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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Swami visited by the Spiritual Police
    #1818239 - 08/15/03 10:40 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

*knock knock*

(Sound of drugs being flushed down the toilet in the background.)

Swami: Who dare?

SP: *Two BIG guys in black suits are standing there* Are you the one who calls himself Swami on the shroomery?

Swami: Who wants to know? Are the you the M.I.B.?

SP: *Ignoring question* We received an anonymous tip.

Swami: Yeah, and...

SP: Can you levitate for us or walk on hot coals or manifest flowers from your hands?

Swami: Um, probably not.

SP: Are you one with the Universe, can you meditate for 12 hours without moving?

Swami: I did once watch A Star Trek Marathon for 8 hours without getting up from the couch.

SP: We are afraid that you will have to give us you Bhagavad Gita, your incense, your Tibetan bells AND your ocre robe.

Swami: Don't be afraid.

SP: What?!

Swami: Nevermind. My robe is out being cleaned and pressed, you will have to come back on Monday.

SP: *Glowering* We need it now!

Swami: Cool your jets bros. Need is an ego thang.

SP: *They whip off sunglasses and step forward menacingly*

Swami: OK already - here is your damn robe, but I want a receipt. This ain't over. *Mumbling* Orange ain't my color anyway. *Slams door*


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineYellowSubmarine
Soviet Pig

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 946
Loc: U.S.S.R.
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Swami]
    #1818595 - 08/16/03 01:08 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

:alert: :devil: :alert:


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OfflineDrubuShrume
EAT ME - I'm afungi

Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 449
Loc: Right where I need to be
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Swami]
    #1818598 - 08/16/03 01:09 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

HA!! I'M SPORTIN YOUR ROBE AS WE SPEAK! MwuHahAHaHa!!


--------------------
AH HA....


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Swami]
    #1818640 - 08/16/03 01:27 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

YOU TOO?!

Those fuckers took my yoga-mat as well as my herb garden!!

Dude you're not getting that robe back.... those guys visited me a year and a half ago and they said they'd bring the shit right back, but I haven't seen any of it; I have, however, seen one of the agents stumbling around as if he'd ingested numerous goodies from my garden..

Looks like its time to get yourself a new robe, my man - and damn I thought that orange looked fantastic on you; wasn't that the ONLY orange one they made, too?! RATS!


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Strumpling]
    #1819028 - 08/16/03 03:42 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Thank god they're not interested in the sleaze... I'd be cleaned out!


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Sclorch]
    #1819109 - 08/16/03 04:23 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

oh but they ARE, dear Sclorch....

I didn't mention the "shipment" of sleaze they "Held for further investigation."

They didn't return any of THAT shit either, so I now believe that "Held for further investigation" in MY case meant "Held for permanant whack-off material for Mr. Bush N Friends."

Those fuckin scumbags....


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,849
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 14 days, 19 hours
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Strumpling]
    #1819289 - 08/16/03 07:58 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, well, I was up late last night, posting on the Shroomery. I heard a knock on my window, and I thought to myself "Damn, that's strange, since I'm on the second story..". I feared that it might be aliens, but since I am looking for Truth, I decided to lay my fears beside me (I took them off and set them on the floor). I went over to the window and opened the curtain. A man with black sunglasses, shortly cut hair, and a black suit was sitting there (yes, sitting). Nothing appeared to hold him up, and he calmy stated "Open the window, I need to speak with you":

Well, I didn't think I had anything to lose, so I opened the window. He floated in, still sitting down, and then jumped to the floor. I took off my watch and threw it to where he had been sitting in the air, and it quickly disappeared.

The man stepped forward and smacked me. "How dare you tempt with the ripple in reality!" I had already laid my fears down on the floor, so I wasn't nerved. "Well," I replied, "why do you get to tempt the ripple in reality?!"

The man looked around, and spoke again. "That is not of your concern. It seems you have been looking for things that should not be found, tampering with things that should not be tampered with. I have been sent to stop this." He then pushed me onto the floor and kicked me in the head. I barely was conscious, and the last thing I saw before I lost my grip on consciousness was him walking up to my shelf and grabbing my Enlightometer...

I am now lost without it. I can buy a new one, and even get 50 more points towards the Ram Dass picture, but how can I ever recover the information stored in there? I mean, I had the fucking solution to Pi and everything.... I mean, who are you suspossed to call about this, anyways?
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,849
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 14 days, 19 hours
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5919463 - 07/31/06 08:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

*bump*

:evil:

:earth: :sun: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5919725 - 07/31/06 09:59 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I miss Swami.  :sad:


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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Veritas]
    #5919732 - 07/31/06 10:02 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

How much does membership to the Swami Uber Alles Bund cost annually?


--------------------
PsyPost - Psychedelic Research


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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #5919747 - 07/31/06 10:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.  :wink:

There are arrangements to have your dues waived, however...


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OfflinePedM
Interested In Your Brain
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/31/99
Posts: 5,494
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 22 days, 15 hours
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Swami]
    #5919907 - 07/31/06 10:50 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Fantastic!

How did I ever come to doubt the Swamster?


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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OfflineJCoke
dream observer
Male

Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 1,229
Loc: maryland Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Ped]
    #5920486 - 08/01/06 01:32 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

who was this swami guy exactly?

some of his post here are just legendary, where he at now?


--------------------
hello, your name is life on earth
------------------------------------

"I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! O Lalli! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart." -the saint of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition: Lalli.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: JCoke]
    #5920492 - 08/01/06 01:33 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JCoke said:
some of his post here are just legendary, where he at now?



I believe he got the banstick.


--------------------


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OfflineJalruza
Boot Lover
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 1,985
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Silversoul]
    #5920878 - 08/01/06 04:16 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I just cant believe they ban people like me and Swami


*shakes head*


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 19,698
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Jalruza]
    #5921079 - 08/01/06 07:32 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

poker champion of internet


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Mr. Dogma Free
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 19,794
Loc: The Hand
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5921229 - 08/01/06 10:00 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

swamisez2


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisibletruekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #5922152 - 08/01/06 05:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

ha, swami's not around anymore.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Stranger
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,329
Loc: On the Border
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Swami]
    #5922524 - 08/01/06 07:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

RIP


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Swami visited by the Spiritual Police [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5922597 - 08/01/06 07:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

RIPOFF


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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