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How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE!
    #9063654 -

Long story short, about a week ago a girl that I have been talking to online and at parties seemed like a extremely cool chick, the ultimate best friend kind of girlfriend. I think we both could sense this about eachother as we had been eyeballing one another for about a year and just too anxious for either one to make the move. Suddenly on saturday she called me up around 1am wanting to hang out and smoke as she had been experiencing drama with a friend of hers and that friend's bf starting it all. So I go to her house for the first time and we smoke out, she has a big beautiful house with a underground pool in back and works for jenny craig or something as regional manager? I unno nice bod though, she actually useto be fat! We end up taking shots after an hour or so and get quite intoxicated to the point that we are making out pretty hardcore and proceed to her master bedroom followed by getting naked. Soon we're rubbing over each and she kind of... rubs her hand up between my ass cheeks and kind of gives me a deepcheek butt squeeze, then I guess she brings her hand up to stroke my hair or something and her hand passes by her face.. she gives an immediate  :gc: It hits me. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and washes her hand and we both fall asleep after that point.

    The Kill Factor: I forgot that on my way home from work I had farted an extremely wet one, I just knew it and needed to desperately
wash myself of my own shit. I was only home about 10 minutes before she called and I got so excited I just ran over to see her! We didn't talk the rest of the night and immediatly went to asleep and I shortly remembered what I had done earlier and forgot I didn't wash myself! Now I understood the facial reaction!!! She had my SHIT allover her hand!!!! God I probaly got shit allover her bed too. We didn't even talk in the morning except about 2 words and I went home! How would I break it to her that I had simply forgotten over being so anxious to see you that I didn't shower after I had an extremely wet flatulance experience! Now I bet she thinks I'm some lazy bum that never washes his ass :sad:


--------------------
Dude can you hear that smell?,
No but I can taste it...
yea! I see it too!

Edited by DreaminDust (10/11/08 05:54 PM)

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063663 -

I don't really believe you, but I'll still give you a :lol:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063664 -

That's a disturbing picture you've painted.


--------------------
  Moderation is key 

  "There is no god higher than truth." 


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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063669 -

Uhhhh.

Who the fuck shits themselves and doesn't clean up ASAP?

You be full of it, homie. (Whether you're lying or not, that's a true statement.)

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063673 -

ahahaha :rofl:

Fucking brilliant man :grin:.


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9063681 -

My roommate had friends over, I got distracted. I have no reason to lie but I am asking what is a way to break it to her for the reason she had a shitty hand? The truth will set you free right?


--------------------
Dude can you hear that smell?,
No but I can taste it...
yea! I see it too!

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063685 -

Call her up, accuse her of being way too kinky on the first date and say you'll give her another chance. :evil:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063690 -

You're not saving face on this one, man.

Truth is the only option, obviously. There's no excuse for it. How could there be? Jesus.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063694 -

LOL that's sooo gross!  I don't blame her, although I certainly feel bad for you :smirk:

I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this experience!


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: HB]
    #9063697 -

HB said:
I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this experience!


Yeah, that is seriously the best you can hope for, OP.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: HB]
    #9063700 -

sounds like a shitty experience :tongue:


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: danlennon3]
    #9063702 -

danlennon3 said:
sounds like a shitty experience :tongue:


:rimshot:

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #9063716 -

Haha, you said "ba dum CHA!"


--------------------
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: HB]
    #9063733 -

Next date with a girl maybe I'll invite her over to my place and save up a shitload of shit in my bowels then take a shit in my bathroom and say the other is broke followed by closing the door off and keeping my shit smell locked nice and tight so when she needs to pee BAM BITCH gotta smell my shit till you done pissin! Then maybe the moment of getting alittle poo fumes in the ol'factory won't be such a shock since you did stick your hand pretty far down my fucking ass crack. :mad2:


--------------------
Dude can you hear that smell?,
No but I can taste it...
yea! I see it too!

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063738 -

holy shit.  I'm NEVER going home with you.  what's your name, so I know to remember not to ever shake your hand?  or sleep with you, or even use your restroom facilities, for that matter ...


--------------------
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: DreaminDust]
    #9063747 -

If it's true, then you'll do best to never bring it up again. Act like it never happened, ask if she wants to hang out again sometime. And for fuck's sake, wash your dirty ass. You have no excuses on that one bro.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: HB]
    #9063751 -

HB said:
holy shit.  I'm NEVER going home with you.  what's your name, so I know to remember not to ever shake your hand?  or sleep with you, or even use your restroom facilities, for that matter ...


stafoo before I poo on you  :cuteshit:

BAM BITCH!  :murder:


--------------------
Dude can you hear that smell?,
No but I can taste it...
yea! I see it too!

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: SkekTek]
    #9063753 -

Say it was her ass on her own hand.


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: SkekTek]
    #9063757 -

SkekTek said:
And for fuck's sake, wash your dirty ass. You have no excuses on that one bro.



--------------------
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: How to ruin a first date on accident. WITH NO FIX POSSIBLE! [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #9063766 -

I would clean the shit out of my ass. Just as a matter of course, but ESPECIALLY if I was about to go and see a lady. Who are you, Larry the Cable Guy?


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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