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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 7
    #29400213 -

RealityGlitch said:
Bingo. But also what I said. I'd give a dude a chance if he rock climbed though. Would be nice to have a partner climbing with me on a beautiful mountain.



I believe that if you meet one of right ones, they would get in to climbing just to share that experience and get to know you and what you like even if they didn't climb when you met :hug:

I'll be honest, my wife didn't believe in love at all when we first met, she always thought that in a relationship you would always have to compromise and give up certain things in order to make it work, but sometimes that's not the case. My wife is free do to whatever she want and I'll try to support her in any way I can, what I need from her is honesty.

If she can give me that, then I would even pay for her airplane ticket to another man if she believed he could give her a better life. See I believe that if I truly love her then her happiness goes beyond my own, if not then what I actually love is my own life with her in it, but I am strange so don't quote me on it :lol:


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tryptkaloids] * 3
    #29400217 -

As long as one doesn't actively push folks away and refuse anyone who may want to be closer, there's nothing wrong with feeling no strong desire for the companionship of a romantic partner, in my humble opinion. Not everyone needs human connection in that specific way. As long as there are friendship and kinship and even "casual" romantic partnership, where is the brokenness in not feeling particularly compelled to pair bond?


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Everything is real. Nothing is certain.



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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tryptkaloids] * 4
    #29400224 -

100%!

A few weeks ago I realized my mother is a raging narcissist. Been down a rabbit hole about how it affects children growing up and the shit we do to cope with the ptsd.

Then how we act as adults. I’ve been pretty self aware of the subconscious things I do for a long time, or used to do anyway. Getting better every day.

My younger brother is a complete disaster. Has no idea why he is the way he is and has become a narcissist himself. He chooses to drink obsessively to deal with the trauma that he doesn’t even understand happened to him.

We always thought our childhood (my mother) was normal. It was far from it! I recently started setting boundaries with her. In true narcissistic fashion she hasn’t spoken to me in three weeks! She’s also using triangulation and scapegoating me instead of doing any bit of inward thinking.


--------------------
The Hitchikers Guide to the Shroomery

Sometimes you just have to shut up and color!
~CMS Wilbur

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: ThurmanMurman] * 7
    #29400240 -

ThurmanMurman said:
Gf texted me pissed off that she said bye this morning and I didn't say goodbye back. I was browsing the boards, so for the sake of avoiding responsibility for my actions, I'm making this yalls fault. Sorry...kinda.🤷‍♂️



“I didn’t say bye because you never leave my heart” is a swift recovery.  Then you get her flowers or make dinner.


--------------------
🅃🄴🄰🄼 🄸🄷🄾🄿


New to cultivation or the shroomery?  Observe the hitchhiker's guide

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery



Smellyhobbit said:
"Wiping a needle with isopropyl after flame sterilization is like shitting after you wipe your ass."

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 2
    #29400243 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
Humans are a social animal and it’s impossible for them to feel totally content completely alone.



True for most, not for others.  Most of my great moments of fulfillment are in solitude.  I won the lottery with a partner that understands that and gives me plenty of space when I (often) need it.


--------------------
🅃🄴🄰🄼 🄸🄷🄾🄿


New to cultivation or the shroomery?  Observe the hitchhiker's guide

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery



Smellyhobbit said:
"Wiping a needle with isopropyl after flame sterilization is like shitting after you wipe your ass."

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Mr Piggy] * 2
    #29400253 -

Mr Piggy said:
ThurmanMurman said:
Gf texted me pissed off that she said bye this morning and I didn't say goodbye back. I was browsing the boards, so for the sake of avoiding responsibility for my actions, I'm making this yalls fault. Sorry...kinda.🤷‍♂️



“I didn’t say bye because you never leave my heart” is a swift recovery.  Then you get her flowers or make dinner.



Holy hell is that ever slick. Bravo, sir!


--------------------


Hitchhikers Guide to The Shroomery

Shine on forever, shine on benevolent son
Shine down upon the severed
Shine until the two become one

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Mr Piggy] * 4
    #29400260 -

Mr Piggy said:
GenesisCorrupted said:
Humans are a social animal and it’s impossible for them to feel totally content completely alone.



True for most, not for others.  Most of my great moments of fulfillment are in solitude.  I won the lottery with a partner that understands that and gives me plenty of space when I (often) need it.



Two weeks in solitary without so much as a book or tree or bird to keep you company is being completely alone.

Being single isn't that.  Regardless of what Hallmark and Hollywood would have us believe.


--------------------
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with God
And I'd get him to swap our places
I'd be running up that road
Be running up that hill
With no problems

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog] * 1
    #29400276 -

:whatshesaid: you eventually see how much you truly lean on people indirectly.

