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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question
    #3993450 - 03/31/05 12:55 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Useless background information. Skip following paragraphs if you don't feel like reading.
____________________________

I have a friend, M. I've known him since 5th grade. We were best friends from 5th to 8th grade. Once we hit highschool, though, our friendship became different. I still consider him my best friend because we've been friends for so long and I know that we're cool, but I don't think we have a good friendship atm. I think it's hard for us to relate to eachother.. or maybe it's just hard for him. I don't think he respects me. But that's neither here nor there.

M has a girlfriend, A. They've been together for about six months. I think they care about eachother alot, but I don't think either of them expect their relationship to last. A has cheated on M mutliple times and M would cheat on her (by his own admission), if he hasn't already. From my perspective, it looks like they have a loving relationship that is rewarding to both of them (especially when it comes to sex), but I don't think they have the dedication and trust needed to have a really serious and lasting relationship.

You might be thinking that A is a slut, but I wouldn't call her that. I think she is a very sexual person and she doesn't let an non-serious relationship get in the way of her expressing this. She told me that she would never cheat on her husband, but she will cheat before marriage. She only cheats with guys who she has a real connection with - it's not just for the sex.

I'm not justifying what she's doing. I think she is wrong to be cheating. It is dishonest to M because he obviously expects her not to be sleeping with other guys while they're in a relationship. I think that A thinks there is no harm done if M doesn't find out. If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, then it didn't make a sound. She still wants to be in a relationship with M, but she wants outside sex, too - when the situation arises. This has caused problems in their relationship, though, because M has found out. I don't really know the specifics of their relationship, but I think this hurt M. I don't think M fully trusts her anymore. This might be part of the reason why M thinks the relationship won't last (he told me so) and why he would be willing to cheat on her, but that is just speculation on my part.


I'm really attracted to A. She has always been nice to me, even when I was really weird around her. And she has always showed interest in me, even when I was an akward, quiet, acnefied loser. I think she liked me despite all my flaws because she knew that I was nice, caring, and willing to do whatever I could to make her happy (small favors). She would tell me that I was cute and that she wanted to marry me. I think she did it out of pity as much as anything else.

I've changed since we first met, though. I'm becoming more confident in myself, slowly building my social skills, and I started working out and, in general, looking better. A has taken notice and I think she is showing a more genuine interest in me. It seems like she is flirting with me every time we get together. For a while, I was going along with this flirting in a serious way. A few examples - rubbing our legs together under the table, while M was there at the same table. Almost kissing - she wanted to and was making it obvious, but I ignored her because I was emberrassed about my lips being dried out + cracked (focking accutane.. why are my lips still dry months after I quit taking it!). Her getting me to feel her boob in the hottub. I think I would have had sex with her at one point - I didn't have the resolve to turn her down. Plus, I'm a horny virgin - what can I say. =)

But now I've decided not to go along with her flirting in any serious way. I want to have a close friendship with her, but I've resolved to keep things at the friendship level. I like holding hands, hugging, and, in general, trying to be cute with her. Part of me feels guilty for doing stuff like that because I know that M probably wouldn't like it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it really.

I decided that I won't do anything with her beyond what friends would do. It would be majorly fucked up for me to even consider such things with my best friend's girl. If he can't trust me, who can he trust?

____________________________

Now to the point of my post.

This is a thought that I've had on my shroom trips and that I agree with in my sober life as well. All of us either have a dick or a pussy. We were meant to use them. Why are we expected to only use them on one person? Why do people make sex into something that is dirty rather than a way of showing love? What's wrong with casual sex in general? Why isn't it more widely accepted?

What would be wrong with me having sex with M's girlfriend, A? I want to show her love and have a great time with her. We could have sex without threatening their relationship. I'm not trying to steal her from him. I just want to have sex with her. I wish I could just ask M if it was alright for me to fuck his girlfriend, but I can't do that.

If I had a girlfriend and her and M got together well and wanted to have sex, I'd say go for it. Sharing is caring. What are friends for? I'd be happy to have an open relationship with my girlfriend as long as I knew the people that she was having sex with were my friends and I agreed. I think I could still love her just like if she was exclusively with me.

I'm not taking it for granted that I have no experience with this. I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. I know that I could be wrong. Maybe my lack of experience is skewing my logic. All that said, I don't see why this couldn't work. If everyone involved was open-minded, honest, and open about their sexual nature - friends should be able to have sex with eachother's friends with no hurt feelings.

