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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef] * 2
    #29653275 -

Zef said:
Shit that's brutal brother :|, all that time and effort

I must confess I now feel like a genius for making blue agar that looks green now that it's mixed in with the grain :sad:



As the mycelium eats it's way through the agar it will lighten up in colors.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: DV8DUG] * 6
    #29653286 -

Damn, it sure does feel good to come and see some of y'all on here. Hi there, my old friends!

Confession: I'm scared to read my messages but I don't know why. I don't know why the thought of it is giving me anxiety. So if you've messaged me since I disappeared (again), I'm really, really sorry and I'm not purposely ignoring anyone.

On a better note... look what I did!



(Btw, thanks Beef for helping me come back here even though you didn't know or intended to.)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: RealityGlitch] * 1
    #29653288 -

Well hot damn, thank you for gracing us with your presence!  Always a pleasure to see you posting.  And jesus, thems some nice dongs.


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Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29653291 -

Hey glitch.  Very nice to see you! :hug:  And nice shroomies  baaaby.  Hot damn those look nice af.



Hope to see you around more often.


And no worries. We all need breaks.  Its the fact that you came back that matters. 

You didnt forgot about us.  And we definitely dint forget about you.



Answer those messages.  Im sure everyone will be excited to finally hear from you.  I know I would. :hatsoff:


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 4
    #29653304 -

callmehippie said:
You didnt forgot about us.  And we definitely dint forget about you.



Answer those messages.  Im sure everyone will be excited to finally hear from you.  I know I would. :hatsoff:




I have actually thought about you guys quite a bit since I've been gone. Always thinking I need to come back, but ok I'll do it tomorrow. And tomorrow comes but then I'm like, I'll do it tomorrow. You get the jist. My social just ain't socializing.

My anxiety is bad right now. Anger is short and uncontrollable. Therapist says I'm going through chronic grief and wants to put me on antidepressants. I told him I didn't want it (I like my trips, but he doesn't know that). Researched ketamine therapy but holy shit it's expensive. And I know at least one of my messages talks about therapy and would be super beneficial for me to read, but I'll go look at it tomorrow...

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: RealityGlitch]
    #29653307 -

You can miss the shenanigans and live with it but the Hijinx that's the stuff you're gonna regret not being part of.
:smugjerry:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 2
    #29653308 -

ketamine isn't that expensive. 

Look at https://themindscape.com/

Take you about 20 minutes to get a scrip.  Get the highest dose possible.  Worst thing that can happen is it doesn't work out for you.


--------------------
Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: RealityGlitch] * 1
    #29653310 -

Welcome back:hug::mushroom2:wishing you all the best in the pursuit of bettering yourself. It's always a pleasure when you stop in. Regardless of the frequency, you've got a home here amongst the community:mushroom2:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29653312 -

BeefExtreme said:
ketamine isn't that expensive. 

Look at https://themindscape.com/

Take you about 20 minutes to get a scrip.  Get the highest dose possible.  Worst thing that can happen is it doesn't work out for you.



I confess
I still haven't gotten to try really good pure LSD and I am jazzed that I'm gonna get that opportunity at some point.
It just needs to present itself.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Agar Wedge] * 1
    #29653316 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
:smugjerry:



He looks like he's trying to poop.

BeefExtreme said:
ketamine isn't that expensive. 

Look at https://themindscape.com/

Take you about 20 minutes to get a scrip.  Get the highest dose possible.  Worst thing that can happen is it doesn't work out for you.



Oh, I thought I was supposed to be in a room with a medical professional. Those are the ones I've been looking at. I'll check your link.

Agar Wedge said:
Welcome back:hug::mushroom2:wishing you all the best in the pursuit of bettering yourself. It's always a pleasure when you stop in. Regardless of the frequency, you've got a home here amongst the community:mushroom2:



You guys have always been good to me here. :hug: Thank you for the warm welcome back!

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29653331 -

Does medical cover that? 250 a month lwk seems hella expensive


--------------------





An enigma some caerulescens n a mono 😎

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: RealityGlitch] * 2
    #29653343 -

RealityGlitch said:
Damn, it sure does feel good to come and see some of y'all on here. Hi there, my old friends!

Confession: I'm scared to read my messages but I don't know why. I don't know why the thought of it is giving me anxiety. So if you've messaged me since I disappeared (again), I'm really, really sorry and I'm not purposely ignoring anyone.

On a better note... look what I did!



(Btw, thanks Beef for helping me come back here even though you didn't know or intended to.)



First of all, those are some big ass mushrooms, nicely done!

I'm just gonna post the one from me because it's specifically about forgiving ourselves for this exact thing and also includes relevant coupons.

Quote:
Anyway, was just going through my messages and thought of you.