For me its the second cooler full of ice :lol:


--------------------
"Remember, kids, the difference between science and screwing around is writing it down" -adam savage
Flowchart for Recommended plan of action.
Learn the tried and true way to grow mushrooms
Use the Damn search engine
After you know what you're doing, take a break 
Pick a book, Make some chips!
Josex said:Don't take the site seriously bro, ain't worth it.
 

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tryptkaloids] * 5
    #29400300 -

I don't believe any of what anyone is saying is wrong (and also really enjoy the super sweet stories here), but I think I'm going to have to agree with justaspore. I've never felt a strong need to find connection. I'm open to it, and if it happens, great. But I'm 41 yrs old now, and I do still have some hope left in me, but I've also accepted the fact that never finding that person is a high possibility, especially since I've never had a relationship last more than 2 yrs. And I'm completely ok with that.

I also don't want kids. My sister once told our friend that my midlife crisis would be finding out that I'm pregnant. She is right. But every time I tell someone I don't want kids, they tell me that my mind will change once I have one. No. My mind will not change and I do not want to have one to find out. One of the worst sounds in the world to me is a baby's cry. Sorry if that's harsh for anyone.

I agree it's a trauma response. But it's not really bad to want to be alone, is it? Because most people make me feel that it's wrong. I don't think it's wrong though.

One more thing, thank you all for giving me perspective.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog]
    #29400302 -

tree frog said:
Mr Piggy said:
GenesisCorrupted said:
Humans are a social animal and it’s impossible for them to feel totally content completely alone.



True for most, not for others.  Most of my great moments of fulfillment are in solitude.  I won the lottery with a partner that understands that and gives me plenty of space when I (often) need it.



Two weeks in solitary without so much as a book or tree or bird to keep you company is being completely alone.

Being single isn't that.  Regardless of what Hallmark and Hollywood would have us believe.



There’s enough studies to prove this that it should be illegal to keep anyone in solitary confinement. After a prolonged stint in solitary people are almost never going to be the same.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: OLDDAD77] * 1
    #29400306 -

OLDDAD77 said:
100%!

A few weeks ago I realized my mother is a raging narcissist. Been down a rabbit hole about how it affects children growing up and the shit we do to cope with the ptsd.

Then how we act as adults. I’ve been pretty self aware of the subconscious things I do for a long time, or used to do anyway. Getting better every day.

My younger brother is a complete disaster. Has no idea why he is the way he is and has become a narcissist himself. He chooses to drink obsessively to deal with the trauma that he doesn’t even understand happened to him.

We always thought our childhood (my mother) was normal. It was far from it! I recently started setting boundaries with her. In true narcissistic fashion she hasn’t spoken to me in three weeks! She’s also using triangulation and scapegoating me instead of doing any bit of inward thinking.




My mother has schizophrenia. I had to live with that for 2 years when she developed it when I was 12. To this day, I don't know if she's dead or alive, so I just say she's gone. I am sorry to hear about your current relationship with yours. If you need to talk about any of it, I'm here for you.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 6
    #29400329 -

RealityGlitch said:
I also don't want kids. My sister once told our friend that my midlife crisis would be finding out that I'm pregnant. She is right. But every time I tell someone I don't want kids, they tell me that my mind will change once I have one. No. My mind will not change and I do not want to have one to find out. One of the worst sounds in the world to me is a baby's cry. Sorry if that's harsh for anyone.




This! It makes my ass itch whenever people try to make women believe they're defective for not wanting to have children. It almost cheapens the weight of the undertaking that is pregnancy(extremely hard on the body, mind and spirit), childbirth (likewise, with the fun added bonus of complication risk), and motherhood (don't even get me fucking started). It's perfectly understandable to not want to do all of that. Only the women who are fully dedicated to the entire undertaking should want that. Now we've got all these Great Replacement jokers bitching about a "birth rate crisis"...

Okay, rant over. But yeah, anyone who tries to make you feel like you're somehow abnormal or wrong or just *traumatized* for enjoying your life as an unpartnered woman without kids is a PUNK and a JERK and I will fight them if you want <3


--------------------
Everything is real. Nothing is certain.



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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog] * 2
    #29400343 -

tree frog said:
Mr Piggy said:
GenesisCorrupted said:
Humans are a social animal and it’s impossible for them to feel totally content completely alone.



True for most, not for others.  Most of my great moments of fulfillment are in solitude.  I won the lottery with a partner that understands that and gives me plenty of space when I (often) need it.



Two weeks in solitary without so much as a book or tree or bird to keep you company is being completely alone.

