Quote:

People who are consumed with anxiety often have trouble forming relationships. For those who need it most, ghosts from their past may prevent the necessary levels of trust that allow such relationships to form. Cruel irony.

---

Rahz said:

I haven't... but it seems like it's a matter of degree. Some people are highly functional and get a lot of enjoyment from life. Some people not so much. I have an older family member that likes to say "I'm ready to go but not in a hurry".

I think for a lot of people, having a few close friends and family members makes a big difference in whether one has a sense of belonging. It provides some shared love that prevents anxiety from being an ever present PITA. Anxiety seems to push people into relationships of various sorts for respite. This serves the function of survival and procreation, but is also what makes much of life seem worthwhile. I'm not knocking the idea of enlightenment and cessation of suffering, but I think it's a very long term goal and not a substitute for short term goals that provide some respite from DA.

People who are consumed with anxiety often have trouble forming relationships. For those who need it most, ghosts from their past may prevent the necessary levels of trust that allow such relationships to form. Cruel irony.

---

Lion said:

Quote:

People who are consumed with anxiety often have trouble forming relationships. For those who need it most, ghosts from their past may prevent the necessary levels of trust that allow such relationships to form. Cruel irony.

---

That pretty accurately describes the first three decades of my life and how much despair I felt around relationships, solitude and facing life and aging.

After lots of rollercoastering with psychedelics, cannabis, alcohol, traveling, intermittent yoga and meditation, mysterious physical maladies, depression and other mental illness, hypnotherapy seems to be the thing that most definitively opened the crack for healing and pursuing healthy relationships. I'm amazed to be where I am now.</font>

---

that's cool to hear

Kickle said:

Well I'd agree that need can serve a few different functions, not the least of which is helping out with death anxiety. but I don't think that moving away from that particular defense means that something else doesn't take the same place.

If one can get rid of death anxiety then maybe nothing else is needed. I haven't met that person tho, have you?

---

Kickle said:

right and the catholic church helps explain the universe and our role within it + provides community

different strokes for different folks

---

Rahz said:

Kickle said:

right and the catholic church helps explain the universe and our role within it + provides community

different strokes for different folks

---

Not sure why you made the jump to religion... the answers I've provided aren't religious in nature, but human in nature. There are various strategies but the concept of healthy relationships isn't religious or negative by association. I know a guy who's dad is and always has been an asshole to him. They only spoke recently because the father had drank his way out of an esophagus and had to fly back to the states for treatment. His mother is codependent and has a shady husband. His brother is semi-shady. We don't all get good families, but it's good to have some friends. Friends/family, same difference if they are true friends.

---

redgreenvines said:

Kickle said:

Well I'd agree that need can serve a few different functions, not the least of which is helping out with death anxiety. but I don't think that moving away from that particular defense means that something else doesn't take the same place.

If one can get rid of death anxiety then maybe nothing else is needed. I haven't met that person tho, have you?

---

there is always some adjustment that can be perceived as the next essential thing that is needed, and DA is IMO just one of them; there is always unfinished business.

this is similar to thinking in linear concepts, if I get rid of D.A. then everything will be Garden of Eden.

it's already Eden and it's not what you thought.

---

Quote:

the way things cling to one another in dependence, and how resistant to these extraneous things they are to one another.

---

Kickle said:

i was just tying understanding the universe (e.g. that catholic church) to anxiety relief
like I thought you were tying a sense of family or community to anxiety relief

different strokes for different folks

---

beforethedawn said:

You guys really fear death? You have anxiety about it?

The thing that exists that is you is the beginning and the end of the universe simultaneously. You can't go anywhere because you contain the concept 'anywhere'... and 'going'... etc. let alone the body and mind.

The universe is here, now. And it acts from here and now even if you don't. So death can be experienced now. Right now. Then it's onto the next phase of the ride.

As you cease to function as a neurotic ego, the universe changes with every moment into YOU. And YOUR BEING/BEING-NESS.

So it really is a ride. There is nothing to do, there is only Peace and colours.

---

beforethedawn said:

You guys really fear death? You have anxiety about it?

The thing that exists that is you is the beginning and the end of the universe simultaneously. You can't go anywhere because you contain the concept 'anywhere'... and 'going'... etc. let alone the body and mind.

The universe is here, now. And it acts from here and now even if you don't. So death can be experienced now. Right now. Then it's onto the next phase of the ride.

As you cease to function as a neurotic ego, the universe changes with every moment into YOU. And YOUR BEING/BEING-NESS.

So it really is a ride. There is nothing to do, there is only Peace and colours.

---