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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Contacting your Inner Swami
    #1577860 - 05/26/03 07:59 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Deep down we all want to believe as it seems that the dream is better than the reality, but like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, we must someday grow up and see the Wizard (our fantasy) as the phoney that he is.

To contact your inner Swami get in a comfortable position, down a glass or two of JD to relax, turn the TV volume down a little and finish your smoke. Then think of all the people that have hurt you while mumbling "The bastards!" Dwell on mistakes that you have made while slapping yourself in the head and yelling "How could I be so f***ing stupid?" Remember that your hot lover will sag, get fat and wrinkled up right along with you until the maw of death finishes you off in excrutiating pain in some sterile hospital. Know that all your efforts are for naught and that in two generations hence, no one will even know that you existed.

When your despair is complete, know that you have contacted your inner Swami - and only then can the real journey begin...


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


Edited by Swami (05/26/03 03:49 PM)


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,849
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 3 months, 1 day
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Swami]
    #1577864 - 05/26/03 08:07 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I prefer having the same outcome, but actuallly enjoying the process as it goes on. Oh, and alcohol's bad. ha
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: fireworks_god]
    #1577871 - 05/26/03 08:25 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I guess that sounds pretty good if the majority of your life's choices have been regretted ones.


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OfflineScarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
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Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Grav]
    #1577895 - 05/26/03 09:02 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Ok now I'm depressed. Whats next?


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--------------------
We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #1577899 - 05/26/03 09:09 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Congratulations! But depression is only the first step. You must pass through the gates of moroseness and self-pity until you reach your goal of total despair. The true beauty of bottoming out is that after that, everything else looks great in comparison. Then your inner Swami will guide to wealth beyond your wildest dreams.

Inner Swami is a trademark of the GetWell Corporation


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
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Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Swami]
    #1578012 - 05/26/03 11:22 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

To contact your inner Swami get in a comfortable position, down a glass or two of JD to relax,

THAT is downright scary Swamster! i haven't drank hard liquor for a few years and just this morning when i was downtown i recieved a 26 ounce bottle of JD as a present :smile:

This is fate!!



:grin: 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #1578082 - 05/26/03 12:16 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

>until you reach your goal of total despair
attained... now what ?!

>The true beauty of bottoming out is that after that, everything else looks great in >comparison
I've bottemed out and discovered that there is nothing else to compare to, everything else seems rock bottom too...

>Then your inner Swami will guide to wealth beyond your wildest dreams.
I already had wealth beyond my dreams, never made me happy... what now ?

I await further instructions o great guru of cyicism :grin:
 


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"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: lucid]
    #1578084 - 05/26/03 12:17 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

wait, let me guess... I should give my wealth to u (in the true spirit of sharing right ?) :grin:


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: lucid]
    #1578091 - 05/26/03 12:19 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

i'm finding the most important ingredient in achieving cawz-mic unity with my inner Swami seems to be a purposefull  intent combined with a few STR8 shots of JD :grin: 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #1578110 - 05/26/03 12:37 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

It's all getting "clearer" now... I "SEE" what u mean...
thank u o wise one...hic...  :wink: 


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Swami]
    #1578113 - 05/26/03 12:40 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

The true beauty of bottoming out is that after that, everything else looks great in comparison.

Heh... Ever read Fight Club? You would enjoy it.

-RebelSteve


--------------------
Namaste.


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1578124 - 05/26/03 12:46 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

"I am the all singing all dancing crap of the world"... :wink:


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: lucid]
    #1578134 - 05/26/03 12:48 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

It's all getting "clearer" now... I "SEE" what u mean... :wink:


True "seeing" only occurs when one has drank enough JD to sucessfully separate the Tonal and the Nagual. This benchmark of spiritual progress is often characterized by seeing double images and wrestling with one's own Ally......an almost irrepressible urge to vomit :grin:

But to one who is intent on getting in touch with their inner Swami, this will only prove to be a minor setback :smile: 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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InvisibleinfidelGOD
illusion

Registered: 04/18/02
Posts: 3,040
Loc: there
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Swami]
    #1578201 - 05/26/03 01:27 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

there is no such thing as "bottoming out"

true despair is a bottomless pit... you could always sink lower and there is nothing to hold on to to pull yourself out of it... ok so I've contacted my inner Swami, now what?


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Offlinelucid
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #1578207 - 05/26/03 01:30 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

LOL ! That made my day !
I found my power spot... last stool at the Viking Pub... go there regularly to "recapitulate" and shut off my internal dialogue...
:smirk: 


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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Anonymous

Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #1578226 - 05/26/03 01:36 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

True "seeing" only occurs when one has drank enough JD to sucessfully separate the Tonal and the Nagual. This benchmark of spiritual progress is often characterized by seeing double images and wrestling with one's own Ally......an almost irrepressible urge to vomit

i've killed my tonal, and have no way of getting to nagual.


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: lucid]
    #1578240 - 05/26/03 01:43 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I found my power spot... last stool at the Viking Pub... go there regularly to "recapitulate" and shut off my internal dialogue...

It is good that you have found your very own Power spot Lucid, however for an itinerate traveller(of the cawz-mic variety) such as myself, a power spot in a place of alcoholic libation must meet 2 major criteria.......First if must afford an excellent view of all the hot young babes coming/leaving the bar but even more importantly than THAT.....

It must also afford me access to the "crack between the worlds" whereby utililizing my own "Gait of Power" i am able to sucessfully evade the cashier's desk as well as the bouncer and walk out into the "mysterious green fog" without paying my bar tab :grin: 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #1578248 - 05/26/03 01:47 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

This benchmark of spiritual progress is often characterized by seeing double images and wrestling with one's own Ally......an almost irrepressible urge to vomit

Remember that "la Purga" is sacred and holy and will clear your body of many toxins. If you have truly contacted your Inner Swami, all women will look beautiful and desirable. Another shot of JD may help this insight along.

Your final test will occur when you are visited by the "Blues". No, not sadness. I am talking about those mythical creatures that suddenly descend in a chariot with a cacophony of sound and red & blue strobe lights. When they challenge you, it is important to remember that you are more powerful than they are.

If you have failed this test, you may want to call Swami's Bail Bonds...


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: infidelGOD]
    #1578262 - 05/26/03 01:53 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

true despair is a bottomless pit...
That is what popular mythology would have you believe.

you could always sink lower and there is nothing to hold on to to pull yourself out of it...
That is only your fear talking. Let go and sink, brother, sink.

ok so I've contacted my inner Swami, now what?
He will guide you when you get there. I am but a pale outward reflection of your Inner Swami. Ask him.

Remember how Luke Skywalker's fighter plane sank in his own personal swamp of despair? Only then did Yoda appear and Luke started on his journey towards authentic power. Where do you think Lucas got this idea? Mere coincidence?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
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Re: Contacting your Inner Swami [Re: Swami]
    #1578396 - 05/26/03 02:54 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

If you have truly contacted your Inner Swami, all women will look beautiful and desirable.


Many of them already do, even without the JD :wink:



Your final test will occur when you are visited by the "Blues". No, not sadness. I am talking about those mythical creatures that suddenly descend in a chariot with a cacophony of sound and red & blue strobe lights. When they challenge you, it is important to remember that you are more powerful than they are.

Where is THAT frightening phase in relation to my having sucked back a third of the bottle of JD STR8 and listening to "Stormbringer" by Deep Purple? Perhaps i have gone even furthur that YOU have imagined possible :grin:



 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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