. I want to be able to fix, build, maintain, create, and understand all of those things that make life worth living. Lately, I've decided to write up nearly all the dishes I love or would love to try and attempt to make all of them. That list would have dozens of dishes, but you know what? It's worth it. I'm tired of being cooked for or even going out to eat regularly. Even fucking sandwiches should be made at home to save money in these tough times. Even if it's a cheap ass fuck ham sandwich from the corner store or Subway, I feel like "Man, for less than 3x the price, I could have enough ingredients to make a ton of sandwiches in the future at a fraction of the cost. Why the hell am I paying this dude/chick money to make a sandwich for me? Am I really that lazy? Yes. Yes I am. Pathetic. :sad: "

Buying in bulk might suck initially, but that's why you don't live paycheck to paycheck. Fuck it, I'm even thinking of buying my chips in bulk to save money. And I won't even eat them all in a week, either. :mad2:

This totally got off track

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999426 -

ahhhhhahahaha...  that was a great play-by-play.  i suppose i never considered how universal certain masturbatory habits are.  the only thing different for me, is that these days i almost never jack off unless i'm stoned.  unfortunately, that happens to be everyday as of late.  but i've decided to work on that.  the being stoned everyday thing i mean.  too goddamned expensive to keep that up.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #9999616 -

I was JUST gonna look at some porn until I saw this!


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: Ego Death]
    #9999664 -

Ego Death said:
...I think its more of a chore.  Something that has to be done every few weeks so that you're not walking round like a dog with a bone.


Every few weeks?? Good Luck with that.


--------------------
 

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999708 -

I think that those great minds of the world's history were ultramasturbating - like 16 times a day or more. Then, on one day, they suddenly stopped and the sperm that used to sprinkle off their dicks so often got accumulated and the pressure burst a tunnel open directly to their brain through the spine. Therefore, the brain got more substrate to grow on. One exception is Mr. Hawking... But I think he has his sperm injected intrabrainously.


--------------------


Karel Capek's The Absolute at Large is the major psychedelic milestone literature. READ IT NOW!

Edited by HCLivess (03/19/09 09:16 AM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999710 -



--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999735 -

Would you feel the same way about all of this if it was a girl jacking you off every day?


--------------------
Word to your mom.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #9999741 -

jesus a 20 minute jerk sesh, I think my arm would get tired after 15. now I'm curious tho lol :cool:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: BrainChemistry]
    #9999744 -

I don't think it has any relation to my physical or mental energy or well being.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999748 -

I don't need any luck, its a choice.  One that I've been making for about the past 2 years.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999761 -

mmmm almost forgot i'm home alone :wink:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: zSDMF]
    #9999803 -

go two weeks without releasing and you'll be suprised at how much more confidence, energy, and general control over your mind you have.  trust me, it's worth it.

it's also hella easy to give in. been on and off for over three years and the highest i went was 30-something days, but wow - my life was so deliberate and enjoyable, i had some of the best experiences ever. cheers if you summon the willpower to do it

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anominis]
    #9999882 -

Really? All I got was a hardon from the vibration riding the bus. I wear boxers so it was pretty annoying. If I had some chick sucking me off a few times a week, I could probably go a month as well. Unfortunately I'm low on funds. LOLz.


--------------------
 

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: GoaM]
    #9999910 -

all forms of release count :P

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: anominis]
    #9999936 -

I light some scented candles, put on some Barry White and whisper sweet nothings to myself before starting to carress my body gently all over.  Many hours later I climax all over my own face and have a whole cigarette all to myself


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: sam420]
    #9999947 -

this thread made me lose it after 18 weeks of no masturabtion.  fuck you

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: I refuse to beat my fucking meat anymore! [Re: seek]
    #9999954 -

FANTASY.

Move away from the pr0n, or use it at most for hands-off charging your batteries, then go lie in your bed with closed eyes and masturbate to fantasy.

This way, instead of conditioning yourself to mediocre visual cues, you enrich your fantasy life and capacity for imagination.

All that looking at porn (that never precisely matches what you'd like at that moment anyway) and web browsing takes away from feeling the masturbation to the fullest.

Get lost in fantasy. Lose yourself to the sensation. If masturbation is all you got at the time, you'd better make the most of it.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  [ show all ]

Shop: Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   North Spore Bulk Substrate   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Big company fucking people over.. what can I do? Jared 2,373 15 02/14/04 11:38 PM
by RuNE
* Fuck PETA!
( 1 2 3 all )		 ToTheSummit 7,299 45 12/19/03 08:48 PM
by Adom
* Do girls masturbate?
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )		 TODAY 37,115 144 03/30/08 06:26 PM
by Ferris
* When a vegan lectures you on the evils of meat
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )		 MOTH 24,437 158 04/13/05 07:45 PM
by blackroselove
* Female Masturbation
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 all )		 Brukan 33,900 135 01/20/10 04:42 AM
by makaveli8x8
* Masturbation!?
( 1 2 all )		 Roger_irrelevant 17,873 31 10/04/13 02:39 PM
by mpd
* ethics of eating meat.......(continued from here more pix)
( 1 2 3 all )		 calishroomer 9,355 47 02/04/03 03:17 AM
by GagePLoungin
* I don't think I'm going to eat much meat anymore
( 1 2 all )		 MOTH 5,252 33 05/28/04 10:34 AM
by Barbi

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
7,612 topic views. 0 members, 394 guests and 136 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2026 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 18 queries.