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 MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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 Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. 
#3853485 - 03/01/05 05:21 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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A few months ago I was so certain of my purpose in life...now I'm not so sure. Everything is cloudy. I can't take it anymore, this feeling of being 'half-there.' I do not blame my lost path on weed, but more my abuse of it these past few months. So I'm quitting until further notice. What sucks is that the prospect of not smoking weed for awhile makes me feel really depressed. Sometimes the only highlight of my day is getting stoned. And that's how I knew that I needed to cut back. People who read my posts here on the Shroomery know that I've been saying that I'm going to cut back for months, and yet I haven't done it yet. Well, now's the time.
I'm hoping that whenever I get the urge to toke up I'll read a book instead or exercise. This will not be easy though, because I have tried to quit before and have given in like, on the second day. Yes, I'm aware of how pathetic this sounds. In fact, the reason why I didn't start a thread like this earlier is because I was worried about people thinking I am weak-willed and pathetic, or that I am blaming my problems on the weed. WEll, I AM weak-willed and my situation is pathetic, but it is my misuse of this wonderful plant which has caused me trouble, not the plant itself. Weed has done a lot of good for me, but now it's time to put it aside.
So I'm guessing this will be sort of a journal that I hope will help me stop this bad habit of toking up nightly, or even throughout the day. My goal is to lay off on the pot until spring break (about 2 weeks away) and then only toke once (yes, Ellemy, ONCE!) a week. I'm really hoping that by keeping a log it will give me some strength to quit the habit.
So there it is. I'm going to try and keep busy. To be honest, the very thought of not smoking tonight is making me want to cry. I've had a shitty day and all I want to do is relax and get high. But I can't, because that's how my trouble started since I have no self-control. I'm going to have to find something else to do but I don't know what that is. I've thought about getting drunk instead but that will only cause more problems. Somehow I have to deal with these feelings of wanting to be high all the time.
Suggestions welcome.
*me*
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 signoffate
Only Human
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 161
Loc: Where is here?
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3853666 - 03/01/05 05:59 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Just surrender, that could mean letting go of Pot for a time or just toking a little because you feel you NEED it, for now... it won't always be like this you know. Cold turkey is hard, why not focus on what your going to do with your time instead, infact take a small hit and give it some real deep thought... go for a walk and ask yourself what you want, how you see yourself getting there, and be honest, don't try to kid yourself into thinking that It's the weeds fault or some other shit, make do with your situation as best you can... and if your intentions are true then you will very soon be looking at your life from a new angle.
Anything that affects your mind and remains in your body does create dependency, and withdrawl is perfectly natural... pace yourself!
Edited by signoffate (03/01/05 06:03 PM)
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Blu Spore
Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 1,319
Loc: Canada 
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3853689 - 03/01/05 06:05 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well wanting to quit is the first step  I recently quit smoking pot after 5 years of daily smoking. It has been almost a month and a haft since I flushed my last joint down the toilet. I can honestly say I have not felt this good physically and mentally in years, my mind is so much sharper and I feel like I have way more energy. I tried smoking pot again about a week ago and found that it hurt my lungs and I did not enjoy the high as much as I used to.
The first five days are the hardest and your brain constantly wants to smoke up but once you get over that initial feeling it becomes easier to cope. You may find that once you do give it up, you wont even want to smoke once a week because it will ruin that clarity of mind that will seem new to you (I don?t know how long you smoked for but the longer you do it the more clouded your mind becomes) Good luck! Also if you can?t sleep without pot try meletonin for the first while.
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JacquesCousteau 
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3854021 - 03/01/05 07:16 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
Sometimes the only highlight of my day is getting stoned.
Forgive me, I didn't read the whole post... don't have enough time right this instant. But I wanted to comment on this one thing.
First of all, I'm going through the exact same shit... fighting back and forth between the fact that smoking keeps me happy and the fact that I know it's bad for me and clouding my ability to see my own path in life.
But here's the thing... you've got to completely break free of it. You've got to make it so smoking isn't even an idea...
Then, on the days that smoking WOULD have been the only highlight of your day, you'll find that there are TONS of smaller highlights that stand out.
All the time we spend thinking about toking and how great it's gonna be, or (During the transition) all the time we spend thinking about toking and how much we wish we could fucking light up a bowl... *twitch twitch*
All that time is filled with these tiny little moments of wonder. Each one would be a highlight of our day, if it weren't for the relative distance we create between boring moments and these so-called highlights, by getting stoned.
