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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: A Totally Harmless Belief - Barney Vs. Parental Attention.... [Re: Zekebomb]
    #3809525 - 02/21/05 01:34 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

I understand, a lot of adults, especially dads, just don't vibe with the whole Barney thing. How bout Whinnie the Pooh?

It doesn't matter so much where they get the examples and teachings for caring about things, showwing respect, sharing and taking turns, just that they do. I have found with my daughter, she is quicker to learn from the examples her peers set then by me setting the same one.

She saw me using the potty. Her diaper she would not part with until she saw her friend Kelsey do it. She saw me swim without water wings and hers would not come off until Kelsey took hers off. She saw me riding a bike without training wheels. She wouldn't part with hers until Kayla did.

Bottom line is, they naturally identify with little people who look more like them and they more readily make comparisons of what they can expect to be or should be doing.

Realizing the nature of children to look to their peers is something you can use to your advantage when you want them to learn something by example and what you DON'T want them to learn and what peer examples to keep them away from while they are developing a sense of self and appropriate behavior.

The day also comes where you don't have full control over peer examples and that's why you got to get appropriate behavior down and in and hard from birth. If you think you can do when they are 13, its a tad to late without tremendous struggles.

To date, I haven't had a power struggle with my daughter either and shes 8, she trusts me. I hope to maintain this as she moves into her teen years.

The trust comes from the follow through and consistency. When you say you are going to do something, you better mean it or don't say it and then follow through if you did.

NEVER let them catch you lying and stear clear from using manipulation tactics on them when young or they will be using the same ones on you by age 4.

Always let them know that whatever decisions you are making for them is because you love, care for and respect them. Let them know that this is also how they can love, care and respect for themselves and others and that the should. Every moment is a teaching moment for self love, care, respect and showing the same for others.

Self love and respect creates its own self discipline. I've seen it work beautifully and at best have maybe had to go into a stern voice.

That spanking stuff is just crap. All it does is teach a child that when they loose control and patience and want to make someone do what they say, they should hit them. That's how bullies are made.

Not only that, how can a child believe a parent cares about them when they are the ones hurting them? Fat chance at establishing trust that when you instruct them to do what you do because you care they don't get hurt. They won't beleive you and they will keep running right out into a busy street.

As parents we are the ones they put their trust for their safety in. If we are the ones hurting them, what do they have? They will grow and develop in a very insecure environment. Not the way to go for helping them to develop a healthy self esteem and self confidence and security in life.

If you parents treat you like something so valueless its okay to abuse, where is a healthy sense of self worth going to come from? Kids will grow to think they deserve to be treated like shit and let others treat them like shit.

Who wants to see their children be treated like shit by others? If not, then they need to watch how they are raising them to become accustomed to being treated.

Research even showed that children who are hit develop defensive hard wiring and makes them less receptive in school because their brains are wired to be on the defense, not reception.

Sorry for writing all this, its just a topic, one of the few, I am passionate about.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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OfflinePhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
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Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
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Last seen: 15 years, 30 days
Re: A Totally Harmless Belief - Barney Vs. Parental Attention.... [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3809543 - 02/21/05 01:41 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
I understand, a lot of adults, especially dads, just don't vibe with the whole Barney thing. How bout Whinnie the Pooh?




Anything/anybody named after "Pooo" is kewl~ in my book....!  :thumbup:

:grin:


>^;;^<


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<

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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Registered: 04/09/04
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Last seen: 8 months, 11 days
Re: A Totally Harmless Belief - Barney Vs. Parental Attention.... [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #3811379 - 02/21/05 02:23 PM (19 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

PhanTomCat said:
Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
I understand, a lot of adults, especially dads, just don't vibe with the whole Barney thing. How bout Whinnie the Pooh?




Anything/anybody named after "Pooo" is kewl~ in my book....!  :thumbup:

:grin:


>^;;^<




Hehe


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

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OfflineZekebomb
sociophagus

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 1,164
Loc: BC province
Last seen: 16 years, 5 months
Re: A Totally Harmless Belief - Barney Vs. Parental Attention.... [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3811581 - 02/21/05 03:09 PM (19 years, 30 days ago)

I am definitely a proponent of Winne the Pooh. anyone read the Tao of Pooh? kinda fluffy but also cool. but the main coolness of Pooh is the original A. A. Milne books. not so much the Disney fluff

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OfflineMushmonkey
shiftlesslayabout
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Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,867
Last seen: 5 months, 5 hours
Re: A Totally Harmless Belief [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3813660 - 02/21/05 08:59 PM (19 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

Is paranoia a harmless place to be? Some parent might keep guns in the house to protect their children from intruders and then a kid accidental gets shot playing with the gun.




fyi though, it's irresponsible to leave loaded weapons around with children in the picture, or to leave a gun and ammo in close proximity to eachother..  but it's more irresponsible than any of that to not beat into your own children that guns are never, ever, ever to be considered a toy.

i'd wager that any kid that plays with a gun and shoots themself, could have been stopped had their parents not been so fearful of guns themselves that they thought it a totally inappropriate issue to teach their child the ins and outs of.. and mostly the outs.  you need to know what not to do with a gun long before it matters if you know what to do with a gun.

uhh ya i'm off topic.  i win.


Winnie the Pooh is a win..  Tao of Pooh's great, too :laugh:


--------------------
i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.

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