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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: Swami]
    #1897898 -

Quote:
I have made a "this is the way things are" statement which no one has yet made a strong point against


so, if no one can disprove it, its true? Still waiting for your disproof of God and the Afterlife, btw.

Quote:
A near 50% divorce rate in the USA is a good swath of the general public wouldn't you say? Or should we go to the battered women stats? Or perhaps spousal murder might convince you more...



I am not arguing about the majority. If your point is "the majority of romantic relationships are superficially based", then I agree. But majority is not totality.

Quote:
ALL people act in their own best ineterest ALL the time.


Swami, swami, swami. Tisk Tisk. Its overgeneralized statements like that which make people doubt the objectivity of your skepticism.

Quote:
And the women is getting nothing in exchange for her companionship? Of course she is. It is still a business exchange.


Not a big believer in altruism, huh? I know this is off-topic, but what about situations in which people have given their lives for others, like when that plane crashed into the freezing lake, and that one passenger kept handing the helicopter rope to others who couldn't grasp it? He froze and drowned. No mutual exchange there.

Quote:
IQ has never been a dating requirement.


Maybe it should be. Do you hoestly expect those of lower intelligence to have enough intellectually in common with you to forge a significant rapport?

Quote:
All people are gifted in different ways.


Agreed. But there should be a general equivalence in aptitude, even if both aptitudes are in different areas.

Quote:
Because she has given you what you most need at the time - reassurance of your basic worth as a human-being.


Yup, and I gave that right back to her. This, along with intellectual things we shared, was the basis for our relationship. How is material exchange involved?

Quote:
I emotionally supported a mature, financially secure woman with a PHd through four major life crisis over 5 years. We were soulmates if there ever was. She left me to trade up materially.


I am really sorry to hear that, man. Stuff like that has happened to me too. But I am careful not to let my biterness in regards to one person screw up my entire worldview. Just because some, indeed, MOST people are shitheads doesnt mean they all are.

Quote:
ALL women seek security in some fashion. It is their basic drive.


Many women seek security internally, and would never think of relying on a man for it.


BTW, swami, how do gay and lesbian relationships fit in to all this?



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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: DoctorJ]
    #1897950 -

Yup, and I gave that right back to her.
This is called a business exhange. Value for value - pure and simple.

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALL people act in their own best ineterest ALL the time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Swami, swami, swami. Tisk Tisk. Its overgeneralized statements like that which make people doubt the objectivity of your skepticism.

Not a big believer in altruism, huh? I know this is off-topic, but what about situations in which people have given their lives for others, like when that plane crashed into the freezing lake, and that one passenger kept handing the helicopter rope to others who couldn't grasp it? He froze and drowned. No mutual exchange there.

The rescuer did it BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. He GOT SOMETHING out of it. Perhaps he wanted acclaim from others or a permanent place in heaven, which are selfish reasons. Perhaps he was enculturated in a certain religious morality that left him no choice, but to act in such a manner. If he had no real choice then it was the act of a robot merely performing his programming, now wasn't it?



--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: Swami]
    #1897999 -

Quote:
The rescuer did it BECAUSE HE WANTED TO


maybe. not definitely

Quote:
He GOT SOMETHING out of it.


yeah- he got frostbite and a watery death. Since so many people died on that flight, no one knows that man's name to this day.

I appreciate your theories on why this happened. I don't appreciate your representation of these theories as unchallengeable fact.

try to play by your own rules, eh swami

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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: Swami]
    #1898011 -

. . . She left me to trade up materially.

That'll sour the sauce. Better to have loved. . . eh? right. :frown:

edit: What I mean to say here Swami is that I am sorry for your loss. But I know words don't help much.

Edited by farfelu (09/09/03 10:04 PM)

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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: farfelu]
    #1898469 -

I think we would all be alot more happy if we didnt focus on the negative things in life

i truely beleive the negative things are a temporary part of life...and the positive ones eternal

so in the scheme of infinity, its a waste of time looking for problems in the world when we are so blind to see the beauty

yeah we do have to identify our mistakes (not identify WITH our mistakes) to correct them... but I've found that in this world so many of us have this conditioning of looking for the bad things... like its all that exists... its not true ~!!!!!

the height of goodness exists in this world and i seen em


--------------------
I&I

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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: Swami]
    #1899037 -

Swami said:
No, I want your defintion, not a piece of fiction. Stop side-stepping.



I didn't side step, I stated earlier, "... to be romantic implies that something is not practical but quixotic." Apparently you either ignored this or didn't understand. Romantic love is NOT based on what is practical (although the relationship may also work out that way). Romantic love is an idealized love, it has a component of blind acceptance of the shortcomings of another, the person who is an object of romantic love is often seen without faults. Romantic love can exhibit itself in behavior that denies the physical and material well being of an individual who is experiencing his/her love for another.

If you are looking to understand romantic love, it is illogical to look at personal ads. These do not offer a description nor any insight into the concept, but merely advertise what a person wants prior to even meeting another. Romantic love comes into play later, if at all, and oftentimes involves an abandonment of such criteria that a person may have thought were necessary at an earlier time.

From wordreference.com (bolded emphasis is my own):
romantic
1 of, relating to, imbued with, or characterized by romance
2 evoking or given to thoughts and feelings of love, esp. idealized or sentimental love
example: a romantic woman
example: a romantic setting
3 impractical, visionary, or idealistic
example: a romantic scheme


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"In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination."
-- Mark Twain

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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: kaiowas]
    #1899217 -

He never replies when you do come up with a good point, as infedelgod has just found out!

Why Swami do u ask for a good arguement then refuse to respond when u can't belittle somebody.

If you wana b real, then except that your attitude would soon have you K.Oed in the real world.


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Re: The Illusion of Romantic Love [Re: Ego Death]
    #1899280 -

My own opinion is that men are most concerned about looks, and women are most concerned with wealth and status. Women can be such greedy bitches, but men can be so shallow by judging women on beauty.

As for love, it does exist, but the reasons are subconcious. Physical appearance, wealth, status, even smell all play a role, but it comes together subconciously as one unit and becomes concious in the form of love. I think. :loveeyes: 

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