It's like... if you allow the highlight of your day to become getting stoned, all other highlights will pale in comparison. So you've got to break free from the attachment to this one highlight in order to see all the other smaller highlights that are being drowned out by the glow of the burning embers.
I'm not trying to preach to you or anything... like I said, i'm in the same place. My talking this out is helping me as much (if not more) than it's helping you.
Be strong... you can do it if you believe you can. After day 3, it's all downhill.
-JC
*finishing up day 2 of sobriety*
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superblingtheory
ghettogepetto
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 921
Loc: Omnipresent
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: JacquesCousteau]
#3854124 - 03/01/05 07:53 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Good for you EllemyshShade! I didn't stop smoking it but recently went only for eating it and it's been about two weeks and no smoking it and I limit my intake to only in the PM hours (not during worktime) and only once a week. So far I only ate some when I had a bonfire with my friends last week, and last night for purely sexual reasons. Two things led me to believing this would be effective- 1. This costs so much to cook and not smoke, the cost itself is prohibative. 2. The experience is so qualitively different and strong that it does not lend itself to any kind of activity that I would be doing if I could just smoke a bit and go work in my shops. Maybe you would want to try to make target approaches to consumption like this a possibility to consider- I only say this because it worked well for me- but I wish you luck in doing whatever you feel is right- and it is very nice to see someone admitting they are overconsuming something and trying to make really positive changes not clouded with the problematics of blame. Very nice. Your post is a positive ray of light.
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Guts and danger, Airborne Ranger...
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Divided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 13 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: superblingtheory]
#3855113 - 03/01/05 11:52 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Alot of freinds of mine have gone through weed "withdrawls", you feel pretty dull and depressed for a few weeks. What many people don't see is that the weed can actually be the source of the depression, rather than simply an escape from it. I've always only smoked in frequently and could always count on feeling spacey, unmotivated, depressed for the next 12-24 hours. From what I understand that feeling builds the more you use it, and takes longer to go away. You need to believe that sober life can also be good, and just stick with it until you feel better.
I think you will definately find the world making more sense, and life to be more rewarding. I still crave weed sometimes, and maybe I'll go back at some point, but I think my 9 month hiatus has really helped me.
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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Divided_Sky]
#3855291 - 03/02/05 12:32 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks guys. 
Tonight, my husband started toking out of the vaporizer and I was tempted, but I jumped on the treadmill and exercised instead. Now I'm cleaning and doing laundary. I feel good right now.
Day one without pot was a success. 
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc: 
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Blu Spore]
#3855714 - 03/02/05 03:07 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
JimmytheWorm said:
The first five days are the hardest and your brain constantly wants to smoke up but once you get over that initial feeling it becomes easier to cope.
I have had to quit for a couple of weeks before.(not on purpose....dry spell  )and the first 3-5 days are a real bitch. My wife told me that if she could find some pot she would buy it for me. 
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Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: niteowl]
#3858845 - 03/02/05 06:00 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well, it's day 2 of not toking and it feels like it's been F O R E V E R.
but it's only been 2 days...agh. I feel like my brain is keeping track of every passing second that I am sober. Like there's a clock in my head keeping track...tick tick tick need to smoke tick tick tick.
WEll, I'm hanging on!! I've been doing some reading and running around town. I'll exercise tonight but mostly I just feel BLAH. I feel achy and befuddled. Mostly because I'm unpleasantly sober.
But I'm not giving up! 
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the_phoenix
Stranger
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3859131 - 03/02/05 06:56 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Keep it up!!!
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Sterile
mushroom lover
Registered: 03/16/01
Posts: 2,529
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3859155 - 03/02/05 07:03 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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This is very good, and much more easy than what it seems for you right now...its just the rist few steps that are annoying...
I was smoking for the past 7 years soooo much that i don't even remember what sober feels like... on my 5th month off weed right now, and it feels as if i am being born into a new world.
I start to learn about how my brain functions without THC, very interesting.
I was so stoned, that i wouldn't even post here....
Its nice to hear of more shroomerites coming back home after a long trip.
Welcome home Ellemy!
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The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind
"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek
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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3859472 - 03/02/05 07:50 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"
"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer
Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.
