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Impossible Decisions
    #5143829 -

You know the ones I am talking about.

The decisions that you agonize over for months (or as long as you can put them off, whichever comes last), the heart-wrenching choices that cannot be made without a sense of loss. The ones you remember years later and, while you know you would make the same decision again, you still wince.

How do you come to terms with these necessary, but difficult choices?

What does your particular spiritual belief/stance tell you about making and living with painful decisions?

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143837 -

I've been thinking about changing my signature pic. But I identify with it and so have been frozen with indecision.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143839 -

I'm fortunate, I've never been faced with such a difficult life decision to make.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143840 -

Whichever decision that was made, was the only one that could be made, and thus was the correct one at the time.


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: MOTH]
    #5143842 -

Maybe I'm just taking my life too seriously.  :crazy:

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143847 -

Well, whenever I do have to make a difficult choice, it's easiest just to do it and not think about it. DOING helps you do what you really want to DO. Thinking about what you want to do just confuses the issue.

(in my opinion)

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Rono]
    #5143856 -

Yes, I agree. The correctness or incorrectness is not what troubles me, though. It is purely the emotional repurcussions.

The first such decision I had to make was about getting divorced. There were three people involved in the situation: me, my husband, and our son. Neither of them wanted the divorce to happen, and yet I had to go ahead with it. I know it was the right decision, but there are echoes of pain and regret and loss which linger on.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143881 -

Look at it this way...

Whatever emotional grief you are suffering now would have been increased a hundred fold in the future if you hadn't made the decision.


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143898 -

I guess being obsessed with my emotions as I am, I tend to ask myself, "Well, WHY is there still so much pain and loss over this decision? If it was the right decision then why does it still harass me?"

But that's because I tend to believe the right decisions do feel good, in the long run. And if you feel good, then you can have faith that you made the right decision, because your life is about you. I don't know if personal happiness is supposed to erase memories, pain and loss, but it can certainly help you feel at ease with the choices you've made.

So if you're happy, satisfied and content where you are at today (you feel fulfilled) then why would anything that happened before, matter? It happened, it's over and done with. That's it. That pain you feel only serves to keep you tied to the past. There might be a reason for that, or there might not, that's up to you to choose. You are you today. Not yesterday, or yester year.

If you know in your heart your decision fulfilled you, then have faith in that and let everything else attached to that personal choice melt away. You made a choice for you, and to my mind that's never something to feel regret or pain about.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: MOTH]
    #5143903 -

Quote:
But that's because I tend to believe the right decisions do feel good, in the long run.


I have found just the opposite to be true...The 'right' choice is usually the one that is the most painful make.


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Rono]
    #5143917 -

Rono said:
Quote:
But that's because I tend to believe the right decisions do feel good, in the long run.


I have found just the opposite to be true...The 'right' choice is usually the one that is the most painful make.


Well, what do I know, I'm a young un.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: MOTH]
    #5143934 -

EllemyshShade said:
Well, whenever I do have to make a difficult choice, it's easiest just to do it and not think about it.  DOING helps you do what you really want to DO.  Thinking about what you want to do just confuses the issue. 



I'd have to agree. I'd say that what is most painful is remembering a time when you did NOTHING when you really should've done SOMETHING. Even though i have a distaste for the feeling of regret, you are more likely to have a greater regret for something not done than for something done.

btw emelly, i love your sig pic, as well as your avatar for that matter  :mushroom2: :heart:


--------------------

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: MOTH]
    #5143938 -

IMO, the decisions I find "impossible," are those in which I can see real benefits to BOTH options, and thus real losses through either choice.

In the case of my divorce, the benefits of staying married were mostly for other people.  For several years, I put those benefits ahead of the losses I was experiencing by not divorcing.  It was not until the losses far outweighed the benefits that I chose to divorce.

Now the losses seem like ghosts of the life I chose not to live.  It's more like being haunted than harassed.  I agree that I've made the choices I needed to make to get where I am today, and that I'm satisfied with the "me" I've created through tough decisions, yet the ghosts still cling.

In a more recent decision, I had to disappoint someone I love very much.  Again, I know this is the right choice, but I so regret that they are experiencing pain.  :frown:

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5143991 -

Time will heal it. Sooner or later they'll realize you made the right choice.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: exclusive58]
    #5144008 -

I hope so.  While I realize that I cannot "make" anyone feel sad, or disappointed, I'm soft-hearted & would prefer that my dear ones never experience emotional pain.  :frown:

I know, I know, that's totally unrealistic, and probably not even desireable, as emotionally painful situations can teach us so much about ourselves.  What can I say, I'd love a gentler, kinder world, where we could all learn and grow without pain.  :shrug:

Also, I love my dears so much, it hurts when they are hurting.  :frown:

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5144020 -

That would truly be unhealthy. Pain = growth. All growth has an element of struggle to it.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Icelander]
    #5144025 -

:lol: You caught me before my ninja edit.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5144027 -

a song by moxy fruvous comes to mind

You Can't Be Too Careful

(All)
You can't be too careful.
You can't agonize over it.
You can't be too careful.
Make your mind up and go for it.

(Dave)
You say you wanna make some changes,
maybe quit and get an education.
Maybe you'd like Louisiana,
you could maybe manage a plantation.

There's always teaching English in Tokyo,
or maybe you'd be better off here.
Come a little bit closer.

(Dave & Jian)
I wanna put a little word,
put a little word in your ear.

(All)
You can't be too careful.
You can't agonize over it.
You can't be too careful.
Make your mind up and go for it.

(guitar and harmonica section)

(Dave) (Mike & Murray)
Now, now you wanna go skiing in Aspen,
but you're ashamed of your equipment. you're ashamed of
And you're dyin' for a fairy tale romance, it all...
but you're not that good at commitment.

When you feel like Woody Allen for the dialogue,
but you prefer Tarantino's vision.
Holding up the ticket line

(Dave & Jian)
is not the time,
not the time to make this decision.

(All)
You can't be too careful.
You can't agonize over it.
You can't be too careful.
Make your mind up and go for it.

(Jian says "can't")

You can't be too careful.
You can't agonize over it.
(Dave exclaims "Please don't")
You can't be too careful.
Make your mind up and go for it.

(guitar and harmonica outro)


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Veritas]
    #5144031 -

I'd love a gentler, kinder world.

Vote for the Republicans. :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Impossible Decisions [Re: Icelander]
    #5144035 -

Not.  :tongue:  That would be an example of an easy decision.

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