Being single isn't that.  Regardless of what Hallmark and Hollywood would have us believe.



I talk to birds, slugs, frogs, and mice.  There’s a lot of great company in the woods.


--------------------
🅃🄴🄰🄼 🄸🄷🄾🄿


New to cultivation or the shroomery?  Observe the hitchhiker's guide

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery



Smellyhobbit said:
"Wiping a needle with isopropyl after flame sterilization is like shitting after you wipe your ass."

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch]
    #29400359 -

Man that’s tough at any age but 12, damn. My half sister has the exact same story. Literally same age and everything. That shit runs rampant through her grandfathers side of the family. She decided to not have kids because of it.


--------------------
The Hitchikers Guide to the Shroomery

Sometimes you just have to shut up and color!
~CMS Wilbur

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: justaspore] * 1
    #29400362 -

Sorry for your loss, RealityGlitch. Losing a sibling so young is difficult. My brother wasn't a twin but we were as tight as could be.

I've been in a relationship for 12 years. We don't get live together. Just spend time on the weekend. It works. That's as close to companionship as I want to be. I don't think I would even want this ever again if we split up. Unfortunately, I feel like that may be a possibility in the not so distant future.

Check out Carl Jung or Alan Watts' philosophy on being alone.


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 5
    #29400364 -

RealityGlitch said:
... But it's not really bad to want to be alone, is it? Because most people make me feel that it's wrong. I don't think it's wrong though.

One more thing, thank you all for giving me perspective.



Only you can determine how you feel. Never let anyone make you feel bad for the way that they feel about your personal choices. How they feel is up to them and how you feel is up to you. Nothing "bad" about it.

People as a whole are more likely to thrive in groups from families to tribes to civilizations. But individuals differ widely in how much social interaction that they need or desire and in what forms. There is no one size fits all relationship style that is best for everyone. There are some that are more common and normalized. However, as soon as some try to inflict their "morally correct" version on others, the cracks begin to show.

P.S. I used to love to free rock climb alone. But that is incredibly dangerous and stupid. Which is a pretty good description of myself then, too.


--------------------
Stoned Gummys | BRF Pucks | Primo Reusable Plates | Easy LI 4 Preserv & Propo
"Psychedelics are powerful substances. Nothing that powerful is completely safe... and nothing completely safe is that powerful!" - Abigail Calder at ALPS 2023
Don't Panic

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: ReverendMyc] * 1
    #29400367 -

Everyone’s perception is theirs to shape. If somebody has undergone a lot of trauma, and they are trying to shield themselves from everyone by removing themselves from society at large.
That is preventing them from moving through their trauma properly imo.
Everyone needs to move through their trauma at their own rate. But if your left to your own devices when what you’re doing doesn’t make things better. You could end up like that dude who locked himself in a cabin 30 years ago and never came out because he’s terrified of all women.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 5
    #29400369 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
tree frog said:
Two weeks in solitary without so much as a book or tree or bird to keep you company is being completely alone.

Being single isn't that.  Regardless of what Hallmark and Hollywood would have us believe.



There’s enough studies to prove this that it should be illegal to keep anyone in solitary confinement. After a prolonged stint in solitary people are almost never going to be the same.



Yeah, I didn't pull that two weeks at random.  Was speaking from lived experience.  It's torture.

But my point is loneliness is a feeling, and that yes we need connection with life for our sanity.  And we conflate being single with being alone, because that's what our culture teaches us.  But there's many ways to find connection outside of romantic relationships.

I told my therapist I feel alienated from our culture.  That I feel alone.

And she gave me advice that seemed pretty radical to me at the time.  Because I was expecting something along the lines of go make friends.

She said, pay more attention to the birds and trees.


--------------------
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with God
And I'd get him to swap our places
I'd be running up that road
Be running up that hill
With no problems

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: justaspore] * 5
    #29400375 -

Was reading Gloria Steinman quotes this morning, trying to find one of my old favorites.  I didn't, but I did find some on pregnancy that I liked.

"We are still in various kinds of patriarchal systems. The very definition of patriarchy is that men control women as the means of reproduction, so the idea that a woman's main role is to have children often means society wants more workers, more soldiers. The idea that how many children we have should be controlled by the family, the church, the nation - by anyone but women themselves - is still very deep and very strong." ~ Gloria Steinem


--------------------
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with God
And I'd get him to swap our places
I'd be running up that road
Be running up that hill
With no problems

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog]
    #29400379 -

tree frog said:
She said, pay more attention to the birds and trees.



I nearly started crying. I needed this wisdom today. Thank you for imparting that wisdom <3


--------------------
Everything is real. Nothing is certain.



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