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HaightAshbury
It's a plant

Registered: 06/07/06
Posts: 145
Loc: Red Stick L.a.

2 Liner Joke Thread

#6010508 - 08/30/06 02:17 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Post them all

Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle

Extras:

Gumby
Fishnologist

Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6010537 - 08/30/06 02:24 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Good ol' Mitch Hedberg:

I don't have a girlfriend.
I just know a girl that'd be really pissed off if she heard me say that.

I ate one anchovie.
And that is why I did not eat two.

Extras:

DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: Gumby]
#6010547 - 08/30/06 02:27 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the iron!

Extras:

Brugman
antisobrietarian

Registered: 05/17/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6010592 - 08/30/06 02:53 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Where does a king keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

HAR HAR HAR

Extras:

Toddo
Stranger

Registered: 07/10/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: DNKYD]
#6010604 - 08/30/06 03:04 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

DNKYD said:

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the iron!

best one so far. :heart:

:heart:

helen keller jokes.

--------------------
Shroomery Composition Contest

Extras:

Gumby
Fishnologist

Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6010607 - 08/30/06 03:06 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

How does a blonde know she's having a bad day?

She's got her tampon behind her ear and is wondering where her pencil is.

Extras:

HaightAshbury
It's a plant

Registered: 06/07/06
Posts: 145
Loc: Red Stick L.a.

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: Gumby]
#6010630 - 08/30/06 03:20 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

There must be more?

Extras:

koppie
astral projectile

Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2,653
Loc: cloud hidden

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6010719 - 08/30/06 04:12 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

My girlfriend started crying the other day and told me: "You bastard! I just found out that you're a pedophile!"

Isn't she clever? Not many eight year old girls know difficult words like "pedophile".

--------------------

"You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of that group as yourself and your friends."

Extras:

LosAngelesGraff
Ca Shroomite

Registered: 06/09/06
Posts: 7,047
Loc: Califas

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6010824 - 08/30/06 07:30 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

what has two thumbs and will eat all your shrooms?!?!
This guy!! :crazy2:

:crazy2:

>losangelesgraff<

--------------------
:prawn:

:prawn:

:baggy:

:zilla:

Please help support cover-upz blog
http://cover-upz.blogspot.com/
Please PM me if you can help build cover upz blog.

Extras:

theorganicdomino
Psychedelic ZenBuddhist

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 1,855
Loc: Here & Now
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: LosAngelesGraff]
#6010954 - 08/30/06 09:50 AM (20 years, 2 months ago)

What does a lady call a mushroom with a 12 inch cock?

Fungi to be with

--------------------
"You've got to get hold of the thread of marching time, pull the fuck thing down, get on the end of it and pang yourself to the infinitude of absolute mind"
Ken Campbell - Furtive Nudist

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced" - Aart van der Leeuw

Extras:

DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: theorganicdomino]
#6011224 - 08/30/06 12:29 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

What has 128 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk?

My zipper

Extras:

CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie

Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet

Last seen: 3 years, 3 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: DNKYD]
#6011881 - 08/30/06 04:05 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

The first one was the funniest.

--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

Extras:

gema
Freedom from the Known

Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 1,767
Loc: t(here)

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: HaightAshbury]
#6011937 - 08/30/06 04:21 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

So there's 2 guys.

One walks into the bar, the other one ducks.

Extras:

boatlaunch
Sex Educator

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 1,143
Loc: Never You Effin Mind
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: gema]
#6012488 - 08/30/06 07:17 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Why do they call it a "pap smear"?

Because if they called it a cunt scrape, no-one would go!

--------------------
-----------------------------------
My Favorite Line: "I mean, I've had a hand up inside me a time or two, but I'm not a puppet."

SAVE A DRUM - BANG A DRUMMER!

Extras:

boatlaunch
Sex Educator

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 1,143
Loc: Never You Effin Mind
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: boatlaunch]
#6012489 - 08/30/06 07:18 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

what do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?

--- sparky ---

--------------------
-----------------------------------
My Favorite Line: "I mean, I've had a hand up inside me a time or two, but I'm not a puppet."

SAVE A DRUM - BANG A DRUMMER!

Extras:

notapillow
I want to be a fisherman

Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: boatlaunch]
#6012625 - 08/30/06 07:50 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

one muffin turns to another and says "sure is hot today"
the other one says "holy fucking shit! a talking muffin!"

--------------------

Extras:

twigz
stick boy

Registered: 02/29/04
Posts: 689
Loc: From up in a tree
Last seen: 8 years, 6 days

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: notapillow]
#6012715 - 08/30/06 08:11 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Hey ladies you know why they call it pms?

Because mad cow disease was already taken. :blazed:

:blazed:

--------------------
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

Extras:

DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: DNKYD]
#6013185 - 08/30/06 09:53 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

DNKYD said:

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the iron!

How'd she burn the other side?

They called back!

Extras:

CosmicFool
Psychoholic

Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 9,587
Loc: 203

Last seen: 7 days, 1 hour

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: DNKYD]
#6013213 - 08/30/06 10:03 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

wasn't Helen Keller blind and def... how'd she hear the phone... why would she answer the phone... or even better why did she own a phone?

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Extras:

Jfisher
fungusaficionado

Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Sealand
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months

Re: 2 Liner Joke Thread

[Re: CosmicFool]
#6013254 - 08/30/06 10:13 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

good point

--------------------
Any information written above is purely fictional.
Any images do not belong to the owner of this account.

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