Am I wrong?


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Offlineeggystardust
Viva elDirector!

Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 364
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3993633 - 03/31/05 02:29 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Well, for Nature's answer, I s'pose it might be to stop spreading disease rampant through our species--but societally wise? Go for it! :P

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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3993670 - 03/31/05 02:45 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. I know that I could be wrong. Maybe my lack of experience is skewing my logic.





:thumbup:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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OfflineLocus
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3993752 - 03/31/05 03:22 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

i didnt read any of this... i just read the title.. and from that i say it doesnt work because we're all more intelligent than other animals and our psychological states of different emotions make us care about others and so on which causes it to become tricky and fuck things up. so we do have that natural state of being animals and having sexual instinct and all, but we have what the other less intelligent animals don't. and that fucks it all up. haha...


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:

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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: Locus]
    #3993906 - 03/31/05 06:44 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah this reminds me of what my roommate said.

"Sex should be natural and easy to get...but it's not."


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
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InvisibleIn(di)go
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: freddurgan]
    #3994470 - 03/31/05 09:41 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
Yeah this reminds me of what my roommate said.

"Sex should be natural and easy to get...but it's not."




hahaha yeah, man... but to be honest i don't think that even for animals with lower intelligence as ours it's easy to attain sex... you have to be the alpha male... prove your strength and everything before any female of the species would let you get close to her...

to add something to your post, locus... A is having a platonic friendship with you... and to quote chris rock on this... you know what platonic friendships are for girls? a dick in a glass case... in case of emergency break open glass...

and i have had the same thought you have quite a few times... but there is always something messing up the whole idea of it working... i personally wouldn't stand the thought of someone i love going around just screwing people... i believe there is such thing as an open relationship... i have had a few and in that cases the other person having sex with someone else wouldn't be a problem... but in the serious relationships i have had i get so connected and so intimate with the girl that it would just kill me to know that she is having that kind of intimacy with another man or even a woman for that matter... to me sex has become holy and i have come to the point that i will not have sex with just anybody... it doesn't give me what i need... of course it fulfills a physical need, but the soul ends up asking for more... and when i am in a relationship the trust and openness that you get with a girl just makes the sex so much better... for me and also for the girl... and personally i wouldn't even start a relationship with a girl that doesn't feel the same way about sex... so if that girl decides to sleep with someone else i know there has to be a deep connection there and to think and realize that she has that sort of connection with someone else just hurts too much... that's my take on things... the theory of open sex is nice, but it just fails when it comes to actually using it in real life...

and to come back to the animal side of the story... there are several species that mate for life...


--------------------

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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3994504 - 03/31/05 09:47 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

If I had a girlfriend and her and M got together well and wanted to have sex, I'd say go for it. Sharing is caring.

Yeah, right. You say that now, but you've obviously never been in a relationship. Give it a try, and then report back on how easy it is to share your girlfriend with your friend.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3994515 - 03/31/05 09:49 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

maybe because people are more than their bodies?

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Offlinedrtyfrnk
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: Phluck]
    #3994614 - 03/31/05 10:08 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Phluck said:
If I had a girlfriend and her and M got together well and wanted to have sex, I'd say go for it. Sharing is caring.

Yeah, right. You say that now, but you've obviously never been in a relationship. Give it a try, and then report back on how easy it is to share your girlfriend with your friend.




I agree totally w/ Phluck. If you have been in a serious relationship, they mean the world to you. If you share your gf with your friends, you will beat him. I would.


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #3994647 - 03/31/05 10:17 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

He is a VIRGIN (hobbitcg)..........



He doesnt know what he's talking about.



Just wait untill he gets his first piece of puss, and his friend wants to hit it too.....he's gonna loose his freaking MIND.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3994664 - 03/31/05 10:21 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Also, if you're trying to justify wanting to fuck your friend's girl, don't.

If you value your friendship more than busting a nut one time, then you will avoid this. Even if it doesn't seem like it now, there are plenty of available skanks out there, and you'll run into one eventually.

