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OfflineMadHamish
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Polygamy versus monogamy?
    #2414499 - 03/10/04 12:38 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

About a week ago I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about her personal preference concerning relationships. She believes that polygamy is her thing, that she is unable to stick to one guy when it comes to different aspects of a 'typical' relationship (affection, sex, pleasant conversations, activities,... anything).

Listening to that I instaneously concluded that she does not have the slightest clue about what she wants and that this is her translation of her feelings as a concequence of being bored.

What troubles me is the fact that I hear these sentiments pop up more often nowadays. Has it got something to do with changes in our society? (males and females are both working nowadays, there is less time to invest in pleasantries, 'money is the thing', more shallow relationships, and so on and so forth...) Or is it simply wishful thinking of some deluded souls?

Would a transition, generally speaking, from monogamy to polygamy be a appropriate respons to changes that are apparent in our society? Would society benefit on the whole and would we, creatures of lust (:p), be more apeace and joyful on the whole?


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Valar Morghulis


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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2414606 - 03/10/04 01:09 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

well, technically, one woman keeping several men would be "polyandry"
& one man keeping several women would be "polygamy"
~
several lovers keeping it together with several lovers would be "polyamory"
(see: heinlein's works, including:
stranger in a strange land
time enough for love
friday
to sail beyond the sunset
etc...
~
for a group that is practicing polyamory in a more-or-less neo-pagan context, check out www.caw.org ... (church of all worlds, from heinlein's SIASL)
ummm, i know there is some christian group empbracing the plural-lovers bit, but don't remeber their website...
~
but, even in america, a single lifelong monogamous relationship (or even serial monogamous relationships) are not for everybody...
sort of a pity that private bedroom decisions made bewteen individuals is still grounds for serious social repercussions (oooh, she's a slut; & he's a player; etc...)(admittedly, there are sluts & there are players, but... not everybody who is keeping more than one partner is a "bad person" imho...)
~
(* & then steven stills sings "ever'body chaaaaange partners..." *)
:wink:


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old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2414639 - 03/10/04 01:17 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

What I have noticed is that women like to keep their options open whereas men enjoy consistency in their romantic endeavors.

this is a complete reversal of archetypes which I believe was caused by the women's rights movement in the 60's and 70's.

Not that I disagree with equality of sexes or anything, but it is obvious that women now have more power than men. and the death of monagamy is a consequence of this.

*ducks tomatoes.


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peace, pot, and microdot!


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Anonymous

Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2414685 - 03/10/04 01:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My own philosophy is free love. That is, do what you want with whomever you want, with no wish for attachment to or control over a single partner.

Furthermore, I believe polygamy/polyandry is the natural tendency in humans, but due to taboo and "marriage" and other forms of control imposed on society, we have somehow latched on to this idea of attachment to only person, which is ridiculous.

One exception to this is that once a child is conceived, I feel both parents have an obligation to care for the child, no matter how many children are had with however many mates.


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InvisibleEvolving
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2414725 - 03/10/04 01:37 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I don't know why any man in his right mind would want more than one wife - hookers are cheaper and any baggage they have is left at the door and carried away when they leave. If my wife had multiple husbands... perhaps it would be cheaper to keep her around, and somebody else could experience the beauty of her cyclical mood swings.


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To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2415093 - 03/10/04 02:48 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Polygamy(more than one wife) is typically practiced by wealthy and/or powerful men in the countries that allow it. One advantage of it is the women can help each other in raising children and other household chores. The disadvantage is there tends to be a higher divorce rate in such relationships.

Polyandry(more than one husband) usually takes place in the form of a group of brothers sharing a wife(I wouldn't mind, considering some of the girlfriends my brother has had). The children are not linked to any one of the brothers, so they're all considered to be the father. The advantage of this system is population control. If each brother marries a different woman, and each more sons, and they go out and marry different women, the population expands exponentially. On the other hand, if the brothers all marry the same woman, they'll have a more limited number of children.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: ]
    #2415117 - 03/10/04 02:53 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Max Headroom said:
My own philosophy is free love. That is, do what you want with whomever you want, with no wish for attachment to or control over a single partner.



