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Registered: 05/02/02
Posts: 47
Last seen: 21 years, 2 months
soul searching
    #640845 - 05/22/02 05:59 PM (21 years, 4 months ago)

Man i feel lost in my head, its way more intense than before, like a weed trip. Last night Iate a bunch of weed, then smoked some more, and wow, all i can say is phsycadelic. There were no visuals this time except my imagination took off and i seen home, it wasbeautiful, there were insects and animals and nature but they could talk and they didnt hurteach other. I could smell the light polleny fragance of the air and a pond streamed by mylog cabin. The sky was the most beautiful shade of blue, and i was in a green valley with fluff in the air. I went to play in a creek and the water was a perfect temperature, i just laidthere for a while in the cool blue water. All the plants around me were really bright colors,kinda like here but brighter, but it didnt hurt my eyes. I have never felt that peaceful hereon earth, but kinda close when i was in the mountains.

I kinda feel a bit homesick now, but i still wanna figure out what is going on here on earthwith regards to evolution and the role aliens are playing. I mean i believe now that wehave blueprints from birth and a choice of two from fourty four things to tackle here onearth. I myself am supposed to get over the fear of being lonely as the first thing, and thesecond to become a spiritual person and start thinking for myself not relying on otherpeople like i done all my life. I am developing skitzophrenia or something like it thoughwhich really is no different than a good weed trip, seriously. It is hard to deal with at first,thats why i went nuts a while back and still am, but i can control it better now.

Mybe now i will do something cool for the world that needs help so badly, but that isillusion to, cause we came here to learn from negativity and to bring our new informationup to the other side and share. I guess wanting to change the world is a good sign thatyou are on the right track if you have chosen the track or blueprint of spirituality, mybe bywriting this stuff i am helping some of you, i hope so.

A question for ya, if you sleep under the covers at night does it feel like you are beingtouched or caressed by something, i mean really, i can feel myself being touched when iconcentrate on any part of my body, especially my face.

A quick story, laying in bed the other night, fell asleep and woke up right away, when iwoke up i was looking at my ceiling which was very odd cause i sleep under the coversand i just fell asleep two seconds before that. There was weird shit all over my ceiling likea black flag with each end joining the roof, i think it had a maple leaf on it, very similar toshroom visuals except everything looked backwards some how, luike in a astralprojection, i could barely even see properly. I panicked and immediatly i descended backinto my body through the covers and i couldnt see the roof any more, as i fell i felt mythird eye close like spiral tightening up, way cool, i just wish i wouldnt have pussied out
and continued on in my astral projection.

I think the funniest part of my weirdness is the imagery that tells me to kill things
sometimes, i mean does the dark side actually think i will listen to their bullshit. I do knowwhy so many people kill themselves, sometimes it is too much to handle and i feel like justhitting the floor and screaming. I hear all kinds of voices, and settings to, Usually when ismoke up i here a song the whole time now, the voices are still to crackly for me tounderstand them, although i can hear the odd word kinda like when your listening to a cdand cant quite make out every word, its a bit frustrating.

Another story for ya. I used to play hockey with this kid logan and he was a good kid, ithink his mom had skitzophrenia and she shot him in the head with a shotgun while he wassleeping, i know she killed him cause she loved him, mybe she thought that someone wascoming to hurt him, i mean i think like that alot too, but i know its not real. The weirdthing is that I remember seeing it on the news in my old house, now i live on the sameblock where this incident happened. I would really like to visit this house to see if itcontains a imprint or energy vortex which is created by high emotions of any kind. I droveby it last night and got a bit of a flash but nothing major, i need to go inside. As i wrotethis my monitor made an explosion sound in the back, the screen flashed, and the whole
room flashed too, coincidence, i think not.

I've been feeling watched alot lately, and i know its my spirit guide, i hope it is happy that irecognize its presence finally and it has been answering questions while im high, but i havea hard time remembering and i am trying to work on that while sober as well as ameditation of seeing a past life and another involving meeting a lost relative, and i need tolearn one for contacting my higher self. I dont know, i guess i just lost interest ineverything else now, it seems so stupid to care about wealth to a certain extent here onearth now cause i know will have all i want on the other side, as will everyone else livingthere, and as for friendship, i know i got plenty of friends on the other side, and a few here
too which i think is important for me, even though they think i'm nuts. So i guess whenyou are looking for your meaning in life, for us here anyway, you are living that meaningright now, so like i said before while fucked up, just let it go and have fun along the way,keep expanding your knowledge, try to be nice to mean people, even though they areprogrammed to be assholes for theirs and our purpose, and do good things for those youlove. I hope that evolution is taking the right course and that we will find peace on earth,eventually, they said from 2050 to 2100, during this time many changes will occur as weenter the age of the messiah where the two worlds begin to merge, spirit and physical. Thealiens are supposed to start showing themselves by 2010, and will teach us how to use anti
gravity devices like those used to construct the pyramids. By 2023 Atlantis is supposed tobecome partly visible, fully by 2026. Nothing prophecised after 2100, because that is saidto be the end of this evolution.

