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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk] * 4
    #29668056 -

Good morning. :goodmorning:

I also spent a night under a blanket of nightmares... It's hard for me to understand why my mind tortures me by exposing me to situations where I lose what I love most. Because of attachment?

Will draining myself emotionally in simulations of "the worst" build resilience for a possible sudden and involuntary detachment?

When I manage to view myself from a third-person perspective, I shift from being "me" to being a simple subject under observation, experiencing a whole range of different emotions conditioned by chemistry and past experiences. That’s when I come to see myself as just another human being shipwrecked in the middle of this grand improvisation called life.

I feel compassion, I smile at myself from the outside, and I shed a tear for the human being.

It brings me relief and reminds me that we’re all in the same boat.

Yes, it definitely brings me relief.

Have a wonderful day, everyone. :heart:


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"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 6
    #29668057 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
My daughter died a few years back and I’ve not completely come to grips with it. Even though I know it was the right decision to remover her from life support, it haunts me and the demons  always tell me I made the wrong decision. I also go through some spiritual shit, mostly from my Catholic upbringing. And the closer I get to going back, the more I’m hesitant. That and past substance abuse.


Oh, well then it's safe to say my demons have pink skin and are slightly pissed off while yours are dark red and won't settle for anything less then your soul.

I should have remember you lost your child and I'm ashamed I didn't, but I won't forget again. Can't even imagine how one comes to grip with that. I'm glad to hear you're still fighting them off though and again, thanks for sharing.


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“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk] * 3
    #29668071 -

I don’t bring it up often, for obvious reasons. So no worries, homie.

It’s my cross to bear. It ebbs and flows.  I just do my best to keep moving.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 4
    #29668076 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
I don’t bring it up often, for obvious reasons. So no worries, homie.

It’s my cross to bear. It ebbs and flows.  I just do my best to keep moving.


I always worry about something and I don't mind it being you for a short time. You're hardcore to the bone, I'll tell you that :hug:


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 4
    #29668077 -

Does anyone here know about or has done the Way of St. James (Camino de Santiago)?

I’m asking because I’ve already walked it twice and would love to share a recommendation. My first time was probably one of the most transformative experiences of my life.

Don't be mistaken, it's not predominantly Catholic at all. It's a deeply spiritual, very inner journey, although the kind of people you meet along the way is truly magical.

Hugs :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 6
    #29668097 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
My daughter died a few years back and I’ve not completely come to grips with it. Even though I know it was the right decision to remover her from life support, it haunts me and the demons  always tell me I made the wrong decision.


I'm sorry to hear about this, Astro. You are not alone.

My twin passed 1.5 yrs ago and I was the one who had to decide to pull the plug on it. My sisters had so much hope. I think that's what partially fucks me up because my medical brain couldn't have that hope for her. I couldn't just cry like they did because I felt like I had to stay alert, watch her monitors, understand what docs were saying, etc. Her ICU nurse told me she was glad I was there because I could explain things to them without the sugar coating. It took 3 plane rides for me to get to her, but she didn't last 24 hrs after surgery so she was already brain dead when I got there. So I never got to say goodye.

The other day, I was coming off a trip and had sleep paralysis multiple times in a row. I just remember being so tired I wanted to sleep so bad, but I was so scared to.

Keep your head up, friend. We're all here for you if you need us. Feel free to reach out if you need to.

Edited by RealityGlitch (09/14/26 04:01 AM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 7
    #29668102 -

Hey Astro, you are loved, you made the right decision, no parent would decide these things lightly. None of this is your fault.

Puff, that's awesome, made my day!

Baba, I am late but congrats on your shroomerversary nonetheless.

Confession: we've had pretty rough times again, had to put down my cat and lost another friend to suicide in the past months. So I'm pretty wobbly atm but despite that shit I've managed to cut my weed intake by over 50%, started creating things again and -again, again - quit reading the news. The cyclic nature of reality and so on. I hope to keep the goddamn news out because I just can't take all that suffering and criminal stupidity.


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Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

Collection of trip reports
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29242884#29242884

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 3
    #29668171 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
Kloakk said:
AstroSporeFiend said:
I confess that I was thinking some pretty bad thoughts earlier. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through the day/night. It was all passive, but the demons kept talking, nonetheless. All seems to be better now, but I have some work to do.

I just wanted to say that you all are awesome and I couldn’t be more grateful for your kindness, humor, and straightforward advice.

Love you gals and guys. Stay shroomy.


Thanks for sharing and being here Astro :hug:
So uhm what kind of bullshit was they feeding you? Don't have to answer that, just wondering if they might have been hanging out and conspiring with my own demons :crankey:


My daughter died a few years back and I’ve not completely come to grips with it. Even though I know it was the right decision to remover her from life support, it haunts me and the demons  always tell me I made the wrong decision. I also go through some spiritual shit, mostly from my Catholic upbringing. And the closer I get to going back, the more I’m hesitant. That and past substance abuse.



God damn.  I cant imagine that.  So sorry bud.  You got my #.  Reach out any time doot.


--------------------
Need a lift?

