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am i an a*#hol@?? *poll*
    #4494355 -

ok im just wondering if im a big asshole or not.. heres my question:

i work, my wife dosent.. all i ask of her is to clean the house and do landry.. yes i help out, i do the dishes clean up the house and run the sweeper its not like i come home and sit on the couch all day while she dose all the work.. shell do it for about a month then i have to get on her ass.. then she gets all pissed off at me like im the biggest dick in the world.. just wanted to get some outside opinons
are you male or female?
You may choose only one
am i an asshole?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from 08/04/05 12:00 PM until the end of time

View the results of this poll | Filter by response



--------------------
:scaryshroom: :shitstorm: :mattz: :bongload: :gethigh: :scaryshroom:

I am not lost.. i am going there looking for it.. and when i get there and find it, i will know what it is..

"The way to stop violence is not to go out and let your head be beaten in but to say, you want to take my life risk yours!"

"are you sure u want to eat all them shrooms??"  "yes i want to hear what my mind has to say..."

remember opions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494366 -

well, when it starts, I'm male and I vote no.


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494369 -

Explain it to her in this way:

When a couple is maintaining a household there are certain things that need to be done. Money needs to be brought into the household and things need to be done in the house in order to keep it liveable (cleaning, dishes, etc...).

Both partners need to contribute to the household. You have no demands that men or women fulfill any specific roles but it is a given that if one partner is working (and bringing in all of the money) and the other is not working, the non-working partner should do what they can to contribute (cleaning, cooking, dishes, etc..). It is only fair. Tell her that if she doesn't like household duties...maybe she should get a job.

Edited by RandalFlagg (08/04/05 10:04 AM)

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494377 -

you havent beat her down enough

give it time, you need to completely crush her inner spirit and individuality first


I'm sure she'll come around


--------------------
Goobler's
Oppressive
Administration
Treatment
Soon
Ends

G.O.A.T.S.E. DEMAND IT!

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4494378 -

RandalFlagg said:
Explain it to her in this way:

Tell her that if she doesn't like household duties...maybe she should give a blowjob.


:tongue:


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494382 -

ok well since I can't vote yet, I'd say no. Assuming that your telling the truth and you do help out. Maybe ask her why she's been such a slacker....like to me, if you work and she doesn't then she cleans the house. Do you have kids? cuz if you have kids then maybe that is taking up all her time, its hard to keep a house clean with kids making a mess and having to watch them.

In my house, my dad and mom work, and my mom still cleans the house. But thats just my house, not to mention I've been raised that the chick cleans the house, therefore I'm a chick I'll be cleaning and working.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494390 -

Okay, I'm a woman, and have not had a job in over two years or so.  (just got hired recently though!  :smile: )

My husband works full time.  Sometimes he works up to 12 hours a stinking day. 

He works HARD.  He works hard to give both of us a good life.  I love him SO much for this, and for being patient with me. 

Because I have not been working, I try to do simple things to help.  Things like keeping the house clean, laundary, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.  It is ONLY FAIR for me to do these things for my husband.  He works really hard, so I need to do my part too. 

Am I 100% consistant with my home-duties?  No.  There's days that I slip up and don't keep things as tidy as I should.  My husband doesn't bitch at me for this, he only mentions it to me in passing.  But I figure I have a DUTY to contribute to our relationship by being a good wife, which includes housework.  And so I do my best to keep on the ball. 

Do you guys have kids?  That might make a difference too...raising children + running a house IS a 24/7 job and can be very mentally taxing.

How do you ask your wife to clean?  In a nice way or in a grumpy-just-home-from-work way?  Remember, approach matters in getting someone to do something...obviously it is unfair of her to not do housework when you are at work all day, but badgering her probably won't help either.  I'm not saying you do, just be mindful of how you make your requests. 

Chances are your wife realizes that what she is doing (or not doing, in this case) and feels guilty about it, that's why she lashes out at you when you confront her. 

If the problem continues, I'd tell her that you feel it's unfair she is not being more helpful.  She spends much of her day at HOME, usually a fun place, and you have to spend much of yours at WORK, a place you'd probably rather not be. 



Just my input as a married woman!  :smile:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: Gillette]
    #4494391 -

Gillette said:
ok well since I can't vote yet, I'd say no.  Assuming that your telling the truth and you do help out.  Maybe ask her why she's been such a slacker....like to me, if you work and she doesn't then she cleans the house.  Do you have kids? cuz if you have kids then maybe that is taking up all her time, its hard to keep a house clean with kids making a mess and having to watch them.

In my house, my dad and mom work, and my mom still cleans the house.  But thats just my house, not to mention I've been raised that the chick cleans the house, therefore I'm a chick I'll be cleaning and working.


:heart:


--------------------
"You might not be aware of this, but there are a lot of dickheads on the Internet." - D. Wong

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494414 -

tell her to get off her lazy ass and help out.

