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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1316190 -

lol "it puts me right on the edge of a breakthrough" :wink: thats a cool line.

On all psychedelics, if I lose the "moment," and forget about the NOW, then it starts feeling like something BIG is JUST around the corner, JUST on the tip of reality's metaphorical "tongue"


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: Strumpling]
    #1318412 -

Well after another breakthrough last night, I think I can finally put some better description to my experience.

When I break through on salvia, everything feels very wrong. You know the feeling when you are doing something wrong and you know it's wrong, then you get caught while doing it? That's how I feel on salvia, except the thing I'm not supposed to be doing is existing.

The story line and visuals always revolve around one thing: the destruction of my "reality".

Imagine a society. A police-state. The law is the law here, and if you break the law it is a serious deal. Lets say you use drugs, and this is against the law. So you have your little drug room in your house where you and your fellow renegades sit and do your drugs. Now you know that what you are doing is dangerous because if you get caught you're a deadman. So one day you and your friends are sitting there smoking...and the door busts down. It's the cops.

Imagine that feeling just as they bust down the door. The instant of realization where you know you're fucked.

Ok I'll try again, more abstractly. This has to do with my perception of "reality" and it's true nature while on salvia.

Imagine all of "reality" is a smooth block of plastic. Now imagine a small burr sticking out of the block. A scratch in the plastic. That burr is me. The burr is my "reality" and existence away from the smooth uniform block. The scratch isn't supposed to be there, though, is it? It's a deformity in the otherwise smooth block. This is what I understand my existence to be (while on salvia, of course). I should not exist in the same way that the burr should not exist. Get it?

So I'm breaking through and all this crazy story line is going on leading up to The End.

It's funny sometimes. My friends (or at least whoever i see at the time) will get very upset with me over the fact that I just can't seem to handle the destruction of reality. They seem fine with it. I'm not though, I usually panic. They get embarrased that I'm making such a fuss. "Sit down man! This is supposed to happen" is something they might say. It's all very strange while it's happening. I'm freaking out while the room tears apart, and my hallucinations are telling me to calm the fuck down cause it will all be ok.

I tried explaining all this last night while I was coming down, but I think I lost everyone somewhere in my explanation. I know this is a lot of rambling, but hopefully I can get just one of you to understand what I'm talking about here. It's annoying the shit out of me that no one can seem to understand exactly what I'm talking about.  :smirk: 


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1318605 -

It doesn't mean your not supposed to exist, but maybe your current lifestyle is like that burr on the cube. Maybe you just need to step back and see how you could change so that you're not a burr anymore. Salvia is just showing you that you can become better than you are right now. The confusion arises because maybe you don't want to change. Salvia seems to give everyone a personalized message according to whats going on in each individuals life.


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"The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain and everything is changeable."

Edited by peruvian spark (02/19/03 05:59 AM)

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1319003 -

trendal, your experience sounds very close to mine. I think I understand better what I was experiencing/feeling after reading your post. Just one thing about your friends, do they have the same number of breakthrough experiences under their belts? I think the experiences get more intense and the message becomes clearer after subsequent breakthroughs. I believe Salvia may be telling us that we have constructed this reality and exist within it because we can not face the true nature of existence. Maybe it is too chaotic and we feel we must give it some stability. I know exactly what you mean about that 'I've just been caught doing something wrong and now I'm fucked for eternity feeling'. Anyway, it was nice reading your post, could really relate to it.

*edit* Oh yeah, Salvia also made me realize this...

"...the universe is a thought process. It is composed of nothing but thoughts, or concepts. Some physicists have tentatively and reluctantly suggested that theory and experiments are pointing to this conclusion." A Pure-Consciousness Model of the Universe by Richard P. Dolan



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An optimist is never pleasantly surprised.

Edited by rhizo (02/19/03 02:07 PM)

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: rhizo]
    #1319437 -

I don't think any of my friends have broken through yet. Some of them seem to come very close, but not quite.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: rhizo]
    #1319536 -

I ignited a bowl of 10x extract in my car with a close buddy of mine watching me, while listening to atmosphere by Joy Division. What followed was truly strange and mind boggling. I finished the bowl after smoking very fast and holding it very deep. The next thing I know, a wave of terror came over me. Not just ordinary terror, the most scary experience of my life. This terror was in the form of a female being. She came over me and held me in her grips for only a few seconds, but it was overwhelming.

After I felt this fear, I changed into a different person immediately, I started laughing hysterically and was filled with evil, terrifying thoughts. I couldn't control them and I became this person. My friend told me I stepped out of the car and fell to the ground, laughing hysterically and saying some pretty messed up stuff about my death and killing others.

I don't know what to make of these experience, except that it was an experience i'll never forget. In a way it was quite refreshing being scared out of my mind. (literally)

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1320487 -

"The story line and visuals always revolve around one thing: the destruction of my "reality"."

Yes thats the "boundary dissolution" that McKenna was so intent on getting across :smile:

Your boundaries are fading..... hopefully you'll start to realize that as long as you actually stand up and act, you really can do almost anything :wink:


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1320772 -

"Don't be a pussy, the destruction of reality is SUPPOSED to happen, don't make a big deal out of it..."

YEAH RIGHT!!! The Destruction of the Everything & All, Ego Death and all that good shit isn't for everybody. It really isn't. I could finger like 10 non-drug people whom I know whoul'd crumble & shatter.

It's nothing for ME too & I'm willing to defend that. Alexander Shulgin, the inventor of 99% of all Psychedelics in existence who trips like x times a month for decades is with me on this. I've seen people get deeply into the Divine on a joint of Grass and I've seen "4x Egodeath & Beyond a year" dudes that were complete assholes, flatter than a frying pan Spiritually. Giving up everything & diving headfirst into the Unknown? Nope: not my cup of tea at all. I've got this tremendous instinct it isn't good for me so I steer clear of it.

Someone said: The Carnival Screams, the Teacher Whispers.

I find this to be true with Psychedelics. I take low doses. I have taken 250 mcg of LSD in the past (as strong as 8 grams of regular street shrooms) and allthough I yearn for the sheer beauty of it I'll never take as much again, as the average 1gr of street cubensis deemed mindnumbingly boring by the vast majority of shroomers in the right set & setting are WAY MORE instructive & a Growth Experience to me than that All Good, Deep Fry, Skyflying Monsterdose.

But: DO NOT get hung up on thoughts like you don't belong here, you're not "worthy" etc. Everything is equally valuable and essential: YOU TOO.
I truely believe that if you ceased to exist (not die but vanish from the fabric of the All) the Universe, God, would collapse in on Itself and there'll be nothing left than the Total Void. The message has to be different.
You are ESSENTIAL.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: Asante]
    #1322026 -

If I were to put real belief into my salvia experiences...none of you would be real. You are all part of the plot that is my false existence! Muahahahahaha!

:smirk:


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1322063 -

"everything feels very wrong"


although i only have one trip into salvia, and it wasnt quite a breakthrough, i too felt this theme.... the best way i could describe it is walking into a bar and having the music stop, and all eyes on you. just an overwhelming fearfull and anxious feeling of not knowing how your going to get out of this situation...i loved it! :grin: 


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how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 

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Re: What has Salvia taught you? [Re: trendal]
    #1325005 -

Life is a joke.


.......Laugh with us.  :laugh:


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?


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