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: PuffM4gicDr4gon] * 2
    #29668189 -

PuffM4gicDr4gon said:
Cat is home safe and sound!





A neighbor took one our flyers, photocopyied them on his own, and was replacing any of our that got worn out or taken.

He ended up seeing her high up a tree with a giant owl close by. My wife was able to coax her down.

This is the best news I've had all week! I've been on the road most of the time and haven't really been able to do anything.




:drunkaf:


--------------------
This hobby has taught me many things.
Most of those things are patience.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
The Official Shroomery Cultivation Museum
CakeWars
III

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Scemilope] * 3
    #29668206 -

A couple hundred Ravens have descended upon the neighborhood. My wife says they've been squaking since yesterday and started right back up at dawn.

I think the owl is getting an eviction.


--------------------
I've got skills, they don't know where to use me
I'm like the best dressed guy at the nude beach
Nice to meet you!

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: PuffM4gicDr4gon] * 2
    #29668217 -

I used to live in an area on the crow migratory path and every fall there'd be thousands of them everywhere, so fucking cool. Glad your keke is home safe n sound Puff. They're incredibly resilient creatures, but also sooo susceptible to predation.


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Kloakk] * 2
    #29668321 -

Congrats on TC babyyyyy!!!!!!

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Awfullotofshrooms] * 2
    #29668348 -

Awfullotofshrooms said:
Congrats on TC babyyyyy!!!!!!




--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Kloakk] * 10
    #29668455 -

Puff! So happy to hear your cat made it home! Let 'em know I said "Pss pss pss"  and give kitty a squeeze from ol' Gilmo!

Noku, good to hear from you, man! Looking forward to having you back.

Astro, I can't fathom the pain you carry due to losing her. I'm always a message away if you need to talk. Mush luv to ya, broski.

Bel, same goes for you. Shoot me a message if you need to talk. Happy to have you around, man. Also, happy to hear that you're working through that tough internal dialogue in a healthy way.

Churp, sounds like you're identifying the things that bring you down and doing a good job of eliminating them. I hope you find your peace. Mush luv, man.

Alright, folks. The time is nigh! I need to grab a bag of grain and get back to it! Summer is winding down. Cult took all of my spare time when I was at the last job. Episode two of my cult story will be a lot less stressful. I have more free time now.

NOTM/Y last year distracted me from why I came here. I was cramming too much. Hippie called it. He warned me that I was taking too much on and was risking making cult feel like a chore. He was right.

I backslid into old addictions right around the new year, and I started a new job at that time with a very steep learning curve. Most of those stresses have gone away. My addictions haunt me but I got up to speed pretty damn quick with the job. There is an opportunity to be the supervisor of my crew coming up. I'm qualified. Not sure if I want the stress, though.

Anyway, we'll see where this round of cult takes me. I learned a ton in a very short span of time last year. Time to put all of that into practice again. I'm looking forward to the challenge.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 2
    #29668466 -

Thanks, Gil! I'll keep that in mind. Ever since I joined the forum, you've been one of the key people in the confessional — I always enjoy your posts, man.

I'm glad you're able to get back into growing at a more relaxed pace, and I'll be eagerly waiting to see your results and learn from them.

Are you going to enter Cake Wars III?

Hugs :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 3
    #29668478 -

Thanks, Bel! I enjoy seeing you around. :smile:

I'll probably skip on Cake Wars. That's a distraction from my plan at this point. I'm going to start with the basics again to make sure I still have all of that down. The only side project I have in mind from the plan I mentioned is Ochras or Subtrops. I still have some pasteurized substrate sealed from when I was going to try Pans. I'll sit on it until I work back up to that point in my linear way of thinking about this. The way I see it in my mind is Cubes, Subtrop, Pans, etc are all chapters. Each chapter has multiple sections. I'm starting at the beginning of this imaginary study guide I have in my mind. That's how I see it presently.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 2
    #29668511 -

Good lord Gil, at least you're Gil. What empathy. The Captain would be way more severe.

I love my CBH but love our Gil too.


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: PuffM4gicDr4gon] * 2
    #29668606 -

PuffM4gicDr4gon said:
Cat is home safe and sound!





A neighbor took one our flyers, photocopyied them on his own, and was replacing any of our that got worn out or taken.

He ended up seeing her high up a tree with a giant owl close by. My wife was able to coax her down.

This is the best news I've had all week! I've been on the road most of the time and haven't really been able to do anything.





I’m fine m gonna get real high and so is my cat if we keep rolling joints for all the good cat news!!



--------------------
*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: JoeTherapist] * 3
    #29668627 -

I confess, I sprayed a fahtlock of pink oysters with the 70% ISO bottle instead of the tap water bottle and might have fucked it up lol (I have a feeling it was probably fucked up before that though)


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: fontinalis666]
    #29668631 -

fontinalis666 said:
I confess, I sprayed a fahtlock of pink oysters with the 70% ISO bottle instead of the tap water bottle and might have fucked it up lol (I have a feeling it was probably fucked up before that though)



:cryaboutit:


--------------------
A Seeker Seeking,,, Things...

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation
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