"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
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Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
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 Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3859580 - 03/02/05 08:18 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well tomorow will be your day 3 and It will be my day one. Due to my recent legal problems. Being arrested and charged with three felony drug possesion charges I am not really quiting out of my own will as much as I am being forced too by the government. I will still share in your same struggles though. I am giving up on my own terms. I could keep smoking untill my court date which probably won't be another 45-50 days but I am deciding to clean up my act now so as to look good to the judge. I will also be attending my first NA meeting tomorow night as well and It will be my first day sober from everything in 7 years. I wish you luck ellemy.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3859720 - 03/02/05 08:45 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Just get over the 3-day hump and you'll be cool.
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KackleDude
transmundaneother
Registered: 06/11/02
Posts: 863
Loc: Close to the Edge, Down b...
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Silversoul]
#3859787 - 03/02/05 09:00 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Good move, I knew it was time to quit when I made the jump to the real world, living independently. It's tough for a while, and it may take a couple attempts (I know it did for me), but I've only smoked a few times in the last couple months and It really feels more normal for me to not smoke now. Strange, I would light up daily for years and now If I feel like smoking I just ask myself 'what would be the point? you may get relaxed and forget your problems.. but then you're forgetting your problems..'
It's really be beneficial in the long run, especially if you feel it will be.
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yeeeahh, it's gonna be well wicked
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: KackleDude]
#3863081 - 03/03/05 02:57 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks for the continued support guys.
To be honest, I'm not doing too good.  It's day three and I feel so down. It bothers me to think that this might be my natural sober state, this depression. Blah, makes me remember why I started smoking habitually to begin with. Weed did wonders for my moody personality.
I am going to be around people who will be smoking this weekend. Kevin and his step-mother. Kevin says that I am just overreacting about the weed. And I trust him, but I don't think so. I DO feel a lot more 'awake,' much more sharp and excitable. But that is part of the problem too, because the old anxiety is hitting me hard. I'm irritable. Maybe I am just freaking out about it too much. Who knows. I don't. It's annoying that I feel so bummed out and I know that toking a bit of weed would make me feel so much better. Yeah, this is a lame post but oh well, fuck it.
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agr8fulchick
Feed Your Head!
Registered: 08/19/04
Posts: 707
Loc: Stranded in Iowa
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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 Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3863315 - 03/03/05 03:31 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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You are so cute EllemyshShade! I just love reading your posts
I have been looking for jobs, and since I know that a drug test will be required, I have been clean since the beginning of december, and I only made exceptinos on new year's and when a very special friend came over. I'm ok with it, I don't NEED it, it's just like drinking, you don't need that either. My friends still smoke, and I still sit in the room and chill with them. They always look a bit more ridiculous when I'm not also stoned, but that can be amusing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't need it. I don't even really feel any desire to smoke it, as my lungs feel all nice and pink and smoke-free. I've also discovered good rum and fine wine! I love rum and coke, so my suggestion is that when you feel the urge to toke up, go mix yourself a yummy drink or poor a glass of wine (or whatever you like). The yummy drink can be your reward for not smoking, and it's legal too!
I'm pulling for you. If you want some super smooth Puerto Rican rum, come on over, drinks are on me  
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Life's a journey. Take the scenic route.
 
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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3863323 - 03/03/05 03:32 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
Yeah, this is a lame post but oh well, fuck it.
Don't be ridiculous!
I have some idea what you're talking about, having tried stopping at least three or four times. But take solace in the notion that what you are experiencing truly is a result of the weed. I found that the worst part of quitting was the boredom. For me, finding things to occupy myself with so I didn't think about the pot worked well, perhaps it would for you too. Rent some movies, buy a nice bottle of wine, and enjoy the evening with your husband. Go exercise, go shopping, go meet people, volunteer somewhere, start a garden. Actually, starting a garden would be wonderful (assuming you don't already have one), as it's so therapeutic and just, well, wonderful. Just don't think about the weed. In time you will think about it less and less. Your mood will stabilize within a week or two, and you will be back to the sober norm. If you are having serious problems and cannot distract yourself, you could try some herbal remedies like valerian, kava, St. John's Wort, niacinamine, melatonin, etc.
Nothing but good vibes your way
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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"
"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer
Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.
"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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agr8fulchick
Feed Your Head!
Registered: 08/19/04
Posts: 707
Loc: Stranded in Iowa
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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 Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: dblaney]
#3863345 - 03/03/05 03:35 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes, wine and a garden! Everyone should have a garden, or potted plants if you don't have room for a garden But definately some wine...
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Life's a journey. Take the scenic route.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: agr8fulchick]
#3863521 - 03/03/05 04:03 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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You guys are great.  I know I'm being whiny about quitting, but hey, it's my thread right? 
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