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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk] * 2
    #29668056 -

Good morning. :goodmorning:

I also spent a night under a blanket of nightmares... It's hard for me to understand why my mind tortures me by exposing me to situations where I lose what I love most. Because of attachment?

Will draining myself emotionally in simulations of "the worst" build resilience for a possible sudden and involuntary detachment?

When I manage to view myself from a third-person perspective, I shift from being "me" to being a simple subject under observation, experiencing a whole range of different emotions conditioned by chemistry and past experiences. That’s when I come to see myself as just another human being shipwrecked in the middle of this grand improvisation called life.

I feel compassion, I smile at myself from the outside, and I shed a tear for the human being.

It brings me relief and reminds me that we’re all in the same boat.

Yes, it definitely brings me relief.

Have a wonderful day, everyone. :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 2
    #29668057 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
My daughter died a few years back and I’ve not completely come to grips with it. Even though I know it was the right decision to remover her from life support, it haunts me and the demons  always tell me I made the wrong decision. I also go through some spiritual shit, mostly from my Catholic upbringing. And the closer I get to going back, the more I’m hesitant. That and past substance abuse.


Oh, well then it's safe to say my demons have pink skin and are slightly pissed off while yours are dark red and won't settle for anything less then your soul.

I should have remember you lost your child and I'm ashamed I didn't, but I won't forget again. Can't even imagine how one comes to grip with that. I'm glad to hear you're still fighting them off though and again, thanks for sharing.


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk] * 1
    #29668071 -

I don’t bring it up often, for obvious reasons. So no worries, homie.

It’s my cross to bear. It ebbs and flows.  I just do my best to keep moving.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 1
    #29668076 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
I don’t bring it up often, for obvious reasons. So no worries, homie.

It’s my cross to bear. It ebbs and flows.  I just do my best to keep moving.


I always worry about something and I don't mind it being you for a short time. You're hardcore to the bone, I'll tell you that :hug:


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 2
    #29668077 -

Does anyone here know about or has done the Way of St. James (Camino de Santiago)?

I’m asking because I’ve already walked it twice and would love to share a recommendation. My first time was probably one of the most transformative experiences of my life.

Don't be mistaken, it's not predominantly Catholic at all. It's a deeply spiritual, very inner journey, although the kind of people you meet along the way is truly magical.

Hugs :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 1
    #29668097 -

AstroSporeFiend said:
My daughter died a few years back and I’ve not completely come to grips with it. Even though I know it was the right decision to remover her from life support, it haunts me and the demons  always tell me I made the wrong decision.


I'm sorry to hear about this, Astro. You are not alone.

My twin passed 1.5 yrs ago and I was the one who had to decide to pull the plug on it. My sisters had so much hope. I think that's what partially fucks me up because my medical brain couldn't have that hope for her. I couldn't just cry like they did because I felt like I had to stay alert, watch her monitors, understand what docs were saying, etc. Her ICU nurse told me she was glad I was there because I could explain things to them without the sugar coating. It took 3 plane rides for me to get to her, but she didn't last 24 hrs after surgery so she was already brain dead when I got there. So I never got to say goodye.

The other day, I was coming off a trip and had sleep paralysis multiple times in a row. I just remember being so tired I wanted to sleep so bad, but I was so scared to.

Keep your head up, friend. We're all here for you if you need us. Feel free to reach out if you need to.

Edited by RealityGlitch (09/14/26 04:01 AM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 3
    #29668102 -

Hey Astro, you are loved, you made the right decision, no parent would decide these things lightly. None of this is your fault.

Puff, that's awesome, made my day!

Baba, I am late but congrats on your shroomerversary nonetheless.

Confession: we've had pretty rough times again, had to put down my cat and lost another friend to suicide in the past months. So I'm pretty wobbly atm but despite that shit I've managed to cut my weed intake by over 50%, started creating things again and -again, again - quit reading the news. The cyclic nature of reality and so on. I hope to keep the goddamn news out because I just can't take all that suffering and criminal stupidity.


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Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

Collection of trip reports
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29242884#29242884

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation
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