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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Wolfgang]
    #8012963 -

Once upon a time, I had sex and it was really awesome. The end!

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: adrug]
    #8012975 -

Good story.

:sarcasticclap:

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Atheist]
    #8012995 -

On my most recent trip to France, I hooked up with a girl whose dad owned a chain of liquor stores. Free alcohol and a LOT of wild sex. I can not describe to you how awesome that hook up was. We started out in the city of Dijon for a music festival which was unreal.

From there we traveled off to Lyon and stayed at her country house. A huge house that her family rented out to another family. When we stayed there, we just split the house in half. It was plenty big for that, heh. Pool outside, and a field of sunflowers just beside that. Let me grab up a picture of the sunflowers...



So right then I knew I wasn't going to be ditching this girl anytime soon. She agreed to travel around France with me and stay in hostels for the next month. So we traveled to Lyon, went sight seeing to castles and various vineyards. We traveled down to Marseille where we had sex on this beach..

It was her birthday and we were staying in this hostel for ~3 or 4 days, so we got to know the bartender pretty well. He gave the two of us free alcohol on her birthday and even brought out his own special bottle from behind the counter to toast with us. Freaking awesome guy, spoke every language imaginable, heh.

Anyways, then we were off to Paris where we stayed for 2 weeks doing everything that amazing city had to offer. We also had several other side stops along the way, but those were the main ones. All in all, that was the greatest sexual escapade I've ever had. Everything went right, we had adventurous sex, romantic settings, and one hell of a great chemistry together.



--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: awesomebastard]
    #8013000 -

you got caught fuckin a cow?


--------------------
Everybody's a ninja...

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: xdzt]
    #8013235 -

xdzt said:
In(di)go said:
4. ME
5. ME2




"me!"
"me too!"

ahahahahaha.



:lol:


--------------------

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: In(di)go]
    #8013287 -

last summer I was supposed to be going out with my buddy to a bar with some of his friends I didnt know. well he couldnt make it, and by the time I had gotten there, one of the girls was shitfaced. she drags me to dance with her and then just starts gobbling my face.
after about 20 minutes of that I call a cab and say "lets get out of here"... then we pass by this guitar shaped pool at one of my friends apartment complexes and she says she wants to go swimming.
pool is closed, but it was still completely lit up.
we hopped the fence, got naked, and I fucked her on the steps of the pool. we were getting going pretty good until some asshole walking by started yelling "yeah! fuck her!".
I thought she would have bolted up and gotten dressed but she didnt care at all... but it fucked up my stride and after a few more minutes we just left to go back to my place.
got roadhead on the way there... then my roommate and his girlfriend were up while we had about 2 hours of extremely loud sex.
woke up a few hours later and just started eating her out and had some nice loud morning sex for a while.
then her friend came and picked her up.

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8013593 -

you fuckers. you fucking jinxed me.

this morning I'm awakened by my roomie answering the door.

who was it? aforementioned ex. the one who was a meth addict.

she just showed up unannounced today. she wrecked her car Saturday and came to tell me. Then after a while she asked to borrow money.

I've become that "ex"... the Ex National Bank just got a new fucking branch.

It really kinda put me in a funk.

oh well. I have some shopping to do.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.


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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: StonedShroom]
    #8013711 -

I went camping up north to a Native Indian reserve, and I met this great girl named Winter.. yes that is her real name. We were both drinking and smoking green, and we just clicked that night...literally 30 mins after we met we were making out. We danced on the beach under the stars and moon and later we got in the tent and got it on! Then again in the morning for good measure...Later I found out she has a kid and that she fell in love with me for a while, though I made it clear it wouldn't work out between us... sort of a one time thing. We still keep in touch to this day though.

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Wolfgang]
    #8014345 -

you know what's funny? Tangerines can't post in this thread! :rofl2:

Anyway, i wouldn't say i've had anything overly outrageous.

i fucked my ex girlfriend in the back seat of my friend's car while he was driving on the main road through town. that was fun. her foot turned the dome light on, i thought it was him tryin to peek so i slapped him upside the head.

she and i went on a snowboarding trip to mammoth with her family. she and i drove with her dad, her step-sister drove with her step mom (2 cars). on the way back from the trip, she and i were in the back seat while her dad was driving, and we started feeling and such, fingering her, gettin a handy (under the blankets of course). good times

another time, she and i were fucking in the back of my car, in front of some mormon's house. somebody came walking up the street with a flashlight, shined it right on our naked asses, and then ran into the house! i pulled out, jumped up front and gunned it outta there! haha

ex girlfriend taylor

when i was 18, and before i swore off girls under 18, i had some adventures with this other girl one summer (she was a coworker). first time we fucked, we had partied at her house that night. we went up and started fooling around around 12 or 1. well, i had to be at work at 430 am. so we're fucking, and my phone rings. it's 430 and it's one of my friends from work wondering where i am. "i'm busy", was all i said. I hung up. kept hittin. they called back. I didn't answer. We finished a few mins later, and I jolted to work (about 5 mins away fortunately). got to work and everybody was laughin at me, "don't worry about it, bro"! "hit it and quit it!" and so on. good times.

so another time we were fucking, great night and all, whatever. so we finished, and i'm gettin ready to leave. she goes to make sure nobody is awake. it's almost 430 again, and i've got to get to work! and her dad is awake for some reason! so we wait for a few minutes. she checks again, he's back in his bedroom. so she sneaks me down stairs and around the side. next morning her dad asked her what time i left. "midnight" she said. "so that's why i saw him leavin at 4am and you're in a blanket?" nuff said.

she was a fun one. Della.

