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monogomy; the great teacher
    #3222054 -

do you believe in this statement, that monogomy is a great teacher?

i do believe that you can love countless individuals, but when you decide to share yourself with one person, much more can be gained by this.

compassion is probably the first lesson... when you begin relating with someone, their suffering juts out like rocks in the ocean, that only you may be able to see... do you embrace this, or grow uncomfortable with there name brand of suffering? the relationship will not last if you grow uncomfortable.

however upon accepting a persons method of suffering, you bring great joy to them! its not about saying, "yeah, i understand" when a topic comes up... compassion is more than words, it is actions, also, even moreso. to understand ones suffering is to understand what they desire. if you understand what they desire, it is possible to bring great pleasure to them, and to foster joy in both of your hearts.

can anyone else see how monogomy is a beautiful teacher? (note, it is not the only teacher, just a very profound one).

peace


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.

~Casil



:cactus:

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3222285 -

i can certainly see that monogamy has taught my brother a hell of alot. He is so in love with his wife and it has transformed his life entirely for the better. What they have is far beyond any casual sex relationship and has literally made him a new and better person, So to me it is obvious that their is something very good in monogomy


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3222510 -

Marriage is a good institution if you stick with it. It is sandpaper for the soul.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3222592 -

"It is sandpaper for the soul"

WTF?  :confused:


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3222881 -

Live with someone in close proximity and raise children with them as I have for the last 18 years, then I think you will understand. You can be tested by this, and you will learn much. All the sharp edges to your thoughts and viewpoints are subject to being revised or "sanded down" somewhat.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3224109 -

I am unsure if you are talking about marriage, but it sounded like it so...

I personally think marriage is a silly notion used to embellish our illusory concept of romanticism. I do not believe anything is permanent, this includes relationships. I believe the tingly sensations we get from others is a singular infatuation between someone we can relate to on the level that we could with our parents. It is a very special bond with many lessons and personal reflections, yes, but I think the marriage between people is just a silly ritual to make humans seem more civil and moral.

Every single relationship I've ever been in or could have been in was based on some girls fantasy of what she would expect from watching and/or reading cultural drama. The temporary union between two souls is a beautiful thing but the ego corrupts it with its conditioning, and there arent many women that see that. Maybe I just need to date older chicks, eh? :wink:


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As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: psyka]
    #3224281 -

i agree with psyka that a common problem in relationships is that rather than a genuine attraction to the person, you become infatuated with a specific fantasy, and use the other person as a prop in that play. The relationship becomes a game of trying to conform to the other persons expectations of you, and in the end the whole thing falls apart because it lacks a basic honesty or authenticity.

Not all relationships are like that though, its most common in high school


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: psyka]
    #3224404 -

That is why so many marriages fail today. When the involved people realize that is does not live up to their perfect litle fantasy they bail. If no kids are involved then who cares, but so often the children pay the price for their parents idiocy. Then they grow up to repeat the mistake and damage more children. Marriage is work and often strife. Everybody is an asshole one way or another and to be successful we have to learn to work around it. I do, however, maintain that the nuclear familly is a survival mechanism that is necessary to our success as a species. The erosion of the familly plays a key role in many of societies ills. To dismiss it as a silly notion is juvenille indeed. A properly maintained marriage is a relationship that you take to the grave for you are bonded at your very souls.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3224535 -

i wasnt speaking of marriage...

here is something i wrote in my journal today, ill paste here. i think it pertains, or at least elaborates on my thoughts.

to be happy or not to be happy? that is a question worth answering to myself i suppse. ive been unhappy, and it makes me feel good... i get unhappy because something doesnt go the way i expected it to, so i am unhappy and i feel better, because i could decide to be unhappy, and i couldnt control what made me unhappy. my way of taking control.

but when i become happy, i let go. i let go of so much and it feels so good! but when something stupid happens that i can not help, like another person for instance, i just let it go. it doesnt matter. their decisions are theirs and theirs alone, and by trying to assume control by becoming unhappy i am really only letting them have even more control. the ball goes in there court. they can push me over the edge then, or they can ressurect my happiness... they have the control when i become upset. what a grand illusion.

more and more to me has become just an illusion... the only thing that is real is a person. everything they create is an illusion, everything they manage is an illusion, fabricated and held up by common illusions, maintaining each others fake reality.

but the reality, the real reality is inside.

everyone chooses a brand of suffering, and they live it. that is the basis for there desires and there repulsions (which are just desires in disguise.) this suffering is how they fabricate there illusion, its how they work, it is what makes them tick.

if you can decide to look past your own suffering and desire, to see someone else, fully, then you can create the joy we were meant for... it all starts will the selfless act of putting aside your own suffering. if this person can see that you understand, you can work in concert with each others suffering to create joy, instead of more desire.

the amount of desire will be cut down, and the amount of joy you garnish from illusion, from life, will go up.

true love (romantic or otherwise, ie. true friendship) comes when a person realizes a new type of suffering to experience, to set their desires around. if you can accept this, then true love/friendship is occuring.

how does that help me in my quest for hapiness?

its like i have an instruction manual to put together a transformer, but id rather just fumble around with it until i get it right. will i ever get it right?

will i ever tear through my own fabricated illusion and see the truth?

we shall see.

it only takes one choice... but then consistantly making that choice over and over again.

im a pretty consistant charecter, i think.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.

~Casil



:cactus:

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3224620 -

My take on this post is premarital sex?  IE one person, only, ever just one person?

honestly I'm of the mind that having sex with someone in no way lessens the sex you might have with someone later on.

But christ.  I'm 23, I'm not married, I'm not engaged, I'm not even dating anyone let alone someone I'd consider marrying.  So, what, wait till I'm 28 to start having sex?  :blush: noway.

Of course once you're married to someone..  the issue becomes one of trust and honesty.


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i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Mushmonkey]
    #3224682 -

im just speaking of having sex with one person at a time.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.

~Casil



:cactus:

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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3224891 -

Todcasil said:
do you believe in this statement, that monogomy is a great teacher?



I find polygamy to be a good teacher as well. For many of the same reasons.

I do find polygamy to be more difficult, not for a lack of love, compassion, and understanding between mates. Simply because other individuals can not find it in there heart to accept people for who they are. They tend to condemn, ostracize, and humiliate. Normally justified by a personal or religious believes. Many see polygamy as an unbalanced or unfair union. Few see it as the loving, nurturing, and caring relationship that it is.


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Re: monogomy; the great teacher [Re: Todcasil]
    #3224921 -

Conscious monogomy seems to be an aspect of developed self-consciousness. Some animals may have natural monogomy, but that is (so we think) simply instinct and nature, while humans, having developed more than simple consciousness, now work to put their love into another soul completely, rather than procreating and having a casual relationship with many.

Notice also that like the evolution of humanity, if each individual human is a fractal for the greater whole human race, the human will go through the same stages, so while he is young he probably with have casual relationships with many people for lust or attraction (like when humans were either simply conscious or in the first primitive stages of self-consciousness) but as he grows older he, like the human race as a whole as it grew older, puts his love into one person and settles down, content and happy with another soul.

Now cosmic consciousness will probably emphasize love in a completely different way, different than the prior two, in that the love that a self-conscious person now feels towards only one person, a cosmically conscious individual may feel towards everything, and he will have relationships based completely on love with sex just an act of unity rather than having a balance of love and sex, like we do now.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.

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