I got most of this information from the most wonderful book i have ever laid eyes on, ithas explained almost everything i can think of, and it has brought peace to my soul cause iknow she is telling the truth.

Sylvia Browne
A phsycics guide to our world and beyond
The other side and back

i should mention she is clairvoyant, a medium, and a chaneller as well.


"oh to be a kid again, not a worry in the world except mybe the lack of bubbles in the bath tub"

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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #641036 - 05/22/02 09:11 PM (21 years, 4 months ago)

Sylvia Browne
I saved alot of time by scrolling down and seeing this name.... next time just put it in the thread's subject, okay?

i should mention she is clairvoyant, a medium, and a chaneller as well.
I should mention that she is a crackpot preying on the weak and those with a strong desire to believe (ie. iknow she is telling the truth.). She should try setting up shop in Clearwater, Florida... I'd like to see a good BS vs. BS battle... between Browne and the Scientologists.

Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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old hand
Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 910
Loc: comin' at ya
Last seen: 19 years, 5 months
Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #641072 - 05/22/02 10:32 PM (21 years, 4 months ago)

That was amazing. That was better written than "The Yellow Wallpaper." I'm not saying I agree with all of it, but it was brilliant. If that's really how your mind is going, I hope that you are able to keep control of the reins. If you ever feel yourself getting too far out there, especially concerning the dark side's messages, please entrust yourself to someone. We all need a coach now then, just as we all need TO coach now and then.

Someone around here had a good Gandhi quote, something about being the change we want to see in the world. It seems like good advice. I'm going to save your post.

Peace, and don't fly too high


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Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #641241 - 05/23/02 03:41 AM (21 years, 4 months ago)

I think the funniest part of my weirdness is the imagery that tells me to kill things...

That is not even remotely funny. Please seek help before you hurt anyone. Those are the thoughts of an imbalanced mind. Get off drugs now and restabilize yourself.

Wacky ideas do not equal mystic understanding.


The proof is in the pudding.

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Registered: 04/23/02
Posts: 1,742
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #641373 - 05/23/02 06:34 AM (21 years, 4 months ago)

You need to begin strengthening your mind and stop believeing everything that people tell you, including what you tell yourself. The things that you are experiancing are not "wierd" and you are not a freak, as much as you would like to think so. You just need to gain more control over your mind. In a way, this can be looked at as the goal of spiritual seeking.

The mind can be divided into three parts. The higher intelligence, the animal instinct, and the reasoning aspect. A wise man is one who keeps these in balance at all times.


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old hand
Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 910
Loc: comin' at ya
Last seen: 19 years, 5 months
Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #641491 - 05/23/02 08:18 AM (21 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, balance is the key. And where psychedelics are involved, it's that much trickier. You've been face-to-face with God and lived, so far. But remember a good many men and women have been through that same perilous land and never returned. We can't afford to lose all our best warriors that way.

From the link I'm providing: "Amongst indigenous cultures the apprentice shaman, whilst learning his/her art, will suffer in a way that seems identical to someone suffering from schizophrenia and/or manic depression. This site suggests that perhaps the methods that these shamans use to control their new consciousness can work for people in the western world that suffer from these conditions. "


And here are some other links


I think that this is an important link (shamanism-schizophrenia) for shroomers to be aware of. I'm not a very balanced person, myself, and I know that if I'm going to use drugs responsibly, I'd better be about five steps ahead of these pitfalls.

But here I remind myself that it would be very wrong to suggest that all types of schizophrenia or schizophrenic tendencies are resolvable through meditation or just plain improved self-awareness.

May there always be method to your madness


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Re: soul searching [Re: InDiCaToRgReEn]
    #642636 - 05/24/02 02:09 AM (21 years, 4 months ago)

I think meditation would be your best course of action.

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