And also thought of a story about how one time I had this email that I kept meaning to get to. This person was important to me, you see, and out of respect for them, I wanted to reply to their message. Which is why I kept it marked unread, and floated to the top of my inbox. So that I could give it the attention I sincerely believed that it deserved. Eventually. Until one day, in about 2022 or so, I looked closer and saw that it was sent in 2019. Slightly missed the boat on whatever that was. Paved with good intentions indeed! I had made a light thing heavy and carried it a rather long way. Oops.

ALL THAT TO SAY.

I hope you're well, but don't worry about replying or revisiting any of that crap if it's not the vibe anymore. At the risk of (read: in the present act of) projecting, certain brains tend to dwell on such things, stacking small cairns of aversion in places that ought be swept clean with joy. The org is certainly one such surface.

So don't be stackin no small rocks about replying. We do what we can. Some days are fucking difficult.

All the best.

[redacted tangent]

TAKE CARE BYEEEEEE

attachment: [[ 100 free coupons for not replying to this email cause fuck it. Expires 20 April 2077 ]]



I do this constantly and it is debilitating as fuck, preemptively imagining rejection or anger from others and then using it as a stick to hit myself even though this other party has not actually done anything like that, they just could, and then avoiding the situation which inflates the fantasy landmine. It's a doozy.

Popping the balloon hurts far less than the state of permanent tension at the thought that it might pop. But of course this is easier said than done, I don't walk the talk on this very well.

But this lil confessional crew we got going seems particularly understanding about this exact thing. I think you're among peers here. This is the secret garden where you can just.. take the heavy backpack off. It's allowed, but not mandatory, which is the best, because it's okay if you do but it's also okay if you don't, so it's impossible to lose. Great feeling.=

--

A few times today I've been checking in and seeing if I can pay attention to the sensation of wherever my body makes contact with the ground. Meditating is hard as shit.


--------------------
.~`  𝔅 𝔞 𝔤 𝔢 𝔩  🥯  𝔅 𝔦 𝔱 𝔢 𝔰  `~.
:salute: CAKE WARS III STARTS SEPTEMBER 1st :salute:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Rasmodius] * 6
    #29653352 -

Forgive me father

For i once tried to spawn to bulk using soil from my backyard into a monotub in the trunk of my mustang which reached 99 degrees



--------------------
Why try for high fives,
When my pies have nine lives?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: langten69] * 2
    #29653377 -

:shamecube:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Rasmodius] * 2
    #29653467 -

Rasmodius said:
And also thought of a story about how one time I had this email that I kept meaning to get to. This person was important to me, you see, and out of respect for them, I wanted to reply to their message. Which is why I kept it marked unread, and floated to the top of my inbox. So that I could give it the attention I sincerely believed that it deserved. Eventually. Until one day, in about 2022 or so, I looked closer and saw that it was sent in 2019. Slightly missed the boat on whatever that was. Paved with good intentions indeed! I had made a light thing heavy and carried it a rather long way. Oops.





THIS. EXACTLY THIS! I have clicked on the "messages link" so many times and there are some messages from newer people, but the fact that they took the time to message me puts them on my "important" list, and then some people I've known who are also important. I couldn't explain how I was feeling so thank you for doing that for me! That feeling that someone not only understands, but can relate is so relieving.

Rasmodius said:
But this lil confessional crew we got going seems particularly understanding about this exact thing. I think you're among peers here. This is the secret garden where you can just.. take the heavy backpack off. It's allowed, but not mandatory, which is the best, because it's okay if you do but it's also okay if you don't, so it's impossible to lose. Great feeling.=





You know how they say good friends are those that you can not see/talk to for a long time and when you finally do, it feels like you never left? This is how I would describe this place.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: bloodssonnew]
    #29653470 -

bloodssonnew said:
Does medical cover that? 250 a month lwk seems hella expensive



From what I've researched, no. That's the problem with US healthcare. Mental health gets the shaft.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: elchocarrero] * 1
    #29653491 -

elchocarrero said:
Distances in Europe are mind boggling. Having lived in Texas for 8 years and then moving to NL and hearing that a 45 minutes in public transport is "far away" is crazy.



Well, if I take a 45 min public transport ride and the damn train actually does what it's supposed to do, I end up in another country, so it's far away in a sense right. Lolol.

@Nichrome: that's the shroom equivalent of saying 'I eyeballed my acid dose in pure crystal'. Holy fuck. Are your extremities still in the same place? How many tails do you have?

@RG: good to see you around again! And nice fruits!

Confession: while introducing the neighbourhood to all the great music we discovered during the latest trip through Germany (damn I missed my speakers), I accidentally headbutted a large cabinet. Haven't used any drugs in two weeks and I run into the goddamn furniture. Feels weird.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle]
    #29653496 -

what music? don't do me like that, post that shit.


--------------------
Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 1
    #29653517 -

This, for example



Or our camping neighbors' favorite.



Oh man I can't wait for the next festival. Two weeks
As far as I'm concerned we set up camp directly in front of the subwoofers again

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 1
    #29653534 -

hahah fuck n eh. thank you, never heard shit like this.


--------------------
Need a lift?

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