That's all well and good when you've got birth control, but when it comes to having and raising kids, it's not a very effective system.

Quote:

Furthermore, I believe polygamy/polyandry is the natural tendency in humans, but due to taboo and "marriage" and other forms of control imposed on society, we have somehow latched on to this idea of attachment to only person, which is ridiculous.



I agree that polygamy/polyandry is a natural tendency, but I believe monogamy is as well.

Quote:

One exception to this is that once a child is conceived, I feel both parents have an obligation to care for the child, no matter how many children are had with however many mates.



And thus you end up with either child support or loveless relationships. Look, as much as many people here don't like marriage, it's a universal institution, and for a very good reason. It's the best institution for raising children.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2415140 - 03/10/04 02:57 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Not that I disagree with equality of sexes or anything, but it is obvious that women now have more power than men. and the death of monagamy is a consequence of this.




I don't think they have more power. Remember there's still the wage gap and the fact that our government is still controlled mostly by old white men. That said, while I don't think monogamy is dead, I do agree that it's jeapordized somewhat by having both partners working. However, my parents both work, and they're still together.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: silversoul7]
    #2415147 - 03/10/04 02:59 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

"And thus you end up with either child support or loveless relationships. Look, as much as many people here don't like marriage, it's a universal institution, and for a very good reason. It's the best institution for raising children. "

True that


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You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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OfflineMadHamish
Tourist on Earth

Registered: 11/03/03
Posts: 24
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Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: NariusFractal]
    #2415186 - 03/10/04 03:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

If we were to live in a society where polygamy/polyandry is 'practiced' freely, would interpersonal relationships and the level of productivity (contribution to market systems / consumerism / ...) be better off? Or would we constantly be depolarising our egoistic sexual self and would we be fighting with the competition for we are still unable to share, sacrifice, ...?


--------------------
Valar Morghulis


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2415218 - 03/10/04 03:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

If you look at societies where polygamy/polyandry are legal, the majority of people still are monogamous. I find it interesting how people here think of polygamy in sexual terms. Not all of the world is as obsessed with sex as we are. The main goal of marriage is children. Sex is just a fun means to an end. I'm not an economist, so I can't say for sure what effect it would have on the economy, but I just personally believe that you should be allowed to marry as many people as you want.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineAlan Stone
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: MadHamish]
    #2415400 - 03/10/04 04:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I think as far as taboos and the 'institute' of marriage go, it's not so much a taboo as a pragmatic measure resulting from the wisdom of generation upon generation.
As young people, we might consider polyamory to be the way to go, but near the end - when you're shriveled up and the sixpack/rack isn't what it used to be - you run out of beauty, and charm can only compensate so much.
Older people tend to be conservative because they like stability, a little peace and quite before the host body gives in on them. Added to this is childbirth and tending to the youngsters' needs, which requires a bit more of stability to make it work.
To me it's logical to see amorous relationships as carnal relationships, because company, stimulating conversation, soul mates and what have you can all be found in friendships, thus limiting the unique character of romantic endeavors.


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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle


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Offlinecastaway
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: ]
    #2416652 - 03/10/04 09:47 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Max Headroom said:
once a child is conceived, I feel both parents have an obligation to care for the child, no matter how many children are had with however many mates.




In traditional Hawaiin society I think the children were raised as a group responsibility; therefore a child who felt abused or neglected could move in with a freind and those interested in fishing or hunting or theology would naturally gravitate towards those best in their fields. I think more harm can come from children being viewed as possesions or chattel without regard for their individual inclinations.

OK. Let's all go back 500 years and experience life in a Hawiian village and compare life and society with how we perceive it here today .


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Anonymous

Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: castaway]
    #2416703 - 03/10/04 10:09 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

That's a great idea. Mr. Peabody, set the wayback machine for 1504 AD.


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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Polygamy versus monogamy? [Re: ]
    #2417723 - 03/11/04 03:29 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Max Headroom said:
That's a great idea. Mr. Peabody, set the wayback machine for 1504 AD.




LOL! 
I loved that cartoon!

:lol:


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You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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