most recent was this girl about a year ago (yeah it's been almost i year, i need to get laid! no worries, next month i will!). anyway, a friend of mine met this girl girl in his math class. they hit it off. so i'm hangin out with him, she comes, brings one of her friends. so we all start hanging out (late jan to feb-ish). next week or whatever, i start askin about her friend. i guess she's all into me so it's all good. we hang out a few more times all together. fast forward to march 3, 07. i got my car that day (that's how i still remember, cuz it's on my registration). my friend was having a party that night (another friend). my friend and his (now) girlfriend come over, but my girl wasn't there. cool, whatever, let me get crunk with my boys. except his mom comes home. we're blazing his room out upstairs, she knocks and enters, and says "ooooh it smells lovely in here! party's over. everybody out. oh and where's nathan?" well, none of us knew where our friend was. he'd snuck out of the house when they came. so the party's over, and i'm about to pull out the driveway. he's next to my car trying to climb in to make a getaway with me. didn't work out cuz he's retarded. so he texts me later come over i still wanna party (at like 2am). and so by that time i had met up with this girl. so i took her over to his house after everybody was gone at like 3am, and fucked her on his dad's tempurpedic bed. WIERD! but it was a good night sleep after!

next time i fucked her, i faked it, she said it was too good, i dumped her. peace bitch. sara lynn.


--------------------
:gc:
Madtowntripper said:Or just give her a cloroform soaked rag and tell her it's ether!

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Kickle]
    #8014639 -

kickle, i must say i'm most jealous of your experience out of all of these in the thread. that sounds like it's straight out of a movie. stranger in a strange place, finding short-lived passionate romance with a total hottie, living it up and experiencing the country to the fullest extent.

fuck. i hate you.


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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: MistaUNGA]
    #8014680 -

MistaUNGA said:
you know what's funny? Tangerines can't post in this thread! :rofl2:


You are clever. :flowstone:

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: MistaUNGA]
    #8018888 -

next time i fucked her, i faked it, she said it was too good

how could you possibly fake it? im guessing you didn't come and left with mad blue balls?

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: chodamunky]
    #8019458 -

yeah, couldn't nut it. no blue balls though, never had that happen to me fortunately enough.


--------------------
:gc:
Madtowntripper said:Or just give her a cloroform soaked rag and tell her it's ether!

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: MistaUNGA]
    #8019621 -

one time while sneaking my drunk girlfriend home i dropped her down the stairs her dad came out and almost beat my ass.

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: rawtoxic]
    #8019981 -

rawtoxic said:
one time while sneaking my drunk girlfriend home i dropped her down the stairs her dad came out and almost beat my ass.



intense.


--------------------
大开眼界

:awegroove:
:fbsnugs::fbsnugs::fbsnugs:
Hasta siempre, comandante.
:mattz:

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: meatcakeman]
    #8020282 -

The bitches we met at the mattress store of all places invited us to come stay the night at their house in the middle of nowhere. We end up getting smashed on vodka and while her their dad walks to gas station down the street I take the blond one in the back room and start beating that shit up. I was only fucking her a couple of minutes and her dad walks in, I guess he walks pretty fast. He walks in right when I'm cumin he doesn't say anything. I pull up my shorts and just walk outside I tell my cousin we need to cut the fuck out and right about the time I say that her dad is behind me pushing me and cussing at me. I just back up really fast and a then I see him go inside probably to grab a gun he said if he caught me or my cousin fucking one of these girls he'd shoot out nuts off.

Me and Kenny are like fuck this and just we take off, before we know it we're walking in the middle of nowhere trying to get home. My flip flops are broken from trying to get away from her dad so now I'm walking barefoot. We were at least 20 miles from home and it was looking to be a looong summer night. We're walking and replaying the incident when a big black SUV pulls up next to us. The passenger side window rolls down and we get a strong whiff of pot and this lady and her bf ask us if we need a ride and we're like fuck yeah we do. They pick us up and smoke a blunt with us, we tell em everything that happened and they said they actually drove by their house and saw cops out there. They end up taking us home and everything worked out fine, it was an awesome night.

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Wolfgang]
    #8020773 -

make of this what you will

Chris
Lori
Laura
Rhonda
Jim
Missy
Kim
Lori
Cara
Ann
Rosa
Ayn
Candy (really!)
short, half deaf girl (super hot nympho)
Jana
Ervin
Ron
Cliff
Dina
Kim
Christiana
Georgia
Francis
Dionne (super hot black chick)
Fat (!) older chick
Lori
Christine
Cyrus
Molly
Evan (chick)
Josh
Niki
Doree

that is all (most of?) the people I have slept with more than once. Note that I have boned 3 different Loris :cool:

Also I guess I am bi? :shrug:

Have had fewer one night stands . . . if it is worth doing once, hey . . .

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: antiPock]
    #8020803 -

How many of those did you use a condom with?

I only used a condom with 6 of the girls I've been with. :foreheadslap:

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: awesomebastard]
    #8020810 -

MY FIRST AND ONLY GANG BANG

It all started on a cold night in Southern State X

Some Friends and I were invited to a apt party where bud and ever clear were in abundance (what gang bang story would be proper without these ingredients :grin: )

We were in all in highschool and the youngest people in the party.

We smoked a bowl with this really cool guy who stayed at the apt., he didn't give us shit for being so young and went on a beer run for us after the everclear ran out.

Long story short 4 guys and I ended up all throwing the dick to his girlfriend while he was gone....(none of us had any idea who she was)

Guy came back  cried his heart out and left.

Felt like shit.

Will never have group sex again.

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Re: tell your best sexual stories [Re: Hotsauce72]
    #8020825 -

Dick. :crankey:

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