DoctorJ said:
Quote: I think men would respect women a lot more if they told the truth more and weren't as manipulative
I somehow doubt that. Women don't reward honesty with tender kisses. 99% of the women I've encountered couldnt handle an honest relationship without freaking out or being irrational. Let me give you an example:
A couple months ago, I was on a date with a girl I met in class. Its important for me to know that a date cares about me and isnt just there for the free dinner, so I asked her a question:
"Did you like me before I asked you out?"
Now I've asked that question to a lot of girls, and this one had a pretty good answer. She told me she was hoping I would asked her out, she thought I was sexy and agreed with what I said when I spoke in class. A+ answer. Then I asked her the follow up question:
"If you liked me then, why didnt you ask me out?"
Her response:
"Thats a man's job."
I've gotten this same response to this question many times before, and it always infuriates me. In the past, I have responded with:
"Well, isnt that a bit like saying that cooking, cleaning, and raising children is a woman's job?"
And in the past, I always got a bitch response, complete with an exasperated sigh and a roll of the eyes. Didn't get any either.
Now, if I had been honest with this chick I would have told her how much her answer to my question offended me. I would have asked her how she would like it if the same preconcieved standards were applied to her. But I wasnt in the mood to go home alone that night, so I kept my mouth shut about it and changed the subject. Got laid that night, too 
women encourage dishonesty in relationships by not wanting to deal with the truth. They want a man that is all sunshine and rainbows, even though he does not exist. They force us to lie. Honesty is the same thing as celibacy
I've been being honest with chicks for the past couple months and I havent got any. Soon, I will resort to lying and playing games again, because its the only thing that has ever worked for me.
Wow. This is a really old post but christ doctor J you nailed it on the fucking head. At least that sums up most of my experience with women. Except I've only dated a few chicks and then had one reeeeally long relationship with a woman that supposedly loved me to the ends of the Earth and for eternity. Except when I was completely honest, then she stopped loving me, after 8 years.
It was probably never meant to be anyway, since we started dating when we were young and the relationship started with a string of lies (from her end). I was 17, and she said she was 19 (and she looked it and was really mature.. so I believed.).. I later found out (three months after we had been dating..) that she was actually 15. Which wasn't a ~huge~ deal, the age difference.. but the fact that she lied about it so easily and I believed it and had to find out on my own really threw me off. But she apologized and I'm not one to hold a grudge especially against a hot chick that likes to give me massages and sexy time, so forgot about it and we continued our relationship.
She said she only wanted honesty but I quickly found out that was not the case. Whenever I was completely honest about my feelings I became the bad guy, and an asshole. She only wanted honesty when it benefited her. She expected me to talk to and treat her like a queen all the time. She said she was a goddess. Of course you should treat the person you love with the utmost respect and compassion.. but relationships have their ups and downs and not being honest about your feelings for fear of retaliation sucks, and is not conducive to a healthy and complete relationship.
I was not the perfect boyfriend by any stretch of the imagination.. at the time I suffered from some pretty severe depression and was struggling with my own trust issues from childhood (and her lying to me).. and I'm sure that effected our relationship. But I did my best and treated her as good as I knew how.. but that relationship was one hell of a rollercoaster. When it was good.. it was REALLY good.. but when it was bad.. shit was falling from the sky in the pits of hell.
But I became conditioned to it all, and I learned that lying was what she really wanted. She wanted honesty only when it was me saying "You are the most beautiful person on Earth and also so very smart and wise".. but not when it was me saying I had a problem with something she was doing or how the way she was acting was bothering me.. that was always a 'fatal insult' and strictly forbidden. Even though she was free to criticize me all the time (and did quite liberally), and I always took what she said to heart.. but it did not work both ways. When I was honest all the time, I did not get any. But when I lied and masked my true feelings, I got it all the time. So you can guess which path I took in that relationship.
Well I could probably write 10 pages on this but I'll finish. Basically I just had enough of the mind games and manipulation, and just started being honest.. all the time.. good and bad. This was not good for our relationship. She would become extremely volatile and irrational.. the temper on this woman.. good god. And I am pretty damn stubborn myself...I am not one to submit my will and become whipped.. so it ended catastrophically.
Unfortunately, it seems to me that a lot of woman have been conditioned to think a certain way. (I'm not saying this isn't true for men too.. I'm just saying from my perspective..) They want these fairy tale relationships 24/7, but that's just not reality. If you say you're a goddess and expect to be treated like one and showered with praise and affection all the time, that's fine.. if you act like a goddess all the time. But don't expect me to treat you like a goddess when you act like a royal cunt, I'm gonna say how that makes me feel, goddamnit. But I was blinded by the regular sex. Now I am liberated. I don't have sex three times a day anymore, but fuck it.. I don't play mind games with myself either.. my hand doesn't expect me to worship it... and it's almost as good.. also a LOT less expensive then a girlfriend. So there's pros and cons. Sex is good but it's not worth compromising your values and degrading yourself for it.
--------------------
|