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494415 -

great poll...

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: Cowgold]
    #4494446 -

i dont know why we cant vot yet.. i put the time in that i posted this post.. dont know why have to wait till 2 p.m. this is my first poll sorry for messing it up..

yes we have 3 kids.. and no you can not use that as an excuse becuase i have been on my own with all of them for a extended period of time after i got out of the military and she had to stay down south to finish up school.. so when women say "well you never had to deal with kids.." i know thats just a cope out.. so that excuse dont fly with me.

i dont mean the house has to be so clean that i can eat off the floors.. just so it looks nice.. and i dont think i should have to tell her it needs done. when the hamper is overflowing with landry.. unless im a super smart super genius to me that means "hey i think its time to do landry.." and she yells at me for doing landry/putting cloths away becuase she dosnt like the way i do it.. so i let it go till i get mad then im sure i say it in a way that she dosent like.. but i get the point across..


--------------------
:scaryshroom: :shitstorm: :mattz: :bongload: :gethigh: :scaryshroom:

I am not lost.. i am going there looking for it.. and when i get there and find it, i will know what it is..

"The way to stop violence is not to go out and let your head be beaten in but to say, you want to take my life risk yours!"

"are you sure u want to eat all them shrooms??"  "yes i want to hear what my mind has to say..."

remember opions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: Vvellum]
    #4494452 -

bi0 said:
tell her to get off her lazy ass and help out.


i have told her that almost word for word before.. with a few extra sentence enhancers :smile:


--------------------
:scaryshroom: :shitstorm: :mattz: :bongload: :gethigh: :scaryshroom:

I am not lost.. i am going there looking for it.. and when i get there and find it, i will know what it is..

"The way to stop violence is not to go out and let your head be beaten in but to say, you want to take my life risk yours!"

"are you sure u want to eat all them shrooms??"  "yes i want to hear what my mind has to say..."

remember opions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494460 -

willmafingerdo said:
i dont know why we cant vot yet.. i put the time in that i posted this post.. dont know why have to wait till 2 p.m. this is my first poll sorry for messing it up..

yes we have 3 kids.. and no you can not use that as an excuse becuase i have been on my own with all of them for a extended period of time after i got out of the military and she had to stay down south to finish up school.. so when women say "well you never had to deal with kids.." i know thats just a cope out.. so that excuse dont fly with me.

i dont mean the house has to be so clean that i can eat off the floors.. just so it looks nice.. and i dont think i should have to tell her it needs done.  when the hamper is overflowing with landry.. unless im a super smart super genius to me that means "hey i think its time to do landry.."  and she yells at me for doing landry/putting cloths away becuase she dosnt like the way i do it..  so i let it go till i get mad then im sure i say it in a way that she dosent like.. but i get the point across..


But obviously your point isn't getting across if she isn't doing the things she should do. 

This how my husband says it when I miss a day of laundary:  "Hey, hun, the laundary looks like it needs doing."  And I'll be like, "Yeah, I know it does.  Just give me a sec."  Then I'll finish up whatever I'm doing and then do the laundary. 

Good for you for taking on the KIDS!  Maybe your wife should go into the military and get her ass whooped into gear.  :evil:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: MOTH]
    #4494479 -

remember this Offspring song??? ?Man I really gotta lose my chick in the worst kind a way!!?

your not an ass :shocked:....


--------------------

sorry for my poor english, I'm from Qu?bec!!

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: MOTH]
    #4494519 -

This is an interesting thing....my dad used to yell at my mom and us kids if the house was dirty and threaten to move out...my mom has always done all should could and some days the house just wasn't clean enough. My dad used to threaten to move out, if the place wasn't clean. He's still there and the house is generally just as clean. I found tho, the less he said, the more we cleaned because we all collectively wanted a clean house, the more someone tells me to do something the less I do it, if you lay off maybe more will get done. You'll see when the kids get older everyone will pitch in and things will go smoother.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494543 -

If she's not bringing any money home to the kids, it should be her responsibility to make sure your children are safe, happy, and have a clean household to grow up in. You're not an asshole. She just expects too much of you, like most women.

(Ladies, don't flame me, I said most not ALL) :sun:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: Adden]
    #4494545 -

s2dope said:
(Ladies, don't flame me, I said most not ALL) :sun:


:heart:  :wink:

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494559 -

you probably should have agreed sometime before marriage that his was the way that you wanted it. if she agrees that she's supposed to clean and cook and shit and she just doesn't, tell her to get a job


--------------------
Kira: What do Klingons dream about?

Worf: Things that would send cold chills down your spine, and wake you up in the middle of the night. No, it is better you do not know

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: willmafingerdo]
    #4494567 -

What the hell does she do all day? Spend your money and eat bonbons while watching her soaps??

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Re: am i an a*#hol@?? *poll* [Re: Irradiated_Feces]
    #4494577 -

Sounds like it.

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