Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question

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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 19 years, 2 months

Why can't we all have sex? Story + Question

#3993450 - 03/31/05 12:55 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Useless background information. Skip following paragraphs if you don't feel like reading.
____________________________

I have a friend, M. I've known him since 5th grade. We were best friends from 5th to 8th grade. Once we hit highschool, though, our friendship became different. I still consider him my best friend because we've been friends for so long and I know that we're cool, but I don't think we have a good friendship atm. I think it's hard for us to relate to eachother.. or maybe it's just hard for him. I don't think he respects me. But that's neither here nor there.

M has a girlfriend, A. They've been together for about six months. I think they care about eachother alot, but I don't think either of them expect their relationship to last. A has cheated on M mutliple times and M would cheat on her (by his own admission), if he hasn't already. From my perspective, it looks like they have a loving relationship that is rewarding to both of them (especially when it comes to sex), but I don't think they have the dedication and trust needed to have a really serious and lasting relationship.

You might be thinking that A is a slut, but I wouldn't call her that. I think she is a very sexual person and she doesn't let an non-serious relationship get in the way of her expressing this. She told me that she would never cheat on her husband, but she will cheat before marriage. She only cheats with guys who she has a real connection with - it's not just for the sex.

I'm not justifying what she's doing. I think she is wrong to be cheating. It is dishonest to M because he obviously expects her not to be sleeping with other guys while they're in a relationship. I think that A thinks there is no harm done if M doesn't find out. If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, then it didn't make a sound. She still wants to be in a relationship with M, but she wants outside sex, too - when the situation arises. This has caused problems in their relationship, though, because M has found out. I don't really know the specifics of their relationship, but I think this hurt M. I don't think M fully trusts her anymore. This might be part of the reason why M thinks the relationship won't last (he told me so) and why he would be willing to cheat on her, but that is just speculation on my part.

I'm really attracted to A. She has always been nice to me, even when I was really weird around her. And she has always showed interest in me, even when I was an akward, quiet, acnefied loser. I think she liked me despite all my flaws because she knew that I was nice, caring, and willing to do whatever I could to make her happy (small favors). She would tell me that I was cute and that she wanted to marry me. I think she did it out of pity as much as anything else.

I've changed since we first met, though. I'm becoming more confident in myself, slowly building my social skills, and I started working out and, in general, looking better. A has taken notice and I think she is showing a more genuine interest in me. It seems like she is flirting with me every time we get together. For a while, I was going along with this flirting in a serious way. A few examples - rubbing our legs together under the table, while M was there at the same table. Almost kissing - she wanted to and was making it obvious, but I ignored her because I was emberrassed about my lips being dried out + cracked (focking accutane.. why are my lips still dry months after I quit taking it!). Her getting me to feel her boob in the hottub. I think I would have had sex with her at one point - I didn't have the resolve to turn her down. Plus, I'm a horny virgin - what can I say. =)

But now I've decided not to go along with her flirting in any serious way. I want to have a close friendship with her, but I've resolved to keep things at the friendship level. I like holding hands, hugging, and, in general, trying to be cute with her. Part of me feels guilty for doing stuff like that because I know that M probably wouldn't like it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it really.

I decided that I won't do anything with her beyond what friends would do. It would be majorly fucked up for me to even consider such things with my best friend's girl. If he can't trust me, who can he trust?

____________________________

Now to the point of my post.

This is a thought that I've had on my shroom trips and that I agree with in my sober life as well. All of us either have a dick or a pussy. We were meant to use them. Why are we expected to only use them on one person? Why do people make sex into something that is dirty rather than a way of showing love? What's wrong with casual sex in general? Why isn't it more widely accepted?

What would be wrong with me having sex with M's girlfriend, A? I want to show her love and have a great time with her. We could have sex without threatening their relationship. I'm not trying to steal her from him. I just want to have sex with her. I wish I could just ask M if it was alright for me to fuck his girlfriend, but I can't do that.

If I had a girlfriend and her and M got together well and wanted to have sex, I'd say go for it. Sharing is caring. What are friends for? I'd be happy to have an open relationship with my girlfriend as long as I knew the people that she was having sex with were my friends and I agreed. I think I could still love her just like if she was exclusively with me.

I'm not taking it for granted that I have no experience with this. I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. I know that I could be wrong. Maybe my lack of experience is skewing my logic. All that said, I don't see why this couldn't work. If everyone involved was open-minded, honest, and open about their sexual nature - friends should be able to have sex with eachother's friends with no hurt feelings.

Am I wrong?

--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

Extras:

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