Fucking your friend's girlfriend is about the lowest of the low.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

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Invisibleblink
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question *DELETED* [Re: Phluck]
    #3994696 - 03/31/05 10:28 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Post deleted by blinkidiot

Reason for deletion: Im sorry



--------------------

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OfflineDeadHeadNotLed
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: blink]
    #3995228 - 03/31/05 12:35 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I'm not really religious, but I do like the idea of no sex before marriage.

Even though I'm not married & have had sex before, I think it's pretty cool & I definitely respect anyone who can do this.

If I ever found out that I had a girlfriend/wife that was cheating on me, I'd end it right there. You can have your opinion, but I think you're just trying to justify having sex with your friends girlfriend.

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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: DeadHeadNotLed]
    #3995237 - 03/31/05 12:37 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I dunno why anyone would want to have awkward first time sex on their wedding night.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

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Offlineummikko
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Registered: 04/02/03
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: blink]
    #3995251 - 03/31/05 12:41 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)



--------------------
"All substances are poisons; there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy." -Paracelsius

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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: ummikko]
    #3995329 - 03/31/05 01:04 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

even though it might be fun, we cant go around and have sex with people. If sex were more of a casual thing than it is, there would be twice as many people with STD's. Your time will come, you got to be patient. everyone was a virgin at one point of their lives. This might sound cliche' but its better being a virgin than to know what sex is like, and not get it for a very long time


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: In(di)go]
    #3995890 - 03/31/05 03:17 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

In(di)go said:
and i have had the same thought you have quite a few times... but there is always something messing up the whole idea of it working... i personally wouldn't stand the thought of someone i love going around just screwing people... i believe there is such thing as an open relationship... i have had a few and in that cases the other person having sex with someone else wouldn't be a problem... but in the serious relationships i have had i get so connected and so intimate with the girl that it would just kill me to know that she is having that kind of intimacy with another man or even a woman for that matter... to me sex has become holy and i have come to the point that i will not have sex with just anybody... it doesn't give me what i need... of course it fulfills a physical need, but the soul ends up asking for more... and when i am in a relationship the trust and openness that you get with a girl just makes the sex so much better... for me and also for the girl... and personally i wouldn't even start a relationship with a girl that doesn't feel the same way about sex... so if that girl decides to sleep with someone else i know there has to be a deep connection there and to think and realize that she has that sort of connection with someone else just hurts too much... that's my take on things... the theory of open sex is nice, but it just fails when it comes to actually using it in real life...



I understand where you are coming from. In a serious relationship where both people are truly commited and love eachother, outside sex could cause problems.

I don't want to say that M and A's relationship isn't serious because I don't technically have any ground to stand on, but I really don't think it is. In a relationship like theirs, I don't see anything wrong with a little freedom. They are both realistic about where they are headed - and I think they both know that it's going to end at some point. Marriage is probably the last thing on their minds. If they don't have this kind of commitment to eachother, then why can't they acknowledge it and just enjoy being with eachother while it lasts?

From that viewpoint, I don't think there would be anything wrong with casual sex among friends.

Quote:

Morrowind said:
maybe because people are more than their bodies?



I'm not saying that sex is a purely physical act. Ofcourse there are emotions involved. There is love involved, too. But what is wrong with friends experiencing that together? Why do you have to commit to somebody to be that open with them?

Quote:

niteowl said:
Just wait untill he gets his first piece of puss, and his friend wants to hit it too.....he's gonna loose his freaking MIND.



I don't think I would lose my mind. I'm not a jealous person and I think I'd be happy for them to have a good time together.

Quote:

Phluck said:
Also, if you're trying to justify wanting to fuck your friend's girl, don't.

If you value your friendship more than busting a nut one time, then you will avoid this. Even if it doesn't seem like it now, there are plenty of available skanks out there, and you'll run into one eventually.



I'm not. Like I said in my post, I would never do that at this point. There was a time when I probably would have, but that was only because I hadn't really thought about it.

And I don't want a skank. I want someone who I feel a real connection with and who makes me feel good just to be around. That's how my friends girlfriend makes me feel. I wish I could be with her, but I know that it can't happen.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3996144 - 03/31/05 04:05 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I don't think I would lose my mind. I'm not a jealous person and I think I'd be happy for them to have a good time together.

If you've never been in a relationship, how would you know if you're a jealous person or not?

I wouldn't consider myself a jealous person either, but NOBODY thinks logically once they've fallen for someone. Weird emotions just start coming out of nowhere.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

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